Family Line

Short draft (TW: Abuse and mentions of suicide)

I had grown up being the youngest, I was used to following in my older brothers footsteps. I normally looked up to him for comfort and as my protector, but as we got older I learned I had to protect myself from him. I still remember when I used to sneak into your room to play with your ninja turtle toy set. I was always upset when you had to leave for school. How you'd always make sure to include me when you'd hang out with your friends.

Yet it all changed as we got older, when we both started going to the same school. When you kept picking on me and my entire friend group, normally shoving me around acting like I meant nothing. Always calling me the golden child cause you were always in trouble and I wasn't. Then bitching when you got your phone taken away for doing stupid things, all just to flip out and end up on top of mom strangling her from anger? It's a traumatizing sight for a fourteen year old to see walking out of their room, just to have to end up fighting you off her.

That night I had fully stopped caring for my own safety, only making sure our mother had gotten to her room to call the cops while we fought. It's strange what adrenaline can do to someone, I felt nothing in that moment just fight back and make sure she was safe. Just to watch you run away fearfully after being told the police were arriving, not even caring you had dislocated your own bloods shoulder and almost murdered your own mother? Just to come back like you own the place after being in Juvie for a month? Even with our mother begging them not to send you back.

All for you to harass us out of the house almost every morning? Though with you being on house arrest we had no choice but to leave. The night I had "angered" you so badly just by changing the TV channel you tried slitting my throat? I honestly still think you did it just to boast to everyone in juvie, to think you were the coolest person for hurting your own blood. Though all of the abuse we still forgave you, blaming it on all the abuse you had gone through from our birth dad.

Though even when you had run away to go live with our birth dad we still welcomed you back with open arms. Not caring how bad you had hurt us before, had bad you were still hurting us. All to be told I was just like our mother, too stupid, too caring while you ran off the very last time. Refusing to even pick up your phone or even contact us. Leaving us to find out you had tried killing yourself on my birthday just like our birth dad did two years eariler. It made me feel cursed, like I was the one in the wrong when I hadn't even done anything. When I was still trying to keep contact you didn't want. Like it was all my fault when I was just a child myself.