Eat the Tofu!

The Writer's Cramp - 7/26/25 - W/C 529

Eat the Tofu!


“What is this?” Steve pushed a white cube picked from the mixed greens across his plate.

“A kale salad. The kale is from our garden. And fresh beets, also from our garden. Oh, and the first tomato.”

“Let me guess, also from our garden.”

Julie smiled as she ate her salad.

“Okay… But what is THIS?” Steve’s fork held a white cube. He waved it in front of Julie.

“What? That?”

“Yes - this!” Steve gingerly pushed the white cube with his finger from the fork into Julie’s salad.

“Tofu. Try it. It’s soy protein. It’s good for you.”

“Right. You go first.” Steve watched as Julie ate the white cube.

“See? No problem. You know, people in Asia have eaten tofu for centuries. It’s a good source of protein. And with the price of meat now, well, I thought we’d try something a bit cheaper.”

Steve ate his salad, minus the white cubes, half listening to Julie.

“Tofu making was first recorded during the Chinese Han dynasty in 965 AD. Chinese legend ascribes its invention to Prince Liu An, of the Anhui province. Tofu and its production technique were introduced to Japan during the Nara period, 710 to 794 AD…”

When he awoke, Julie was gone but his plate was now covered with white cubes. A man dressed in Chinese garb stood nearby.

“Why don’t you eat the meal your kind wife fixed for you?”

Steve shook his head, glanced at the man in front of him, at the clock on the wall, at the food on his plate.

“Well, mister, it’s like this. I don’t know what this junk is. You see, I like to eat meat. You know, beef, chicken, pork, something like that. I don’t think I’ll like this.”

The man dressed in Chinese garb moved closer.

“Do you think 2,000 years of Chinese tradition has made people weak? Do you think this food will make you sick?”

“Well, um. I don’t know.”

The man dressed in Chinese garb now stood beside Steve. The man dressed in Chinese garb drew his sword.

“Eat the tofu,” the man dressed in Chinese garb stated.

Steve woke to Julie speaking.

“Did you hear what I said? Tofu has a long history. It is bland but takes on flavors of whatever you cook it with. You really should give it a try before you discount it.”

Steve blinked a few times, looked around. “Did you see anyone else in the room just now?”

Julie rubbed Steve’s hand and put his fork back on the table. “No dear, no one but me. I think you were daydreaming for a few seconds.”

Steve shuddered, looked at his plate. It was now full of white cubes. “One, I’ll try one.” One cube on his fork slowly entered his mouth. Then another. Soon the plate was empty.

“There you go. Was that so bad?” Julie smiled as she took the dishes to the sink.

Steve spit tofu into his napkin, then faked a smile. “Oh, no, not too bad.” But he thought, ‘pure unadulterated poison. I’m surely going to die.’

“Good deal. Because for supper we’re having tofu cashew patties with berry tofu smoothies.”

W/C 529