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 Review #4841234 |
 A review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"   First Impressions: As this story is in the ‘horror’ genre, I expected it to be scary, and it began in a typical horror way, with someone hearing a voice in the dark, but it soon shifted into something more hopeful. The mysterious voice that didn’t seem to be one of the narrator’s ‘usual’ ones, offered a way to silence all those voices in his head, and he happily agreed. There was a moment when I thought this tale could actually have a happy ending, with the narrator feeling better without having to take meds that made him feel numb, before I remembered that we didn’t actually know anything about this new voice. It came out of nowhere and sounded threatening to begin with, and there was no reason to believe that something suddenly speaking in the dark would be benevolent. And it wasn’t, but the narrator realised this too late. It could have been a simple misunderstanding - the narrator wasn’t specific enough when he told the voice what he wanted them to do - but somehow, I didn’t think that was the case. The question was asked in a way to trick the narrator into agreeing.  Suggestions: The story was well written and I only have a few small suggestions: “Nothing there.” It’s possible that he said this out loud since he just explained that he talked to the voices, but I think it would read better if you put this in italics to indicate that he was thinking it - it wasn’t part of the conversation. Alternatively, you could make it part of the narrative - “my hands were fumbling to find the flashlight usually kept in my bedside drawer, but found nothing there.” “Not me!” “I'm afraid of the dark." As these are two different sentences, I wasn’t sure for a moment if both the characters were speaking here, but that didn’t seem to make sense. I think this was just the narrator speaking, so it should be one sentence. “Not me! I'm afraid of the dark." If you intended for the last sentence to be spoken by the voice, I think you need to make it clearer.  Final Thoughts: As the word count is exactly 300 words, I assume this was written for a contest. I would always recommend putting a link to the contest and a note what the prompt was at the bottom of the entry. It’s always interesting for the readers to know what inspired a story. It probably also means that my suggestions above are of no use to you as they would require you to add words. You created quite an unsettling tale here, and I enjoyed the read!
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You responded to this review 10/25/2025 @ 3:31pm EDT