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 Review #4841392 |
Tonight Your Life Will End . . .  [18+] . . . Tomorrow Your Legend Begins.  |
| (5.0)  A review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  First Impressions: I saw this posted in the newsfeed. You advertised three stories and this one sounded the most intriguing, and when I started reading, I realised that I wasn’t the only one who thought this was a great title. The opening couple of paragraphs were a great hook, and since you chose Dark and Supernatural as two of the genres, the readers, unlike the main character, weren’t rubbing their hands - they were expecting something other than African diamonds to be waiting for the burglar. But the tale didn’t go where I expected it to - the owner of the mansion wasn’t a supernatural being of some description hoping for a hapless burglar to wander into its lair to try and steal from him. You had something very different in mind. The story started with just enough explanation and backstory to make sure the readers knew what was going on, and then went straight to the action. The burglary itself was quite fast paced and exciting, and I didn’t expect the outcome at all. I still suspected that there was some kind of supernatural being waiting for him - and in a way, there was, only not like I had imagined it. The scene that followed was scary as the main character found himself in a nightmarish situation where he couldn’t see, couldn’t move and, crucially, couldn’t breathe. But there was also a measure of humour in the way Bane spoke to him, which made the readers feel there might be hope for him after all.  Suggestions: The story was well written and I didn’t notice any technical or other errors. To be fair, I wasn’t really looking because I was engrossed in the tale, but nothing jumped out at me, anyway. The only glaring issue with this tale is that it isn’t finished!  Final Thoughts: You said that you are planning for this to be a short story or perhaps a novel. I think it would be tricky to wrap this up in a short story, but it has the potential to be a novella or novel, depending on where you go with it. There are so many possibilities, and while I liked that the ‘tasks’ that Bane mentioned were a little vague at this point, I groaned when I got to the end and realised I wasn't going to find out. I hope that you continue this story - I would be happy to return to read a little more.
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You responded to this review 10/26/2025 @ 10:46pm EDT