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Fri, May 23, 2025

6:47am EDT

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Le Voyage Magnifique

by Dave

Rated: 18+ · Book · Writing · #1236257

A log of the magnificent journey across the vast sea of my imagination.

A sig awarded for winning "The Anything Goes Poetry Contest"

A log of our magnificent journey.

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

Soldier_Mike

Apr 18, 2025 at 11:44pm
In response to "Military "Brat""

All four of my daughters were vets from the moment of birth. They were all born while I was on Active Duty, were born in Army hospitals, and bounced back and forth between the U.S. and West Germany with their mom and me (the eldest ones more than once).

1 Like

Dave

Sep 18, 2024 at 2:09pm
In response to "The Call"

Yes, a blending of recent newscasts inspired this one.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Sep 17, 2024 at 2:22pm
In response to "The Call"

Ouch. Too real for me today. I was homeless years ago and Montana has a high vet population struggling with personal issues. This literally could be today's headlines here.

1 Like

AnotherDreamer

Aug 26, 2024 at 3:19pm
In response to "Smorgasbord"

Thank you for reminding me. I can almost taste the salt in the air from here

1 Like

StephBee

Jun 4, 2024 at 6:51pm
In response to "Military Mom"

My comment is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem is a nice tribute to a military mother.

WHAT I LIKED

I can totally relate to this poem having served in the military myself. There are often times one worries and finds things to pass the time, but their loved one is never far from their hearts.

STRUCTURE

This is a villanelle. A villanelle is a highly structured poem with 5 tercets and ends with a quatrain. There are 2 repeating rythmes and 2 repeating refrains. The poem followed the structure. I thought the repeating refrains were very respectful and reverent. There's a nice rythme and flow when spoken outloud.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase font and make easier to read on the website.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: With steadfast devotion, she prays to relieve the anxiety" The description draws up a visual of a mother, prayerful, with a holy book, or a passage, heart on their sleeve, looking to find peace. It's a great description and taps into somber emotion well.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The title is a nice fit for the poem. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

[Visit the entry for more...]

StephBee

Dec 7, 2023 at 9:47pm
In response to "Thanksgiving Restoration"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

Inspired by a quote from Henry van Dyke, the progresses from feeling, to expression to action inspired by a thanksgiving gathering.

WHAT I LIKED

I like how each stanza started with "I'm thankful for..." The repetition was as soothing as the sentiments expressed.

STRUCTURE

As per the notes, this is loosely based on a monchielle styled poem.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "the smell of Grammy's turkey dressing,"

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem progresses much like van Dyke's quote, from feeling to expression to action/being in the moment of a thanksgiving gathering.

[Visit the entry for more...]

Kåre เลียม Enga

Oct 30, 2023 at 1:36am
In response to "A Halloween Celebration"

Nice rhythm and alliteration! The rhymes work as well. Edit and versify and voila... you have a free-verse poem (or a prose poem) for Shadows & Light.

My dreamy brain... ghoulish? dark? My nightmares are definitely disturbing and don't always dissipate with daylight.

Needless to say, I like it.

Kåre เลียม Enga

May 19, 2023 at 9:25am
In response to "Poppies"

I do like it. The rhythm is nice. I appreciate bravery/Normandy/memory.

"because" doesn't work for me. No suggestions though.

1 Like

StephBee

Jan 5, 2023 at 5:40pm
In response to "SILENT NIGHT"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM
A poem about the nature of the Christmas season.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the acrostic of "silent night" painted the beauty of winter.

STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to make the poem easy to read. Good use of WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. Nice word play. You can feel the weather nipping at your cheeks. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

** Animated Images For Use By Premium+ Only **

Dave

Jan 3, 2023 at 8:32am
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I am glad you posted this on the forum so everyone else can enjoy it.

1 Like

December 31, 2021 at 2:15pm

#1023916

Celebration!

Our little princess,
in her Tinker Bell costume,
joins the Unicorn
on parade for all to see,
celebrating Dogbert Day
within the confines
of our imagination.
Shout Hallelujah!

Notes on the Oriental Octet form of poetry ▼

Dogbert Day: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0974084/ .

Comment

December 25, 2021 at 3:41pm

#1023659

My Bicycle Renaissance

I am the love in a devoted dad’s heart
as he firmly reclaims my rusty frame
from a pile of abandoned junk and starts
to remove all the grime and greasy gunk
before earnestly refurbishing by hand.

Amidst the vapors of turpentine and oil,
he toils with paint scraper and sandpaper.
He’s softly humming a hymn as he straightens
my bent fender and tightens loose spokes with his wrench.
Then a coat of powder blue paint with black trim,
chrome handlebars, a well-oiled chain, and pristine tires
render my splendor as good as new.

I’m the light in a child’s eye on Christmas morn
seeing me adorned with a big red ribbon
beside the tree with its dazzling light display
twinkling brightly and fresh-cut pine fragrance.

I am the joy in that child’s voice at my response
to his first push against the pedal blocks under
the steadying grasp of his trusted dad,
oblivious to the snow and icicles
on the old oaks hanging over the country lane,
putting the crowning touch on my resplendent
bicycle renaissance.

Comment

December 11, 2021 at 1:42pm

#1023084

We Must Remember

Eighty years ago, we took a mighty blow
which struck our nation to its very core.
We must remember that dark December
and what the enemy had in store.

The evil they revealed against our shield
awakened sleeping giant with its roar.
Their sneak attack brought a lot of flack
when Yamamoto's fleet sailed from distant shore.

Unfortunately, freedom is not free.
We paid a heavy price in that war.
We must remember that dark December
and what the enemy had in store.

Notes ▼

Comment

December 7, 2021 at 4:56pm

#1022934

The Greatest Gift

The sounds of Christmas are in the air,
bringing back memories of when we were young
and could not wait for old Saint Nick.

Tree was cut and decorated with great flair.
With carols on the radio, stockings were hung.
Then, we hid and waited for midnight tick.

Receiving gifts was nice, but today I say
the greatest gift of all: one more day.

Comment

December 7, 2021 at 2:16pm

#1022930

Therapy

Alas! The days are shrinking
and glass of sunlight needs refill.
Morass of darkness starts me thinking
of passive mood brought by winter chill.

What better time to sit and write?
Forget the outside misery
and let imagination incite
poetic wandering therapy.

Prompt: "Alas!" from The Collected Tales and Poems of Edgar Allan Poe, page 617

Comment

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