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Review #4833757
Viewing a review of:
 
Something About the Rain Open in new Window. [18+]
What the rain did to Velda
by thereBdragons Author Icon
Review by JACE Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A WdC SuperPowers Review


Hi thereBdragons Author Icon.

I'm JACE Author Icon, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "Something About the Rain" Open in new Window..

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. I'm reviewing your story as part of the Writing.Com festivities. I hope you're taking time to check out all the activities going on across the site.

This was an interesting story, and one made more difficult to read by use of what I'll call "country slang," for lack of a better term. I was able to follow your character's train of thought for the most part. But I would caution against using too much slang--I found it distracting from my reading. One example, you wrote: She natters on and on about nothin' most of the time anyways these days. You could easily delete the word 'anyways.' A little goes a long way.

I admit, I thought you were heading in a different direction for your ending initially. Good job with your title and the brief description. Both should be used as a billboard to entice your reader to read your story. They did that job well. And I think your description contains a double meaning within the story, which is especially perceptive.

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

         *Bullet* It's apparent that your male character is talking throughout the story by the use of the opening quotation marks. And they would be correctly used until the final paragraph, which requires a set of closing quote marks.

         *Bullet* Also, double-check that all quote marks are the same (" instead of '), and the spacing is correct.

*Star* My Rating.  4.5. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/06/2025 @ 2:38pm EDT
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