Hello, Joeseph Kickenbottom,

Welcome to Writing.com.

Here is a review for your "Chalk and Cheese" .

Comments and Observations:

Artful, stylistic, and eccentric! This is my initial reaction.

When I get down to it, I see that you love wordplay, sound and language as if these are music.

As to the title, I think you meant 'different but united in meaning' as chalk refers to writing and creation, and cheese labor and food for thought. Nice, the way you brought together something literary with metaphorical use!

I like the energy in your poem, added to its wit and whimsy. You played with sounds and used alliteration. For example, "mineral writ and molden ghee,” “cheesy motive force,” “chalken writing’s course”

For some reason, maybe because of the poem's playful rhythm, I thought of older ways of poetry writing, as it sounds scholarly in some way but also, quite rustic. 19th Century, maybe?

The rhyme scheme looks consistent and natural. It isn't forced at all.

The final couplet is beautiful. It ties the original metaphor together: "that chosen cheesy motive force // that sets my chalken writing’s course!"

In short, this is an inventive, sound-rich poem. In it, you turned a common idiom into a personal and artistic view.

Suggestions on the text as to grammar, usage, and punctuation

The only thing I can say in this area, not that it is wrong but for the contemporary poem-readers' sake, you might consider clarifying "ranchen." Maybe using 'ranch-hand" instead might work if you were to choose to do that.

Best wishes with your work.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .