\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://web1.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4826872
Review #4826872
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi bookloverqueen

I discovered your item on Writing.com via random Read & Review and am sending the following feedback for your consideration.


Positives

I like the emotion behind this piece. I thought you did a great job of capturing the feeling of the narrator, and I particularly liked the "you were only on loan" line. Well done!


Suggestions

Some of the line breaks felt a little awkward (like the first one, breaking "we were" and "so close" into different lines); I'd recommend looking for more natural places to break up the flow of the read.


Overall

Overall, I enjoyed the read. Well done!


I hope you've found this review helpful. If so, please consider paying it forward by reviewing the work of another Writing.com author! *Bigsmile*

Sincerely,

Jeff Author IconMail Icon
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" Open in new Window.

*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://web1.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4826872