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Review #4834755
Viewing a review of:
 
California Parable - The Purple Goddess Open in new Window. [E]
A dance with a goddess from California’s secret gardens.
by Triple-L Author Icon
Review by LdyPhrankenstein Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings Triple-L Author IconMail Icon-

*Bullet*This is review of "California Parable - The Purple Goddess" Open in new Window..*Bullet*
This review is given in the spirit of fellowship, and to help improve each other's writing.
It by no means is meant to cause harm by the opinions expressed within.
Please take what you feel is constructive and discard the rest.


[ First Thoughts ]

         While not nearly as ominous, I'm reminded of Macbeth with the imagery of the innocent blossom and the serpent that lies underneath. In that instance, it was a matter of hiding malicious intentions. However, the Purple Goddess uses this imagery as a warning to her lover that something more tempestuous lies beneath her surface.

         The love shared, while temporary, left an impression on both the narrator and me. I can imagine that the Purple Goddess could have easily led the narrator on a merry chase without cautioning him of the consequences of what admiring her meant. She is a love that cannot be tamed. Still, there is some care on her part in letting him go. And so she became a lesson learned.

[ Errors ]

         I could find no grammatical errors. Good job! *ThumbsUpGreen*

[ Suggestions ]

         This story was stunning in its descriptive prose. I have no notes or suggestions.

[ Favorite Line/Segment ]

"We spun through hours like dancers in smoke, riding the sun's back as, she dipped below the horizon, only to rise again over a sea of cloud."


         This scene was so beautifully depicted, I'm at a loss for words about what to say. The flowing language of lovers dancing throughout the day, slipping into night, lost in their own world - it was mesmerizing to read. Exceptional job.

[ Conclusion ]

         I was left awed after reading your short story. It's been a while since I've been so taken away with someone's writing. You have a wonderful way with words.

         Thank you so much for sharing your tremendous story. Write on!



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