Made me feel the winter but not miss it. I liked it, not always a fan of snow but it is better than roasting like we are now. You did a good job painting a picture.
I think you hit the nail right on the head with this. I wish it were that easy and people would actually consider what you are saying, but if more people did, maybe more relationships would last, and not everyone would feel disposable. I hate that thought of that feeling. (Stay single....love it) Great poem. Write on!
This definitely speaks of family, memories and missing them. I could tell you were explaining an important event that meant something to you. I also totally get the not realizing how much you miss someone until they are standing right there. You don't get the gravity of their place in your life until you realize how much you missed them while they weren't around. Write on!
I am not usually into this type of poetry. Not that there is anything wrong with it I am just not a love or sexy poem type person. I am however glad I ran across this one because it was executed perfectly and I could get the feel of it without feel pervy or anything. Great word choice and comparisons. I could see myself watching it as a movie. I also like how you describe her to be a dom without actually saying it. Great read, I will look you up for some more! Thanks!
Great poem. I had a beautiful picture in my head from your description and was seeing what you were trying to portray. Nothing wrong with loving the beauty that you saw. I would love to see the lights myself so I am jealous! Thank you for you picture!
Good read. Good word choice. Pretty much straight to the point but worth the read. Should be kind of obvious, yet it took a poem to bring it to thought again. Made me think more about it anyway. Hope you get other thinkers your way.
Seems like you already know the older you get the faster time goes. There is no way to slow time down but you can try to document as much as possible so you remember when you get older. It is kind of scary when you finally do realize now you are responsible for everything in your life and it is not only overwhelming but it is yours for the taking. I can understand where your head was at when you wrote this.
This sounds like it obviously comes from personal experience and actual feeling. My favorite line is ....even with a bullhorn, you could not reach her. I love that, it shows that it is like going up against a brick wall, and nothing you say or do is going to change anything. I am curious, what other advice do you have, being so wise? i would love to know. {e:
I like this poem. It has a nice flow, it did a sing song in my head while I read it. I like where you went with it. Short but sweet. Nice rhyme scheme. Great poem and good job!
I loved this poem. I like a piece that makes me feel something and this did for sure. I love the way you put your words together....my favorite line is "Like crumbs could carry weight" that really gave me a feeling. Totally shows you were in a love that wasn't good enough for you. Great job!
Another one I can picture in my head like I was right there with you. A beautiful place it must be. The peacefulness, the quiet, and stillness of watching the deer eat. It seems like a picture-perfect moment.
Loved this. I love a little dog that thinks they are a big dog and the taking a stance because that is his home. I would have taken the dog in and locked the door but you went right after that coyote! It is lucky it tucked tail and ran. Great story, had me on that porch at dusk watching you stare down a coyote!
WOW! I loved this story and I am not usually a prose or short story fan because I really like the depth of a good book but this was different. When you made the colors almost as humans with emotions, depth, character and thoughts. I gave me chills as I read it and how in the end they all work together to bring the prettiest of an image possible. I had a great picture in my head of these colors working as a team and each one doing their part to make the scenery. It is a great story and I can see why you won. Great job! Looking to see more like this!!! Write on my dear friend!
I like this. You nailed it, just because you walk away from something doesn't mean it is going to be easy or the pain isn't going to go away. I felt it. Good job. it made me reflect on parts of my life that I should have a long time ago.
Great piece, loved the wording and got your frustration. I like the last stanza the line "I'm just a thorn between the roses." That just brought it home. Love it! Awesome job! It was a good 8 lines! I am glad you brought it to the front so I could read it. I look forward to reading more of your work.
I felt like I was there. That is so cool how you met Shelley, what a story to live on. Both of you helping in a natural disaster and facing the storm and all its damage. I can see now how you have lasted so long, you had a great start. Tell her I said hi, and I appreciate her lending you to give advice to a lowly writer hoping to make it somewhere someday!
I loved this. I feel like I know parts of you better now. I at least understand some of the things you are going through. I get it, and I am the same way. I feel that no matter what I have gone through in my tough life I am blessed because I am still here kicking it and can have a voice and write. I hope that I can write until I die because I don't feel like this is ever going to go away and I love that.
I wanted to read both parts before I reviewed either poem and I love them both. It isn't easy to be that poetry girl. I have been different since grade school because I started writing in fourth grade and had a passion for it already and have been trying to grow, better my methods and try new types of poetry that I haven't before. This site is great because it was the only way I have been able to get my stuff out there without feeling as vulnerable as I used to think I would. I made the big jump last week and posted something for the first time in my life, but it felt so great, and I have had such great feedback, I am loving being that poetry girl now, because now it isn't so dorky to be smart and know words. Great job!
This is a great piece, that would be great to put in a devotion or a church newsletter to get it out. There are also Christian magazines and devotional books. You are really good and I can tell you have a great Faith like myself. I enjoyed the poem and think you could probably go further with it. I am looking forward to looking at your portfolio and reading some more of your stuff.
So, I felt this while I read it. I have been there I liked it. I like your words and that you know how to use them. I don't usually read a lot of modern poetry because I don't enjoy it but I do like this. I am starting to enjoy reading it more now. Good piece.
I had a picture in my head of what your words built. I read it several times and enjoyed it so much. I am not usually a fan of this type of poetry, but you have changed my mind. Thank you. You don't have to use many words to create something beyond the words themselves. Great poem.
At first, I was unsure how to take it, but once I got into it, I loved it, and it flowed. I love that you thought of this and it turned out so well. I had to become a fan because I really did love this piece. Great job! I am looking forward to reading more of your writing.
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