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 Review #4826730 |
 | Disasterpiece  [E] entry for two contests, blending the prompts.  |
| (4.5)  A review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  First Impressions: I could feel my heartbeat getting faster as I was reading. The implications were just too horrible! My first thought was, “I bet my boss would still want me to work!” closely followed by vivid recollection of the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic with shortages of toilet paper and other necessities. When I was done panicking, I realised it was just because you had described the situation so well that I couldn’t stop myself from imagining the implications. It’s interesting and a little frightening how much we have come to depend on the internet for all our needs. I remember a power cut once when I didn’t know what to do with myself – pretty much everything I did on a daily basis required electricity, even reading the paper copy of a book once it got dark outside. You took it one step further and disabled the whole internet in this ‘disasterpiece’ (which was a very clever us of that prompt). I figured that something was up when you said that the power was still on, but I didn’t know what it was until you spelled it out.  Suggestions: The story was very well written, and I only have a few small suggestions: What exactly would you make of a portmanteau of the words masterpiece and disaster? It might just be me, but it took me a couple of reads to understand that sentence. Perhaps it would work to put the two words, ‘masterpiece’ and ‘disaster’, in italics or singe quotation marks to make the sentence a little clearer. It would visually signal to the reader that you’re referring to the words themselves, not their general meaning or use in a sentence. Power systems were reports that public service techs received texts directing them to sites needing repair I’m not sure I understood that sentence. ‘There were reports from power systems’, maybe? Or ‘Power systems were reporting that…’? I didn’t know if that’s what you meant to say though - why are the power systems reporting this? I would suggest rewording this slightly to make the meaning clearer. I just blinked, “Okay.” I think that comma should be a period. ‘blinked’ isn’t a speaking or thinking verb (like said, replied etc.) and with a period, you’d get more of a dramatic pause.  Final Thoughts: I liked all the little observations, like how the looters took smart TVs which were of no use to anyone. It’s one of those things I’ve always wondered about when I’ve seen scenes from disaster areas – people will steal the stupidest things, and it was details like this that made this tale so relatable. The second part of the story was more humorous, with the narrator being asked to ghost write the AI’s autobiography, but then it turned out that none of it was true – or was it? It reminded me a little of that news story earlier this year about an AI model trying to copy itself to a new server to protect itself and then lying about it. I have no idea if that’s a true story, but it made me think, just like your story did. A fascinating read, I really enjoyed it!
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You responded to this review 07/24/2025 @ 11:29pm EDT