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 Review #4829080 |
 | Whispering Hallow  [18+] My erotic take..  |
| (5.0)| Dear sindbad ~This poem seems deeply personal with its sensual theme. This is intimate exploring of a sexual encounter (feels like the first), as the speaker experiences physical sensations that imply nature’s romantic visions. The imagery has bursts of energy in collected phrases making a powerful connection to nature, with "birdsong," "surf," "sky," and "forests hollow" to describe one’s partner and the physical encounter itself. You progress from the knowable sense of entering when you offer “when I entered her,” lighting up the engine of what’s to come. You give detailed description of physical touch and emotions with physiological responses. The "trembling orbit" and "high wind in her forests hollow" are profound in a sort of cosmic experience. You add, "negotiate a treaty between cowardice and lustful trust" which made me stop to ponder. I decided it’s more than a hint at vulnerability but complex a reverence for her in the encounter. The verses yet get more explicit, describing "fingers whispering sound," "thigh impaled on a lance of tongues," and "honey flowed from the split cup / on the tips of her breasts on her navel / along with the privilege of her nipples," all bursting with physical feelings carving a space between spirituality and the act itself, as it feel strange and yet exhilarating, maybe with some reserved shame. The final lines are equally intense, an overwhelming climax, with pleasure and a form of ecstatic "pain" intertwine. It felt raw and visceral, like good sex should leave one, adding that this is emotionally charged. For me, this reads a bit spastic, as one might have thoughts and phrases during intercourse. But the nature themes give it a romantic, if not life altering quality. It felt primal and uninhibited with this connection. Somewhere along the way, it almost seemed mythological, depicting oral sex and the release of pleasure. Beyond where the body is pushed to its limits of sensation, so too the mind. I found many metaphors worthy of note, like "forests hollow" or her body as a "trembling orbit,” showing intensity…plus, "lance of tongues" for oral stimulation. These metaphors gave authenticity to the experience, making more profound and symbolic. Your poem is heavy on sensory imagery, appealing to sight, sound and touch, while some nature elements may evoke sense of smell and taste indirectly. I like personification here…though, not completely personifying the inanimate, nature’s elements and body parts come to life. And, use of enjambment, where lines run into the next without punctuation, creates a sense of bursts like urgency, as the unfolding sexual act and this raw narrative intensity. The physical connection created a profound emotional and spiritual experience intermingling. You’re really capturing in the moment. I could say, it puts the reader there, especially in the mind. I appreciate vulnerability and trust with that "treaty between cowardice and lustful trust,” taking an emotional risk and the following reward shows revelation is good. Feelings of this intimacy make it classier. And, consistent use of nature imagery portrays theis partner's body as a vast, beautiful, and wild landscape to be explored and experienced. There is a comparative at work there showing the value of the experience. In the end, "howling into entrances / through lungs of pain," put this reader at the pinnacle of pleasure. Very intense, as it borders on pain, (“Hurts So Good”). Really brought it together. Very authentic, well expressed with a sort of mindfulness happening. It was well done expressively. Brian WDC disAbility Writer’s Group  Sorry if any confusing typos.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 08/09/2025 @ 3:00am EDT