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Public Reviews
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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Netty I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: ""Stood on the Sand"" Open in new Window. by Netty

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Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A strong spiritual poem written in free verse form focusing on the wonders of God's creations. Being blessed with the ability to praise God for allowing us this privilege is certainly something all of us should take advantage of at all times.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a young profit admiring the beauties of creation while acknowledging the blessings they're receiving from a higher power.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this powerful and delightful work.*Ha*

Netty thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

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2
2
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Prem Junior I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "May a Word Someday " Open in new Window. by Prem Junior

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Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: An interesting romance poem focusing on the positive inspirational outlook.
Written in the style of a romance poem to the one that got away.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a relationship ended by uncontrollable circumstances. One writes a desperate attempt to rekindle that flame.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this entertaining work.

Prem Junior thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

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3
Review of A Love Supreme  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi ridinghood-p.boutilier I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "A Love Supreme" Open in new Window. by ridinghood-p.boutilier

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Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: A strong spiritual poem. Short sweet and straight to the point, in a few words this poem says a whole lot. Well done.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of an ancient prophet praying to the God almighty. They began with what can I say you know it all already Lord God almighty.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: No problems that I can find with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this delightful poem.

ridinghood-p.boutilier thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi again JCosmos I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Imprisoned for a Typo" Open in new Window. by JCosmos

Clarity:A great title for this historical tale.

Writing style: Historical political drama.

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes *Smile* by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader? *Smile* An awesome structure that does indeed make it easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker? *Smile* The dialog is appropriate for its speaker.

My favorite line:--- His lawyer tried to explain the circumstances. .

“it was a simple typo. These things happen particularly on breaking news stories.”---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A great well written historical article.
The opening could be stronger to grab the reader's attention better.

A wonderful structure with good historical elements that make this a great read.

JCosmos thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:*Cool* *Smile*

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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5
5
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Ju-Ju I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"First chapter of Secrets of the Sirens" Open in new Window. by Ju-Ju

Clarity: Seems like a good book title, however a title for the chapter would be preferred.

Writing style: Mythological war drama.

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed?No, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A good format however a bit more line spacing as well as breaking down the longer paragraph into shorter ones would make it easier on the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?The dialog does seem to be appropriate for its speaker.

My favorite line:---That was until I was knocked out. Then, my life depended on the gods being in my favor.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A good informational opening. Stronger opening lines would better grab the readers attention. Possibly the second paragraph that starts out "Let the men fight, Misery!" would seem like a stronger opening.

Great descriptions of both characters and settings, this helps to pull the reader into the story.
I love ancient mythology and this does seem like a great start for a wonderful no novel.

A good mysterious ending that makes the reader want to turn the page and read more.

Ju-Ju thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:Consider breaking down the longer paragraphs with a blank line between them. This makes it appear more inviting as well as easier for the reader.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Shezi I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Echoes at My Funeral" Open in new Window. by Shezi

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A strong poetic article describing a funeral from the view of the deceased. Many good questions that indeed could be asked from the deceased. A lot of comments that are typical at a funeral.

In my opinion this seems like a rough draft of a soon to be work of art.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:A young artist in the process of finding their skills begins carving and chiseling on a block of stone. Positive that there is a masterpiece inside the stone yet no idea what it looks like. Determined they keep chiseling away at the stone to eventually uncover the hidden treasure.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics:Consider saving this work and editing from time to time. Chiseling away at that stone to eventually find the final poetic form that will showcase the hidden treasure. Experiment with trying to have no sentences that start with 'and' or 'but'.

Shezi thank you for sharing your work. This is only one humble opinion.
Write On!

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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Hi Xelor/Daoud I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "The Veil of Eternal Spirit" Open in new Window. by Xelor/Daoud

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:'The human mind, a mirror of fractured time' Indeed even in today's technological modern advanced times the mysteries of the human mind are yet to be solved.

A charming and well worded poem with a nice rhyming scheme that adds to the overall deep flow of this work.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a world ancient that has not yet come where a wise philosopher is engaged in his lifelong work of trying to decipher the human mind.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this psychedelic poem.
*RainbowL* *Cool* *Pumpkin* *ButtonP* *Smirk2* *Smirk* *Crown1* *StarfishP* *Care*
Xelor/Daoud thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
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Hi Carly: poems & novel I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Family Traditions Strike A Blow " Open in new Window. by Carly: poems & novel

Clarity:A good catchy title that activates my curiosity.

Writing style: Contest entry, family drama.

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed?*Smile* by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?*Smile* Nicely structured making it easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?*Smile* The dialogue does indeed seem to be appropriate for its speaker.

My favorite line:---I shook my head again, "Generations. On my dad's side of the family."---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: The writer's cramp is a great contest that challenges the author to do the work in 24 hours. I know for a fact it is much harder than it sounds. Well done.

I like the opening, there's nothing like the family tradition. Looks like you nailed the prompt which was kind of a difficult one it appears to me.

A creative storyline, well laid out with good descriptions and seems like a great job with the dialogue which gives this tale a realistic tone.

Carly: poems & novel thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.
*Smile* *Smile*
Suggestions:*Star* *Cool* *Fireworks5* *BigSmile*

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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9
9
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
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Hi again Max Griffin I came across this article while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the article: "How to do reviews tab" Open in new Window. by Max Griffin

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: A very informational article with great suggestions. A great use of colored fonts to highlight the specific items that you want to stand out.

Nicely done with a professional looking format and structure that makes this article appealing to a reader or browser.

Personally I am not familiar with the roundtable however this still seems like awesome advice.



Max Griffin thank you for sharing your article.
Write On!

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10
Review of Night self  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi sona I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Invalid Item" Open in new Window. by sona

Clarity: I like the title, it makes me curious about the content.

Writing style: Psychological opinion melodrama.

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed? Only 1 is listed, by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader? Even though this is a short work it appears crowded and could benefit from some line spacing with a bank line between longer paragraphs. This does make it easier for the reader and more inviting to a browser or would be reader.


My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:An interesting article that does make some good points and ask good question. Indeed the human mind seems to find a lot of mystery after the midnight hour.

Reads much like a rough draft, a bit of line spacing and possibly a larger font would make it more appealing. Also the correct use of capital letters would make it appear much more professional. What's up with the future date?
sona thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.


WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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11
11
Review of Sum Total  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (3.5)
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Hi again JACE I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Sum Total" Open in new Window. by JACE

Clarity:A good title however I don't get it.

Writing style:Contest entry fantasy drama.

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed?*Smile* by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?*Smile*

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?*Smile*


My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: A good opening that piques my curiosity however I get confused and lost after about four paragraphs.

Looks like a good use of the prompt words for the contest.*Smile*

JACEthank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: Consider using these drafts for three separate stories.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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12
12
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi again Xakkenna Lang I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Tourturous Insanity" Open in new Window. by Xakkenna Lang

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A deep philosophical work emphasizing on human nature and it's faults.
This well worded poem has a catchy flow and has got this reader's mind to working.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see an ancient world at war with itself. Experimenting on prisoners of war to gain information. They conclude from their experiments that the results would be more accurate if they use the same technique on themselves.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this deep entertaining work.
Consider experimenting with taking out two of the repeating lines at the end. They are not needed.

Xakkenna Lang*Smile* *Smile* *Smile* thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi again Lonewolf I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"The Dinner Disaster" Open in new Window. by Lonewolf

Clarity:A good title for this Dinner tale.

Writing style:Contest entry family drama.

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed? *Smile* by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?*Smile*

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?*Smile*

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: Writers Cramp contest is much harder than anybody realizes, at least for me. You have 24 hours but usually by the time I see the prompt then decide to try. There's about 10 hours left and it's bedtime. A great contest though it teaches you to get it out there instead of tweaking it over and over looking for that elusive perfection.

Looks like you've done a great job here. A good opening however it could be stronger to grab my attention better. A good realistic storyline. Fantastic structure with great descriptions. I can almost taste those steaks.*ForkSpoon*
*Smile* *BigSmile* *Smirk2* *Smirk* *Smile*

Lonewolf thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.


WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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14
14
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Jessica Morgan I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "A Decade is a long time" Open in new Window. by Jessica Morgan

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A decade is a long time and no time at all. The blink of an eye.

A well worded and nicely structured poem that has a realistic easy flow. 'Tied the knot, got hitched, it was legal.'
*Mindblown* *BalloonBl* *Smirk* A entertaining work.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a happy modern couple celebrating their 50th golden wedding anniversary.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this charming work.

Jessica Morgan thank you for sharing your poem.
*BigSmile* *BigSmile* *BigSmile*
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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15
Review of Love Letter  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Just Jae I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Love Letter" Open in new Window. by Just Jae

Clarity: Seems like a good title for this lost love letter tale.

Writing style: Romance emotional drama.

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes*BigSmile* by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?Yes *BigSmile* Nicely structured making it easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?Yes *BigSmile* The dialog is appropriate for its speaker.

My favorite line:---Yet, she just seen a letter dated fifteen years after the fact. She had to process her mother's death before she could delve further into what she just read.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A good idea for this entertaining contest entry letter. A fair opening that is interesting yet it could be a bit stronger to grab the reader's attention from the start better.

I like that Jerry had a daughter named Geri.

Just Jae thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: *Smirk2*

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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16
16
Review of Crown Of Ashes  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Dark fiction and dark humor I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Crown Of Ashes" Open in new Window. by Dark fiction and dark humor

Clarity: A intriguing title.

Writing style:Screenplay fiction drama.

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes*Smile* by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?Yes *Smile* a good structure that does make it easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?Yes *Smile* the dialogue does seem appropriate for its speaker.

My favorite line:---Somehow, Mark gathers strength. He grabs his keys, adrenaline kicking in, runs to his car, and slams the engine on before flying out of there like a bat outta hell. He looks back, but where's the devil dude?---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: 'Shiver me Timbers' a good opening that drags the reader into the story.

The play like format helps to give this work a realistic tone that keeps it real for the reader. An interesting storyline that keeps the reader on his toes trying to decipher the puzzle.

Dark fiction and dark humor thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: Consider adding more descriptions of the setting and or the characters. The constant dialogue gets a bit repetitive and seems to need something to break it up.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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17
17
Review of 3 Letters  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi Tarinan Reanice I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "3 Letters" Open in new Window. by Tarinan Reanice

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: A most delightful three letters poem written in an original unique format still yet it carries a entertaining realistic tone.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: There are just some people out there that seem to be blind to what is obvious right in front of their face. It's like they have blinders on. What is so obvious to the majority of others they just can't see. Instead they go after the exact opposite, almost like they're trying to get hurt.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this unique work.

Tarinan Reanice thank you for sharing your poem. *Lightning2* *Lightning2* *Sun* *BigSmile*
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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18
18
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi again Lonewolf I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"The Tooth Fairy's Gift" Open in new Window. by Lonewolf

Clarity: A great title for this delightful children's tale.

Writing style: Children's fantasy drama.

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes *Smile* by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?Indeed. *Smile* A beautiful structure that does make it so easy for the reader.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?Yes *Smile* the dialogue is appropriate for its speaker.

My favorite line:---Noah grinned as he read the note, his little fingers tracing the elegant, swirling letters.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:A good opening for this delightful tale that brings back fond memories. A most entertaining storyline that I'm sure any child would be happy to read or hear.

An awesome happy ending to this tooth Fairy classic.*FairyR*

Lonewolf thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: *HappyCry* *Ha* *BigSmile* *BigSmile*

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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19
19
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi Warm_Ri_Guards I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "Sail to Me Upon an Ocean I Wept for You" Open in new Window. by Warm_Ri_Guards

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A unique form for this free verse love poem. The emotions can be felt from this poem about the one that got away.

Artistic Voice and Imagery:In the ocean of time I see the image of former lovers that are drifting in opposite directions. One writes their emotions on paper to try to move on to the next romantic adventure in the search for their elusive soulmate.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this deep work.

Warm_Ri_Guards, thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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20
20
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi a girl I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"A_Journey_Through_Uncertainty" Open in new Window. by a girl

Clarity:A nice title for this work.

Writing style: Biographical diary entry article.

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes*Smile* by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?Yes *Smile* Nicely structured making it easy for the reader.


My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions:You have a nice writing style with great descriptions that let your emotions show.

Finding a job in today's high tech world can no doubt prove very difficult. Be patient and decide what it is you want to do and pursue that goal even if you have to take a different job for the time being. Still keep your major goal in mind then keep pursuing it. In no time you you will be able to look back at this work and smile because it will be a distant memory.

Own life's pathway it is those hard uncertain times that help us identify ourselves, learn from our mistakes and become stronger, just another one of life's test.

a girl thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions: Hang in there, keep your head high and don't let Google and YouTube get you overwhelmed and depressed. Keep writing. 'Writing is all we can do to make sense of it all.'

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
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21
21
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi Xakkenna Lang I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "You need to fly to truly cry." Open in new Window. by Xakkenna Lang

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: Why can't a gold-fish be forgettable? I have never heard that one before.
A well written deep and inspirational poem. Structured in a original unique form. This poem carries a nice consistent flow. 'But it still, hurts when you stop flying.'

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of an ancient Greek philosopher trying hard to decipher some of life's deepest puzzles.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I see no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this strong deep poem.*BigSmile*

Xakkenna Lang thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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22
22
Review of A Cat In The Moon  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi losing cat I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "A Cat In The Moon" Open in new Window. by losing cat

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter:A deep free verse style romance poem. The emotions of the author can be felt from this poem.
Seems to be in more of a first draft structure.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a soul having problems getting over a past relationship. So they try to put their emotions on paper to make it easier to move on and search for that elusive soul mate.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: The mechanics or form could be edited to be a more uniform style.

losing cat thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.
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Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hi Hannahnunchun I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"balloons and fireworks revised edition" Open in new Window. by Hannahnunchun

Clarity:Seems to be a good title, however it could describe the contents of the story better.

Writing style:War, adventure drama.

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes *Smile* by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader?A good format, the structure is good however a bit more line-spacing or blank lines breaking up the longer paragraphs could help the last half of this tale.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?Yes *Smile* the dialog is appropriate for its speaker.

My favorite line:---The grass was soft to the touch and the dew that formed on them every morning would feel so fresh and cool on Carla’s skin when she lay on the grass and watched as the sun would rise, releasing colours of red, purple and pink in the sky with the clouds floating about their business as they were carried by the wind, barely noticing Carla.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: A great opening line. The next paragraph could be made a bit stronger to grab the reader's attention better right from the start.

The 'count by two until her hands would stop shaking.' seems awkward, at least in this section.

A nice humorous touch with the sister and her high heels.
Nice creative story-line well written with great descriptions of both scenes and characters. This helps me to relate with the characters as well as picture the setting.




Hannahnunchun thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:A good proof read and edit never hurts. Consider a blank line between longer paragraphs. This will make it easier for the reader as well as more inviting to a browser. Apparently todays readers have a short attention span and prefer stories short, straight to the point. Consider editing some of the less exciting parts.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
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24
Review of Warning Sirens  Open in new Window.
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~

Hi Dorian Blink I came across this story while random reviewing.
I am no literary professor however I like to read and feel like my opinions relate with today's average reader.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of:"Warning Sirens" Open in new Window. byDorian Blink

Clarity:A good title that caught my attention and made me want to know more.

Writing style: Experience, nature drama.

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Are all 3 genres listed?Yes *Smile* by listing the Max amount of three genres your work will be available to more readers and browsers searching in that genre.

Is the structure and format easy for the reader? The structure appears crowded. Consider line-spacing to make it easier for those of us readers with weak eyes.

Is the dialog appropriate for the speaker?Yes *Smile*

My favorite line:---The siren got louder. Before it sounded like a ghost far away and now it is close and loud sounds like reading at school and turning the page of a book when the bell rings.---

My two cents is only one opinion. Overall impressions: Mother Nature can indeed be unpredictable and disastrous. A good opening with the great descriptions that gives the reader the feeling of being in a hurricane.

A well written account of this adventure. Plus you didn't have to go to school. Wow that brings back memories for this reader.

Dorian Blink thank you for sharing this work it has been a joy to read it.

Suggestions:Consider a good proof read and edit with a bit of line spacing and maybe a blank line between paragraphs. This will make it easier for the reader and more appealing to a browser or potential reader.

WRITE ON! KEEP WRITING! GOD BLESS.

Joseph
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
25
25
Review by Joseph Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~


Hi again Wandering Thoughts I came across this poem while random reviewing.
I hope you will find this feedback helpful.

My impressions of the poem: "A Metaphor for Hope and Love" Open in new Window. bWandering Thoughtsy

Image #2239636 over display limit. -?-

Form, Format, Rhyme and Meter: A well worded lyrics style poem with a nice rhyming scheme that contributes to the overall rhythmic flow of this poem.

Artistic Voice and Imagery: I see the image of a generous soul who has learned the satisfaction of giving without expecting anything in return. No disappointments when expected nothing in return however when rewarded it is a unexpected yet welcome blessing.

Grammar, Spelling and Mechanics: I can find no problems at all with the grammar spelling or mechanics of this enchanting work.

Wandering Thoughts thank you for sharing your poem.
Write On!

Joseph Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.
"disABILITY WRITERS GROUP" Open in new Window.
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