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So this is the Graham Badge:

Merit Badge in Graham Guinea Pig [Click For More Info] Congratulations on your new merit badge! Thank you for supporting the Writing.Com community with your inspirations, participation and activities. We sincerely appreciate it! -SMs

Who wants one?

A free merit badge is yours for the asking, and in return all I ask is: Can you think of a guinea pig appropriate one liner?

"Read 'em and Gweep!" - that sort of thing.

Have a go, I could really do with a chuckle.

Can't think of one? Send me an email and ask for a free Graham Merit Badge anyway!

Please note there are three guinea pigs - in time there could well be three Guinea Pig merit badges - surely you'll want to have the whole set?
  •   36 comments
Angel bunny Easter eggs galore Author Icon - Derg gives his regards
All fur one and one fur GWEEP!
I'd love a badge please Gweep!
• Edited
prior to watching this, I had not previously thought of S 🤦 Author Icon as a cat. Now I am not so sure.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ERspXhC7vD8
  •   2 comments
Remember, the actual lore from the creators is 'Hello Kitty' is not a cat, but a little girl who just happens to look like a cat. And her boyfriend is a cat who just happens to dress in human clothes. And they have been around for 50 years, so you know some inter-species...

I just made myself throw up in my mouth a little...

No, that just proves everyone hates penguins (and rightfully so).
‘One must never miss an opportunity of quoting things by others which are always more interesting than those one thinks up oneself’

- Marcel Proust
  •   8 comments
I hate quotation. Tell me what you know.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
Journals (May 1849)

Often misquoted as "I hate quotations..." or put in with "Next to the originator of a good sentence is the first quoter of it." because Hoyt did that in his 1922 book of practical quotations. Hoyt was a jerk.
Did you just insult yourself? *Smile*
S 🤦 Author Icon - The ultimate quote, quoting someone about hating quotes.
"Is that your melon?" The shopkeeper asked.

I thought that I detected something of a challenge in his enquiry.

"It may be." I admit my reply was perhaps a little guarded, maybe even a tad evasive, but then one must exercise considerable caution in one's dealings with those of the mercantile classes, lest one find oneself considerable out of pocket.

"It isn't a matter that lends itself to ambiguity, it either is or isn't your melon. Which is it?"

He was, I could tell, becoming increasingly irate.

"May I ask the purpose of your so asking?"

"It's been bothering my cantaloupes. And it's been making my greengages distinctly nervous."

I stared at the melon, which for it's part contrived to express contrition or even I dare say remorse.

'I am so very sorry', it seemed to say, 'but I simply couldn't help myself. I honestly only came in to look at the brassicas.'

The shopkeeper sold me three of the cantaloupes and a large bag of greengages. I very nearly had to buy a pineapple as well, and only my swift exit prevented me from doing so.

As we walked back down to the river, and the boat, I reflected that it was just as well that Toby, Graham and myself all love fresh cantaloupe. Toby could be guaranteed to find room for one or two greengages, and I'd get them both to spring a shilling towards my unforeseen purchases.

The melon I decided would have to be leashed in future.

That was an extract from our forthcoming BBC None adaptation of Ralph GP Guinea Pig's 'Three Guinea Pigs on a Boat Not to mention the Massive Melon' by Angus Brosnigag. Just part of our sparkling Summer line up at BBC None.
  •   6 comments
That's why I tend to be wary in the fresh produce section, and I'm happy to say, no one ever asked me in the deli, "Is that your meat?"
I loved the BBC adaptation of 3 Men... and it made me seek out the books (this was years ago). British humour is still often the best humour.

And yet USians think Adam Sandler is funny {*sigh!*).
S 🤦 Author Icon - British humour is THE best humour.
"Waiter, there is a fly in my soup."

"I do apologise Sir, I was wondering where I'd left my trousers."
  •   8 comments
TheBusmanPoet Author Icon - no, it's not corny, it's soupy.
The patron asked the waiter to come over.
There is a fly in my soup.
The waiter says, keep it down, or everyone else will want some too. 🥴
Thats the silliest thing I've heard in a long time! Thanks for the laugh. *Laugh*
• Edited
Cat [Mr. Tiddles] (The Importance of Being Ernest Blowpipe): So Mr. Blond, we meet again.

GUINEA PIG TWO (Toby): Erm! No, I don't think so.

Blowpipe: !!!

Director (Off): Toby, Sweetie! We aren't filming the scenes in order. This scene is just being filmed before the one where you actually meet. Okay. Go again everyone.

Blowpipe: So Mr. Blond, we meet again.

Toby: Oh yes, I remember. We met at eight.

Blowpipe: We met at nine.

Toby: You were late.

Blowpipe (Indignant): I was ON TIME!

Toby: Ah yes, I remember it well.

GUINEA PIG THREE (Graham): Oh good gweep!
  •   3 comments
Nice how you rhymed as if no one would notice. The Shadowed noticed.
Thanks for the laugh.
• Edited
Could it be that a merit badge giveaway is in the offing folks? Who would like a free Graham the Guinea Pig badge? What hoops will you have to jump through to get one? Why is his lettuce straightened and not curled? Why so many questions? Where is all this leading? Soon all will be revealed to be clear as mud!
  •   8 comments
N.A Miller Author Icon - Way back in the day, Christians appropriated loads of pagan holidays and rituals, etc. That is why these crossover traditions are so prevalent. Let people have their fun with rabbits and eggs and the rest of the silliness. There are much more dark and harmful things that could be disrespectful to Christianity than that.

Besides, this wasn't meant to be a religious discussion but a light bit of fun. My apologies for bringing more darkness to it. You may return to your discussion of merit badges and guinea pigs.
🐕GeminiGem🎁 Author Icon - and all I say to that is... GWEEP!
N.A Miller Author Icon - Just to set the record straight, Good Friday is when Jesus was crucified and Easter is when he was resurrected.
So, to be clear the Merit Badge giveaway isn't to do with Easter, or eggs. On the new badge I shall be giving away soon, Graham is portraying James Blond, and sporting a very natty tuxedo I may add. So the giveaway might have something to do with a certain spy's reputation for one liners... Straighted not curled!
  •   6 comments
I eagerly look forward for the surprise..
As Graham James Bond would say, "Shocking. Positively shocking."
Who doesn't love spy puns?! *Laugh*
How could you do that?

I mean. come on people.

You've voted him in before.

Knowing what you knew, you actually voted him in again???

Seriously.

Now he's free to mumble strange sentences,

indulge in odd imaginings

expand his already grossly inflated ego.

How could you do it folks? How?

Ahem.

Thank you for voting me Best Newsfeed Contributor... again!
  •   3 comments
Aww, shucks. I thought you were talking about *Monster7* for a sec *Laugh*

Whatever you get, you fully deserve, old pal *Hug1**Smile**Hug2*
As long as you don't adopt some strange egomanic (if that isn't a word, it should be) sidekick, I will admit (quietly) that I was confused, dazzled, and under the impression that I was voting for guinea pig civil rights.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Congratulations!
Pip, pip, hooray! Well deserved old boy.
I'm sure that S 🤦 Author Icon will have no difficulty in believing this story from BBC News

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cn5xx036p4vo
  •   6 comments
(There is a reason for taxing uninhabited islands, if anyone is interested.)

I still say penguins are adorable! *Heart* *Penguin* *Heart* And if they'd taxed my cat's poop growing up, maybe mom wouldn't have made me clean out the litterbox. lol
Schnujo's Giving Away GPs Author Icon - I understand that if it's a territory, it would be included as a formality... Got a mini lecture for us? I'm all ears *Delight*
I read an article about it, Amethyst Angel 💐 Author Icon. It's more about liars saying they caught fish from areas that aren't taxed when the fish really came from countries that are. That's the bare basics of it. There was more to it, but you get the point. It wasn't simply as crazy as it first sounds. Like most things, if you dig deeply enough, there's a reason. You may not agree with it, but people typically act/react for a reason.

The Falkland Islands had some similar issues with people trying to dodge purchasing a commercial fishing license by fishing along the boundaries, but when the fish were inside the boundary, they'd go in, hoping not to get caught. Commercial fishing licenses are the #1 income source for the Falklands, so they take that very seriously. But it's impossible for such a tiny country to police such a huge territory.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!


 
IN & OUT
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2024 Quill Award Winners!
#2338159 by Lilli ☕ VACAY! back on 4/29 Author IconMail Icon
  •   1 comment
Thank you 😊
Just dropping by to say hi!
Don't be greedy this Easter, just get one egg, a French one... I think you'll find it's un oeuf.
  •   2 comments
Omelette this one slide, though it's a terrible yolk.
You guys...*Facepalm*
I've been studying hard, cramming even, all towards my final genetic engineering exam....

I just passed with flying koalas.

(Stolen from my favourite blog - it was too good to resist.)
  •   8 comments
I DNA what to say.
To be completely honest, koalas are perpetually stoned and probably couldn't be bothered flying even if they had the ability.
Adherennium - congratulations on passing! What are you going to do with your new koalafication?
• Edited
The Budleigh and Salterton Cruet: Rumours are abounding that another merit badge may have been commissioned by the highly secretive organisation that does things like that sometimes. Hopes are high that the latest badge, said to be strongly related to the Mississippi Organisation's reboot of the James Blond frank size, will be ready in time for another merit badge giveaway. Graham was rumoured to have responded to questions with a characteristic "Gweep!"
  •   2 comments
I suppose it was either "Gweep" or NCND. (neither confirm nor deny these allegations)
A guinea pig must have so many words rattling around and often just one manages to burst forth.
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