I discovered your item on Writing.com via random Read & Review and am sending the following feedback for your consideration.
Positives
I really enjoyed this poem. I thought you did a good job with the imagery and the structure of the piece, which created an easy, flowing read. It was an emotional, effective poem. Nice job!
Suggestions
Some of the lines were very short and broken at odd places; if you were to revisit this piece, it might be worth playing around with the line structure to see if it can be optimized a bit.
Overall
Overall, this was a great read. Nice work!
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