Great short story that had me on me the edge of my seat. I wonder why they were afraid and what has become of this world. It felt like a post apocalypse story and I really love those. It does make me wonder what was the cause that is making the world unsafe. I love when stories make you think and try to imagine the world they are in.
I enjoyed your short story. Time traveling is always fun to read and I liked how you added humor to it. The three characters were interesting and you wrote them well. There relationships came across as natural and it felt like peek into another universe. Great writing.
I really enjoyed your micro poem. You used your words wisely and helped create a lovely fall moment. Halloween and fall is my favorite time of year so this is a perfect poem for me. It's hard to pick a favorite lime because they all work perfectly with each other. Great writing.
I really enjoyed reading your short story. The set up worked and the build up of tension added so much to the story. I really liked the ending. Its interesting to think if he wins the game or loses like all the others. You managed to add so many details with only 332 words. Great writing.
After reading this all I can say is wow. It amazes me how with so few words you can build an mini little world and create a story about it. I liked the build up of tension and the monstrous creature seems silly and terrifying at the same time. The last line feels me with dread but I can't also chuckle at the idea of being taken out by a giant frog. Great writing.
I quite enjoyed your poem. The writing is whimsical and reminds me of Shel Silverstein. The rhyming and rhythm flows with ease and doesn't feel like it constricted your writing at all. It also was a bit of a riddle so a poem that makes you think. Great job and I enjoyed reading it.
I like how your poem can relate to so many people. I think facing struggles seems to be a common plight amongst us humans. I would go back and really consider splitting some of the lines. It comes across as free style, my favorite way to write poetry so there is a lot of freedom in it. I still think having shorter lines throughout would help with the pacing. I understand poetry is very often personal so if you dont feel like changing anything I get it. The line Now you throw back all your fears and thoughts, throw it all out the window and preserve what's left of your breath could be
Now you throw back all your fears and thoughts
Throw it out the window and preserve what's left of your health
Overall great poem and my favorite line is the last one since its a powerful way to end it.
I absolutely enjoyed this story. You managed so much in this short tale. I was able connect and care about the fates of Ryan and Gina. The buildup was written well and the conclusion was satisfying. This feels like a start of a longer novel and one I would like to read.
What challenge to write a poem without the letter
See I would have not been up to it as you can see
With clever rhymes and words skillfully chosen
Your poem is fresh and I wish I could give it a seven
Great poem and really it fun to read. Keep on writing.
Beautiful but tragic poem that a lot of people can relate to. My favorite lines are Now these words just live her, in the cracks of my chest, in the hollow space you left behind. Great writing.
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