I enjoyed the visuals and the worldplay in the piece. It was a fun, entertaining read. Nice work!

I think that the last word of the poem should be "nigh" rather than "neigh" (if you're trying to rhyme it with "lie" and "sky."

The general rhyme scheme of the poem was a little hard to follow, as it changed structure here and there throughout the piece. Without stanza breaks, the reader gets into an initial rhythm of "ababb" but then it changes to "caccdd," and so on. If there's a desire to change the internal structure of the rhyme in the middle of the poem, I'd suggest using line breaks to create stanzas to visually tell the reader when they need to interrupt their flow and learn a new rhythmic progression.

Overall, I think you're off to a good start with this piece. There's room for improvement, but you have a strong foundation to build from. Well done!