Damned by Socialization

We are taught to be there for others.... but not ourselves.

Girls are raised to tow the line. Do as they are told and don't stir up trouble. Keep your mouth shut and your head down. No one wants to hear from you and what you have to say doesn't much matter.... because you're only a girl. Many of my friends got the same message. It was never explicitly said, but it was communicated in the lines of body language and facial expressions of displeasure whenever you stepped up to or over the line.

One of my friends got this message in such a way that she downplayed herself and protected her younger brother. She was not allowed out beyond the house lights after dark and was required to call when it was time to come home from a babysitting job down the street so that her Dad could walk down and get her. Her younger brother could be out long after sundown. Talk about a double standard.
Her self esteem was so low it seemed non-existent.

They did not see her as being responsible and able to protect herself. They saw the world as out to get her and so they 'protected' her. But all she learned from that was to rebel and not tell her parents when she was in over her head.

To this day, my friend tries to handle things all on her own. Her low self esteem and need to save others has made her a victim of a narcissist who she eventually married. We saw the red flags. She believed she could save him.

Now she lives with boys that bleed her dry. He and her two sons inflict verbal and emotional abuse that wrecks havoc on her sanity. She refuses to separate her sons from his influence and destruction.

She doesn’t see that her sons will continue this behaviour into their own relationships and I pray they will remain single so that other young girls are not inflicted with this horrendous male need to be supreme.

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