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1,519 Public Reviews Given
1,520 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I have a review template that is only used for in depth reviews, usually those that are specifically requested. These will be as comprehensive as I can manage, including everything I have noticed in reading the piece. Most of my reviews, however, are more in the nature of reactions to the piece with brief notes on things I find particularly good and suggestions on dealing with any obvious flaws in the writing.
I'm good at...
Reviews of stuff I particularly like. If I think the writing is good and the ideas original and inventive, I will say so and become enthusiastic about it. I will point out flaws, particularly where I feel that they interfere with a positive reaction to the piece, but I will also offer suggestions for fixing such problems.
Favorite Genres
I have a broad spectrum of genres I'll review. It's easier for me to list the genres I won't touch.
Least Favorite Genres
Romance, erotica, overly dark subjects without a good reason for existence.
Favorite Item Types
I'm unsure what is meant by this - I would have thought the genres sections covered this.
Least Favorite Item Types
See previous section.
I will not review...
Again, see the genres section that lists the genres I won't review.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of Reversion  Open in new Window.
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Ah, so mermen are sorta the opposite of mermaids - sirens of the sea too, but in an entirely different way. I like it, particularly because it was so unexpected. Both the fact that Caleb was a merman and that he should so easily be diverted in the end.

I was getting ready to ask where Caleb had been (on the yacht or in a nearby boat?) when he saw Selene fall into the ocean, and then you unveil his merman identity. So that quibble disappeared. And then, at the end, I had time for only a suspicion to germinate before that final revelation of the fickleness of mermen was revealed. I saw the end coming up and had to wonder how you were going to tie it all up quickly enough.

And you did. Very neatly, so that suspicion and revelation came at almost the same moment. It is, in the end, a very well managed tale, sure in its inventiveness and execution. So I'm left with nothing to suggest as an improvement and can only applaud so enjoyable a tale. Wonderful stuff.


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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023 and 2024
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2
2
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Excellent. The style of a former age is flawlessly reproduced and applied appropriately to a tale of deep horror. Everything about this piece is so well done that I can only express my admiration. If only you had failed somewhere, in some small and unimportant matter, I could have filled out this review with pompous and self righteous advice on correcting the slight fault. But no, I am forced to be honest and applaud the talent and hard work that produced this astoundingly good offering.

It's a brave thing to do, to mimic the style of an era that has passed. To pull it off, there must be no mistakes in language and grammar - they were so much better educated than we are that even a typo would cry aloud that this is mere pretending to the stature of those on whose shoulders we stand upon. And then there is that long windedness that their times so preferred. Here it is delightfully imitated - so well as to seem the real thing. I love the way you have expressed the story in so roundabout a way, with vivid and extended descriptions, metaphors, and similes, exactly as the best writers of the time were wont to do.

When I like a piece that I'm reviewing, I usually say that I enjoyed it, but that is not sufficient here. I more than enjoyed it, I loved it. I am in awe of your talent and almost tempted to spend the rest of the day reading my way through your portfolio. "Almost," because I have too much to do already and have promised myself to attempt it all. But, if I get a moment...


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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023 and 2024
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3
3
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Well, well, well, a moral tale. The moral being that the lie will always be found out. In this case, that's arguable, since both interested parties agreed on the matter, but to everyone else it's a lie nevertheless. I could even make the point that, by Christian morality, the thought is as bad as the deed, so it could be said to be true after all. But that's getting too heavily into details, I think. The point is the story works and contains considerable satisfaction in the fact that the perpetrators get their just comeuppance in the end. That's where the comedy lies, after all.

I debated with myself over the double parentheses of "my (soon-to-be) (hopefully) ex-wife" but decided to let it pass for the sake of the joke. But the repetition of the phrase does get tedious, just as any joke will when told more than once. It would give away the punchline to delete the repeat performances, since you need to avoid calling the lady "your wife" - but I think the repetition is a worse sin. Perhaps best to give her a name and then use that after the initial joke.

Otherwise it's an amusing enough story and I enjoyed it. There were a couple of minor errors and I made notes on them which I'll copy here:

"I thought about how this had begun. It began when my wife and I..." All this beginning, clumsy. Best to combine the two sentences into something like, "I thought of how this had begun when my wife and I..."

"...to get a divorce in this state there has to be either physical cruelty or divorce." I think you mean "cruelty or adultery."

And that's it - nothing that can't be mended with a quick edit.


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Beholden
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4
4
Review of Squeaky's Pencil  Open in new Window.
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Love the names. The story seems a bit pointless but has interest enough to hold a reader. Don't put too much credence in what I say, however, as I like things that break away from the norm and this does, certainly. In your portfolio a dozen years, the piece has yet to attract a review and I must presume that this is because of its difference. Most people don't like things that refuse to go along with the accepted norms, that say what they want without bothering about the reader's understanding. They don't like being made to work to grasp what is going on.

So you've broken new ground and now you suffer the consequences. I would guess that it's worth it. There will be those who get it and like it (there's me, for one). The problem now becomes whether you want to remain in this vein or break ground elsewhere. To which I would have to say that you should write in every way that you fancy. Be broad as well as different. Even try the old ways - it might be interesting, being understood for once.

Of course, it may be that this little gem of a piece was a lone experiment and the intervening years have produced all sorts of stuff, none of it with anything like the delightful Squeaky and Pencil. In which case, ignore my advice and continue. But keep experimenting, too. It's where the real achievements lie.

Didn't spot a single error or typo, by the way. Nicely done and most enjoyable.


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Beholden
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5
5
Review of Vacancy  Open in new Window.
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Just one suggestion regarding presentation. It would have been better to embolden or italicise the required words so that they're easily picked out. Either that or omit any mention of the words being required by the assignment. That way, the reader doesn't have to guess.

And so the piece itself. Interesting style, very vivid, sort of flash perception of details to create atmosphere and place. Very effective if that's what you want, but less so when it comes to story. In fact, there's not much story at all - which is okay since you haven't described it as such. It's more of an experience than anything else, quite close to prose poetry in fact.

Do I like it? Yes, I do, although I was glad it ended when it did. Experimental stuff is fine as long as it doesn't go on too long. Imagine a book written in this way (actually, you don't have to as James Joyce does much the same thing in Finnegan's Wake). It becomes tiring to the point of discouraging the reader.

So what's my advice? Basically to keep writing, experiment with everything but don't let it carry on too long. Respect the readers and their limited endurance. Find that balance between being the writer you are and communicating effectively.

This piece is wonderful, as short as it is. It is almost hallucinogenic in immediate effect and powerful as a result. But, as I say, it's other virtue is its brevity. It's not a style to write an entire book in. Finnegan's Wake is unreadable.


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Beholden
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6
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Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This one is interesting in format. For a start, it seems to be part of something larger, judging from the title (...Part II) and the final sentence (To be continued). Yet the story can stand on its own. The ending could be a bit more conclusive but there is considerable tension in leaving it as it is. Not all stories have to have clear and defined endings, after all.

Then there's the odd device of giving each sentence a new paragraph (or hitting the Enter key once, presumably to make a clear break). I was going to quibble about this but decided it was a valid attempt to increase tension in the narrative. It introduces a certain jerkiness that is not inappropriate to the tale. It is a collection of short sharp impressions that feel almost like footsteps heading toward a dreaded ending.

So the piece is interesting in construction. Add to that the fact that I found no errors and the pace is steady in an almost fated way, step by step, toward the finish, and I can say this is a pretty impressive addition to your portfolio. Certainly, it's an intriguing and promising tale, written with verve and skill.


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Beholden
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7
7
Review of The Cat Burglar  Open in new Window.
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
The butler done it. Well, not quite the butler, the cat. A brief and amusing story of how a policeman solved the mystery. To be honest, I guessed the answer when he found a saucer on the floor but not everyone will. What makes the story special is something other than the tale itself.

It's characterisation. Your drawing of the old lady is excellent and full of understanding. The knowledge of her surroundings and how she has devised schemes to keep it under control - these are so eloquent of her type and sympathetic too. The policeman also well done, green and young, his awkwardness and emabarrassment clear and finely revealed.

From which I gather that you have a gift for depicting character in your writing. I think it might be wise to allow more room for this in your stories. For the plot to affect us, we have to care about the personalities involved. And you're so good at that.


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Beholden
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8
8
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
A tale of retribution and comeuppance, all in verse - what more could one ask? I thought it was excellent in both story and vehicle chosen. If it didn't win the Cramp, there's no justice in this world. Admittedly, I haven't read the other offerings for that particular day's contest.

Your choice of rhymes was apt, none were forced or awkward. And the flow and rhythm was attended to as well - it was as smooth as butter to read. Altogether, it's a sound technical item with an amusing and interesting narrative.

My only problem is that I can find nothing wrong with it and that leaves me nothing to say apart from plaudits. The poem isn't fantastically deep but then it doesn't pretend to that aim. It's what we could call "a bit of fun" and enormously successful at that. Very well done indeed.


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Beholden
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9
9
Review of Back to the Stars  Open in new Window.
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Well, it's a promising start. I struggled a bit in the first paragraph, trying to make sense of the world you were throwing at me. But all became clear in the next paragraphs.

In fact, I approve heartily of the way in which you introduced the changed world and new ways of living. Your decision to avoid complicated explanations of the world you imagined was the right one - far better than the massive info dumps most writers indulge in when writing this kind of story.

This technique continued throughout the piece and was much easier to understand once the first paragraph had been digested. No need to go into detail on how internal combustion motors had become rare and unseen. Discourses on history would be entirely inappropriate in this rapid and enjoyable introduction to a different world.

As the first chapter of a much longer tale, this succeeds admirably. It constructs a glimpse into a changed world of windmills and farming with interesting characters and events. In my view, any reader would be persuaded to read on. Very well done.

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Beholden
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10
10
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like this a lot. It's so different, unusual in situation and plot, expressive in language chosen, full of detail but never explaining - just allowing the reader to become immersed and to work out things for himself. Even the ending invites the reader to participate in forming some idea of what is going on.

In a way, it goes against the standard format for a short story in that it has no denouement, no ending that explains everything. But it doesn't need this. The whole piece builds such an aura of mystery that to explain would destroy all that hard work. By letting the reader form their own conclusions, you make them co-owners of the tale. And they end up loving it.

As an example, for me the matter of the locked gate to the pool is explained by the suggestion that the man fell from the sky, perhaps pushed from a plane. Not that it matters but it shows how the reader becomes involved. And the result is a story that fascinates with its originality and the questions it asks.

My one quibble regarding it is the position of the body in the pool. Was it floating on its back or looking down into the depths? It's not clear from the description. I assumed it was looking down, the natural way for a drowned body to float. But then the information that it shifted so that the crown of its head faced the sky is difficult to fit with the picture I'd built. I think you need to make it a bit clearer as to how it was floating, face up or down.

Apart from that, it's a truly excellent story, a tour de force in fact. Well done indeed.


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11
11
Review of big head  Open in new Window.
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I don't often review poetry but this one appealed because it described itself as nonsense. With that admission noted, I'm less likely to step on anyone's feelings. Perhaps.

Anyway, I enjoyed it. From avoiding rhyme at all costs, I have been through a process of experimenting with it and I now write more rhyming poems than otherwise. And I love the proliferation of rhymes in this poem. They combine to remind the reader constantly that the poem is not to be taken too seriously. And yet, there is plenty of good sense in the meaning. It is, after all, a cry for honesty.

And the rhymes fit very well, none of them seeming forced or inappropriate. Marry that with an excellent flow and rhythm, and the poem is revealed as much more than the nonsense it claims. There's a skilled writer behind these lines and a twinkle in his eye to boot.

In the end, I have to say that it's a clever move, to describe the poem as nonsense. Set your sights low and you're likely to overperform. Yes, very clever indeed and the result is a poem of fun and entertainment. Very nicely done.


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Beholden
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12
12
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This leaves the reader with quite a lot of work to do. But the subtlety gained makes it worth it. The story would work if each point was explained, yet leaving things unsaid adds interest as the reader draws the natural conclusions. The net result is a tale that needs to be thought about and stays in the mind.

The basic idea is quite imaginative too. It sticks closely to the prompt yet departs into an unexpected journey as the writer develops the story. I could see various possible endings as I read, but the one chosen did not occur to me. A pleasant surprise waited at the end, for me at least.

In particular, I found the use of the mysterious powder to soak up the spilled ink to be very inventive. No doubt suggested by the knowledge that this was the usual method of drying a completed script until the invention of blotting paper, but how many readers will know this? It ties in the events so that the whole appears quite likely, even so.

The writing is without error or typo and the story well told so that the piece is quite refreshing and entertaining to read. Amusing and enjoyable.


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Beholden
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13
13
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A powerful little piece. Impressively clear-eyed and honest reflections of a life-changing experience, it speaks to our own understanding and brings up memories that, as adults, we would probably prefer to leave unconsidered.

I like that you've left it open-ended and without any neat conclusions. Ultimate judgement on how it has affected your own marriage must wait until your race is run, after all. But it is enough to look at what you know and compare it with our lives. I, for one, never had that experience, although I was told by my older sister that the old man did leave my mother once when I was too young to understand what was going on. It lasted a day or two, apparently, and then he was back again.

So my childhood was one of ignorance is bliss, I suppose. But I can still understand how shocking an experience such a break-up must be. And your piece certainly communicates this very effectively. One of the most moving essays I've read in a long time.

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Beholden
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14
14
Review of Case Closed  Open in new Window.
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
I like it. A surprising amount of imagination went into the story. To look at the world through a monster's eyes was just the beginning. That you gave them real character was the key. How Jeffrey, the monster under the bed, had a childlike view of things, Dudley the closet monster, a personality considerably different, it was a tour of an entirely new world of monster desires and ambitions.

And their relationship to the boy, Davy, that they were centered on - quite masterful and delightful in execution. How Jeffrey thinks of putting the blame on Davy but then reflects that he's not a bad kid and decides instead that the Dad could be the scapegoat. Wonderful invention and depiction of Jeffrey's character.

The result is a story that delights through its simple creation of a world that most of us have probably forgotten - the age when there were monsters under the bed and in the closet, and yet somehow we all survived. Clearly those monsters were a good deal more benign than we imagined them to be. So well written too and not an error or typo anywhere. Makes my inner grammar nazi happy.


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Beholden
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15
15
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A little gem of irony and a repeated lesson of "be careful what you wish for." It's a gripping tale, very well described, with the reader induced to feel as exhausted by the heat and light as the spaceship's crew. The final twist comes right at the end so one finishes the story appreciating the irony.

All of which certainly fulfills the "emotional" part of the prompt. It's an imaginative story to produce for a prompt and I wonder if it won that instance of the Cramp. I think it deserved to, although it's true I've not read the competion's offerings.

I found no errors or typos, and the tale flowed naturally and at an appropriate speed. Altogether, it's a fine tale and a most enjoyable read.


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Beholden
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16
16
Review of Dragons  Open in new Window.
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
A charming little story with a pleasant twist in the tail. Obviously, the author has had considerable experience with children and schools because this story is totally at home with its subject. It speaks of the child's world naturally and with complete confidence.

The result is a tale that draws the reader in, gradually revealing that the dragon is a child in a costume and the quest is to find the right class for the lost dragon. All ends happily and the final twist is provided by a quote from the child's father. The ease with which the story is told is quite impressive and the descriptions quite vivid. Your style is ideally suited to this kind of writing, creating an atmosphere of safety in your hands as you lead us through the twists and turns of the tale.

Altogether, it's a delightful tale that takes us back instantly to our own childhoods. Very well done indeed.


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17
17
Review of The Cat  Open in new Window.
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Ah, the appeal of stray cats. This reminds me that, in the early days of my first marriage, we were sometimes visited by an old, battle-scarred, and large cat who would stay for a few days and then disappear, only to return months later. I've often wondered what happened to him.

But your story is about indoor cats and of these I've only recently had experience. Our present cat is the queen of the household and a pleasure to serve. It was good to read of your adventures with a similar cat and a stray interloper. There was just one sentence that confused me: "...I could see the porch, the stone steps, my shoes... I wondered where they were..." Two things - why were your shoes outside? And why did you wonder where they were if you could see them? Seems a bit odd.

Apart from that, I found no errors or typos and the tale flowed well with a comforting ending. An enjoyable read.


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Beholden
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18
18
Review of Soul Thief  Open in new Window.
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Very imaginative. I was impressed with the way you brought the prompt into the story so unexpectedly. So often we start from the prompt and allow the story to develop from there, but this one was halfway through before we had even a mention of the house in the picture.

You write well, at an appropriate pace, and used dialogue to tell much of the story. In fact, I must admit that my first glance at the text nearly discouraged me from reading it. I become a bit wearied by the advice to use plenty of dialogue in writing and there's a lot of it in this tale. But, on reading it, I realised that it was exactly what the story required and was not excessive at all. Very tight and to the point, in fact.

If the story has a weakness, it is that everything happens a bit too easily. The souls in jars present a problem until they're accidentally smashed, the journey across the lake to the house is solved by some very convenient stepping stones, and Harold is turned from his wicked ways by the simple expedient of the released souls attacking him. Since the story depends so much on the efficacy of magic, it deserves a rather more complicated solution, I think.

Apart from that, it's a well told tale without grammatical errors or typos. Evidence of some fine editing skills indeed. Most enjoyable.


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Beholden
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19
19
Review of A Burning Matter  Open in new Window.
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
An interesting insight into the mindset of a group usually regarded as a cult by other denominations. Presenting it as a short story does enable the reader to understand how such events as those described can happen.

It is not my job to judge the organisation and its beliefs, so I must view the story as literature only. And it makes a good job of that, the writing being free of error or distraction from the main thrust of the tale. It's the glimpse of a world that is considerably different from those that most experience that gives the piece its fascination, however. That aspect is quite gripping in fact.

Having said which, I must admit that I found the ending a little abrupt and disappointing. There were no surprises, events panning out pretty much as expected. It should be possible to make more from the excellent description that preceded the denouement. The continuance of the story beyond death seemed an unnecessary extension with the intent only to make a theological point in opposition to the Witness' opinion of annihilation. I think it distracts from the main purpose of the story, the portrait of a man driven to desperate measures by the inflexibility of his society.

It's a minor point however. The story itself is fascinating and well written.

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Beholden
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20
20
Review of Silver Side  Open in new Window.
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Ah, the imaginary friend. There's a lot of mileage in this as a subject - not many writers have explored it as yet. And I like that this one is based on the girl herself. In truth, probably most of them reflect certain aspects of their inventors.

Your intent is clearly to save the revelation of the imaginary friend until the end. There's one aspect that defeats this, at least for me. In the first sentence you say, "...my friend, slipping onto the countertop next to the sink..." The image of someone being on the countertop is so unusual that it demands explanation. Since there isn't one given, the reader has to invent one and then the possibilities become very limited, the imaginary friend being one of them.

So, if I were to suggest any improvements to the tale, I'd vote for the introduction to the friend being more natural, without clues to her difference from the norm. Otherwise, you have managed the process of learning about the friend very well. Without that hint of a clue, I dare say I'd have been surprised by the ending.

It's a minor matter and the whole story is a good picture of the relationship between girl and friend. Certainly, the friend seems to be beneficial in her advice and the girl is following her suggestions. A case of self help indeed!

The writing is without error or typo so your editing skills are also in evidence. Altogether it's a most enjoyable tale.


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Beholden
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21
21
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a story that needs a little work on the technical side but evidences both imagination and creativity. The technical side is a matter of grammar and editing. Fix that and there is real potential here.

Let me give a few of the annoying little errors in grammar that rob the tale of its intensity.

"...a university student name Elliot had just move into his room." Past tense - it should be "moved."
"...cold, even on to warmest days..." "The," not "to."
"...longer than it should be. the end of that hallway was a small window..." Second sentence should start with a capital and the word "At."
"The landlady... had given a simple warning when move in..." Should be "...when Elliot moved in."
"...don't open that curtain. just leave it be." Second sentence needs a capital letter - "Just..."

These are all such minor matters that, if there were only two or three of them, a reader could ignore. But, scattered throughout the text as they are, they point to a major problem either in the lack of editing or language skills. Either way, I can only suggest you get one of the free grammar checkers available online, such as Grammarly, and use it to assist in editing. This won't solve all of the problem but it will get you some of the way there. After that, it's only practice and experience that can help.

I've spent some time on this because the story has qualities that deserve better presentation. It is unusual and tells a truly scary tale in an accomplished manner as regards pace and interest. Basically, I'm saying that you have talent and should be prepared to put in that little extra bit of work to ensure that the errors are weeded out. And now it's up to you.


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Beholden
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22
22
Review of The Knight  Open in new Window.
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Ah, a piece that asks the hard questions. Any woman who considers these matters seriously is going to find it hard to construct an answer sufficient unto the question.

We might find it somewhat out of date to be worrying about knights and damsels these days. After all, knights in shining armour seem to be extinct and damsels in distress almost as rare. Yet the piece is about more than fantasy - it concerns the hidden nature of so many of us, hiding behind masks as we do.

And this highlights the unlikelihood of the ideal ever being attained. Any knight worthy of the name is going to be less than pristine after fighting those battles to win the lady of his choice, and that lady is bound to be disappointed by so worn and battered a rescuer. A conundrum indeed.

As for the piece itself, it's engagingly sharp in its understanding of the human condition and the writing is competent and clear. Add the fact that I found no errors or typos and it's a winner. Very enjoyable and pleasure to read.


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Beholden
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23
23
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This one is quite interesting from a technical viewpoint. It gives no hint of its ultimate destination, even the description and genres chosen omitting signposts. So the denouement comes as a surprise, at least in its being a conversation between two characters introduced only at the end of the story. But the tale holds together very well and leaves the reader pondering the unexpected twists and turns of life.

Certainly, the aim of a short story, to contain a twist in the tail, is fulfilled. And the writing is competent and marred only by the choice of names for the firefighters. It's a minor point and I could be accused of nitpicking for having mentioned it, but I do think it has some effect on the reader's enjoyment of the story. The names Bob and Joe are just too commonplace to be instantly believable. One might get away with just one name of that kind but two is stretching things a bit. Throw in an unusual one and it could make all the difference.

Apart from that admittedly minor matter, the story is well told, close to most people's experience, and very believable as a result. Well done indeed.


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Beholden
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24
24
Review of A Shadow of Guilt  Open in new Window.
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This is rather different in that it telegraphs what it's about right from the start. The result is the reader is drawn into the piece purely by the description of the protagonist's thoughts. And this works very well, allowing the reader to understand how guilt must feel to the sufferer and how death may come as a final relief.

Which makes the descriptions supremely important to the story. They are expertly done with a series of vivid similes illuminating the journey home and the wavering between firing the gun and being unable to do the deed. It's very effective.

I found no errors or typos, the flow and relentless pace reflected the journey very well, and not a word inappropriate or did not add to the building emotion. In summary, it's an effective piece of writing and a deeply felt tale played out too often in a fallen world.


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Beholden
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25
25
Review by Beholden Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Very well written. I must admit that my first thought was that it wasn't much to build a story on. But then I realised that you'd made such a good job of it that I shouldn't be so dismissive.

Part of my initial feeling was the result of my disorganised childhood, I suppose. Riding a bike wasn't something that I needed to be taught. My parents did not buy me a bike until I was twelve years old, by which time I'd been riding everything else I could get my hands on for years. And I learned by doing and assumed that was how everyone did it.

So it was a bit strange imagining a mindset that required a father to do the teaching. Once that's handled, the rest follows easily enough. And the story is quite heartwarming after that. Fairly predictable but, considering the intent and likely audience, it's sufficient.

What makes it stand out, however, is the way it's written. Everything flows smoothly and with appropriate pace and your style gives an impression of confidence in explaining the story. There are no errors or departures from the main storyline. Altogether an enjoyable read with a lesson in living included. Well done.


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Beholden
Nominated for Quills Best Reviewer, 2023 and 2024
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