The Untruth

Writing from Trauma

The Untruth
As I read a portion of the book " Happening," I found it very interesting that the writer could remember so many vivid details about her surroundings following a traumatic event. I likened the smile she described to at least a half dozen smiles that I saw as I was greeting family members at the hospital. Family members that I had not seen in a long time. Earlier that day, about 4:50 pm, I received a phone call as I parked my Ford in the parking lot of my last client for the day. The message was so “matter of fact,” that it couldn’t be true. I hung up immediately and grabbed my briefcase to verify the address and continue with my appointment. After, all I should be done in 30 minutes and I can call my niece back to find out why she would say such a thing. She had always been very boisterous and cocky in her messaging and quite often she had to be put in her place. I walked up two steps to a red brick home and as I approached the door and rang the door bell, and I looked down at my phone. I turned off the sound as I always did before I entered a clients home. In that short span of time from the car to the doo , approximately, 5 feet, I noticed several text messages to call from my husband and my son. The clients opened the door and smiled as they invited me in. I knew that I was on time and I remember how happy they appeared in the doorway so I continued. I looked down at my phone again, as I heard it buzzing and Syreeta’s words came storming back. I don’t what the expression was on my face but I could tell that the demeanor of the client’s had changed. They were asking me something and all I could say was “ I’m sorry, I apologize, my husband has been calling me, something has happened to my mom. I apologize, I thought I could continue but they keep calling. I’ll call the office and make sure someone replaces me. I’m so sorry… I continued. The couple were very understanding. I called the office and told them what was happening and they told me to leave and allow them to speak with the clients. As I approached the car, I realized that I was sobbing, I called my husband and he said, come home now, we have to get to the hospital, Bon Secours. I knew exactly where that was, it was in West Baltimore. Let’s go. He said, John has already left and most of the family was already there. I don’t remember if a song was playing on the radio or if I heard a news report. All I could remember was, I knew the way to the hospital because my sister had a stay there for about three days. I thought about mom, and although she had high blood pressure and type II diabetes, she had never been in a the hospital. Well with the exception and bringing six children into the world, she had never been hospitalized. She would have to do better, maybe now I can convince her to move in with me, away from the City. She had raised three generations, and she deserved to take some time for herself now. She would love Bowie State University and she would meet other seniors that are continuing to thrive. Although she liked the idea, I could never convince her because her family needed her. She will give me a chance this time, I will get everyone to help support the change now that she had to be hospitalized. I spotted the brick building and the lit sign Bon Secours Hospital came into clear view. We pulled into the parking lot and into a slot with no problem. It was dark outside, about 6:30pm when we arrived. We walked through the electronic emergency room doors and upon arriving at the nurses station, I saw a lot of familiar faces. Zelda, my eldest and tallest niece was holding her son. Her twin sisters, Stacy and Tracy were standing next to her. As I began to smile and greet them, we were approached by a nurse who told us to hurry to the room with all since of urgency;” while she were still warm.” There’s, Nonie, Teresa,Juanita, and Eddie, I said as I made my way to say hello, knowing that they would give mom another blanket. It was so nice to see everyone, I smiled and waved as it appeared that I was going around in a circle. Everyone was here, everyone came to see Mama. She will be fine. I heard it, I heard the loud scream, the loud shriek, I felt someone on either side of me as I felt dizzy then. Mama, Mama!, Mama! Mama! She lay there still. Mama! Mama! Syreeta can be right, she always tells untruths. Mama! Mama! I tried to advance towards her and they squeezed me so tight and held me, but I could touch her face. She won’t say anything, she won’t look at me. She’s still warm! Where are those blankets! Someone said, We have to take her now, she is an organ donor. NO! NO! Mommie!! Mommie!! Mommie!!!