I saved my draft and closed the window. Now I cannot find the draft again and it was the first half of a short story not excactly easy to tell. Please, please help me! Where are the drafts?
This is wonderful. I do not know whether it is an original tale told so lively or one of your own making, but I love it. Such a great story about the challenges of art, the human soul and envy. Perfectly told, I could see it while reading, all from the boy listening, the animals, Gitche Manitou to the envious hunter. Very convincingly told. Thank you!
I like the idea as I sure could use help. Writing short stories is not easy for me...But could you tell me how to enter a story? I'm new to this app. Thank you.
I don't know how useful my review will be, I am just learning to write short stories myself. The last one I did evolved into 1 and a half book, running on...Lol. But seeing someone else learning, I could not help sending support.
You caught my interest with Olivia, as I have diabetes myself. I'm also sick of pincushion fingertips but refuse the permanent tsb on the arm so far. You hit som primordial fear there. Raising hackles.
I read on, looding contact a little over Elly. I think some of the emotional consequences of the stock falling, the broken contracts and the company failing could keep reader interest here. I know YouTube university and some other authors always talk about using only a few adjectives, but... it was hard to identify with Elly. Or to feel dread over the deadly app spreading. Or to feel her denial of conseqquences. She lacked personality somehow. Sorry.
But the end was great again, just Milo's derision for his boss and humanity. The evil intent. Though a reason like bullying or a broken relationship or a hint at a psychological problem before would maybe explain something to the reader. Msybe write a crisis meeting? And mobbing there? But that could give the surprise away. I really don't know, maybe you should ignore my advice on Milo.
All in all it was a good read, thank you for posting it.
This is sad, but in a way typical for relationships with golddiggers or someone too young, a trophy wife, isn't it? Pays to stick with the first wife and money can't buy everything. I know somone who could profit by this, though I doubt he'd take the advice. But thank you for publishing. I like it and it made me think.
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