Champions of the Astral Planes

Laura Meets Kain

“Laura!” said a muffled voice. “Open up! I come bearing fun times!”

Laura tossed the covers aside and tried to step out of bed. A thump later, and Laura was out of her bed, though not standing. “This is too damn early.” Fumbling her hand against the wall until she found a cord, Laura pulled it down, and winced at the bright light that penetrated her uncovered window. The sun shone through, as if to say “It's not early, so get your lazy ass up and moving.”

The voice came again, with equal parts anxiety and whine registering to Laura's ear. “Laura, hurry up and open the door. Your creepy neighbor is holding her creepy dog, and they're both staring at me! Yeah, you heard me. I said you and your dog are creepy!”

With a groan for both her friend's words and the now furious chorus of yips, Laura set about getting dressed. Still on her back, she squirmed herself into a pair of jeans covered in a rainbow of dried paint splotches, and a t-shirt in much the same condition. By the time she turned the doorknob, Mrs. Baderman's Shi-Tzu started growling at her friend.

The hinges on Laura's door are well oiled. So well oiled that the woman standing there, engrossed as she was in making faces at the little growling dog in the older woman's arm's, didn't realize it was open until she heard the tapping of a foot behind her. “Laura! About time you let me in. I almost thought she was gonna start growling at me too!”

“Quit egging her on Janet, and get in.” Laura said, stepping aside. “Lovely to see you today Mrs. Baderman. Say, have they fixed your broom yet? I haven't heard any cackling recently in the night sky.”

Mrs. Baderman, clothed in a lime green bathrobe and head covered in pink curlers, stood staring at Laura for a moment more before she slammed her door.

“I guess not.” Laura mumbled to herself before closing her door.

“You tell me to quit egging her on, and then you go and ask her that?” Janet dropped a large grocery bag on the kitchen table before opening the fridge.

“She's my neighbor, and I have to deal with her, so I'll piss her off as much as I want. But if you piss her off, then I still have to deal with her. I'll take the shit I deserve, but I won't take the shit you create. And I take it since you're helping yourself to my pop like you own the place, that you didn't bring me any coffee.”

“We drink enough of that slop at work.” Janet replied while popping the tab on a can. “Besides, I brought better drugs than caffeine. Take a look in the bag.”

Laura stood up on her tiptoes and with a finger pulled back on a side of the bag so she could peer inside. “Doritos?”

“Beneath the snacks dummy.”

Laura pulled out the bags of chips, and peered into the bag again. What she saw spread a grin across her face from ear to ear. “Ohhh baby. You know what I like! What kind did you bring over this time?”

“That new one that's been going around.”

“Catatonia? Bitch, are you serious?” Laura grabbed Janet by her shoulders. “Don't just smile and nod your head at me, I need to hear the words from your mouth. Are we about to smoke some Catatonia?”

“Girl, prepare your vaporizer for some Catatonia!”

“Awesome! I think I just might love you.” Laura stepped back to the counter and dumped out the plastic sandwich baggies and their green contents. A hard plastic case clattered on the granite counter top as well, which Laura snagged in her hand. “Hey, what's this CD here with the weed... waves of relaxation?”

“Yeah, you mind if we listen to that while we get high?”

“Are you gonna contort your legs and chant 'Ohm' between hits?”

“God no. You remember my cousin Sheila? She's big into some new age religion now, meditates all the time. Says it calms her down big time. She thinks it might be good for me.”

“In other words, she wouldn't shut up until you agreed to listen to it?”

“Exactly.” Janet tapped a finger to the side of her nose. “I love her like a sister, but if she gets an idea in her head, she can be one stubborn bitch.”

“Sure, I'm down for listening to something new. I'll pop it in the CD player while you grab my vaporizer.”

“Still behind the towels in the closet?”

“Of course.” Pressing the eject button on her stereo system, Laura asked “So how did you get a hold of this stuff? My dealer is always out.”

“You know that new club Emilio's, down on Eighth and Shawston? I met a guy there who has the hookup. A bit expensive, and the little shit tried to grope me, but the green is good. That self defense class I took last summer didn't hurt either.”

“Serious?” Laura pressed play and water lapped against a distant shore and chimes rang from the speakers. “I'd kick the ass of any guy that tried to grope me.”

“You'd kick his ass? You've got no meat on those bones, I don't think you could kick anyones ass.”

“I'd at least scratch him.” Laura held up a hand in front of her face to exhibit her nails, as if they were fearsome claws.

“Okay, I'll give you that. You do got some claws when you choose to use 'em.”

A bell dinged, and a man with a deep baritone voice spoke over the lapping of the waves. “Welcome, to waves of relaxation. For the next hour I will be your guide, through this journey, of tranquility. Make sure, you are seated in a comfortable position. A pillow, or other...”

“Might as well do as the man says while we wait for your vaporizer to heat up.”

“To the couch!”

“...a glass of water nearby for after...”

“So Sheila listens to this stuff all the time?”

“Yeah. At least she isn't turning into a bible thumper like her sister.”

“Does this new age religion of hers even have a bible?”

“Oh god, I hope I didn't speak too soon.” Janet briefly clapped her hand over her mouth before continuing. “If she discovers a new age bible, she might start preaching from it any day now!”

“... Take a deep breath in, then slowly let it out, along with...”

“Hey, I think we're in business. Would you like to do the honors?”

“Your place, your vap, first hits on you.”

“How uncharacteristically generous of you.”

“Fuck generous. I changed my mind, I'm taking the first hit.”

“Uh-uh.” Laura wagged her finger at Janet as she tried to snag the line from the vaporizer. “No backsies.” Pressing the button on the vaporizer, Laura sucked the air from the tube and the adjoining chamber of the vaporizer.

“So?” Janet knelt on the couch facing Laura and clasped her hands. “How is it?”

“Wow. These are some strong buds.”

“Righteous. My turn.” Not waiting for Laura to hand over the little plastic tubing, Janet swiped it out of her hand and put it to her mouth.

“... recognize how your legs feel, and your arms. Feel how the...”

Laura and Janet each took a few more hits from the vaporizer, before letting themselves settle back into the couch. “Wow Janet, I've never felt a couch lock like this before.”

“Yeah, it's awesome.”

A flute began to accompany the wind chimes as the voice continued to drone on from the speakers, raising and lowering in both pitch and volume. Laura realized for a moment that she wasn't hearing most of the words anymore, except for the occasional intrusions of the word soft.

What is supposed to be soft? The thought floated away along the music as soon as it came to her. Soft.

Her arms felt heavy. Soft.

A warmth spread throughout her legs. Soft.

“Who are you? How did you change my domain?”

The voice was so jarring after the melodic baritone from the stereo that Laura's eyes shot open, and what she saw caused her to gaze in astonishment at her apartment. Every surface was transformed, covered in a pearly white sheen. Every piece of furniture, every piece of electronic equipment, even every dirty dish, was pearly white.

All... except for the big armchair at the end of the couch, and the man who sat in it. About four inches off the floor, the remnants of Laura's armchair streaked into rich hues of walnut with carved gold inlays. Upon a deep violet cushion slouched a man who looked to be in his thirties, wearing a long black trench coat over a gleaming silver breastplate. If he'd been wearing a dress shirt and tie instead of the silver armor, she could imagine him being a business executive of some sort. An evil lawyer, but that thought flittered away like smoke from a snuffed candle. He kept rubbing his fingers together below the cleft of his jutting chin, and he glared at Laura from beneath narrowed eyebrows.

“Who are you? Speak dammit!” He slammed his hand on the armrest. The echo of his hand, as if they were in a huge chamber, removed Laura from the shock that paralyzed her.

“I'm... I'm Laura. What happened to my apartment, and who do you think you are!?!”

“Who do I think I am?” The man sat up from his slouch, and stared at Laura with an intensity that sent chills up her spine. “I am Kain. And look around girl, this is not your apartment!”

“Yes it is! Everything is really white, and you've done something weird to my chair, but this is my apartment!” Laura blinked. In that flash of a moment while she blinked, Kain was on his feet and across the room, a mere step away from her. Reaching beneath his coat he slid a sword free of a scabbard with a scraping of metal and placed the tip of the blade under her chin. Laura's eyes widened at the touch of cold steel to her throat, and she began to shake.

“You really have no idea what you've done, or where you are, do you? No, don't answer me. I can see it for myself. Anyone who could have willfully broken my barriers wouldn't have let me place my blade where it is.” Kain lowered the tip of his sword, but didn't sheath it yet. “Go ahead and turn around, look out this window of yours.”

Laura did as she was told, repressing the urge to shudder, and turned to look out the window behind her couch. Beyond the glass was not Lexington St. where she lived, but a room with staircases and archways at all manner of odd angles. A stairway led out of a hole in a wall up into the ceiling, so that anyone who walked on the staircase would fall off to the floor. Several more staircases led to other doorways and platforms in impossible positions.

“What- What the hell?” is all Laura could think of to say.

“Yes, this is the bulk of my domain.” Kain whispered, his breath tingling against her ear. “And you created a little replica of your pathetic apartment around me and my throne.”

“I... I created? But why's everything lost its color?” Whirling back to face Kain, Laura thought she caught a glimpse of some small animal scurrying behind a kitchen counter.

“You brought along the shapes of your surroundings, but nothing else. The form of my domain is easy enough to manipulate, for myself and those along the same wavelength as me. Color is part of the depth of each object, and takes more concentration. Tell me, what were you doing before you came here?”

“I... I was listening to this meditation CD, and... and getting high. Oh wow, that Catatonia must be beyond powerful for me to create you. Unless theres shrooms or something extra in that bud. I'm just having an amazing trip!”

“Ha ha! You, create me? Don't make me laugh girl.”

“You're just a product of my subconscious, so quit laughing at me bub!” Catching another glimpse of the scurrying creature in the kitchen, Laura pointed toward it. “What's that thing that keeps peeking out from behind the counters. Is it some kind of bird with those wings?”

“Never you mind what's over there.” Kain said, all mirth vanished from his face. Sheathing his sword, he shoved Laura back down onto the couch and threw off his coat.

“Hey, don't push me around like that.” Laura said, beginning to stand again. Kain shoved her back onto the couch again, and moved to stand right in front of her.

“You're in my domain, and I set the rules here.” As Kain stood before her, wings spread out from his back. Glorious white wings with purple feathers like contrasting polka dots across the twelve foot span. Kain held a hand out and a flame burst to life within his palm.

“We will speak again very soon Laura. But for now, you must WAKE UP!” As he yelled the last, he thrust the fireball into her chest. Laura screamed with the agony of the burning as it engulfed her chest, spreading like poison into her veins. She brought her hands in front of her to remove the arm that was thrusting her up and back. And then the burning was gone, replaced with a pins and needles numbness .

Laura opened first one eye, and then the other. She was no longer in some dream realm, but back in her apartment, vibrant and full of color.

Janet was also there, eyes glazed over and slouching into the other side of the couch, covered in crumbs and chips. The bag of Doritos she brought over was split down the middle and lay empty at her feet. Even as crumbs flowed out the side of her mouth, Janet shoved more chips from the pile on top of her in. “Whoa. Wha kinna shrip are oo on?” Janet didn't wait for an answer, instead choosing to stare at one chip with a quiet intensity, before erupting in a fit of giggles.