Children knowing something's wrong; hopefully, they won't have to deal with that exact type of sorrow, even if they are temporarily following suit and keeping their thoughts to themselves. I like this piece, I think there's a beautifully sweet sadness to it.
Gets better every time I read it; I feel this is a visionary piece of work clearly created by someone with their pulse firmly on the human condition. Against the grain, forward-thinking...just brilliant. So many sides in that individual prism; a kaleidoscope of moods, feelings, reactions, understandings... "beset but not broken, retained but out of focus"- the enigma continues, a source within a source, inspiration including exasperation.
I like the concept of an ANGEL in disguise; quite the twist. This visually striking piece conjures images of Catholicism for me, especially when mentioning of Baptism by Water (which is in itself a twist on what probably is an overused phase-"Baptism by Fire"; I think I prefer the more factual and congenial phrase, which I now recognize as underutilized). I know the piece is more well-rounded spiritually & religiously than that, but that's my takeaway from it. Very rich and rewarding to read, as it really made me think.
"Hard-won", yeah, I like that phrase; ever since I read that term in a "Dexter" book it's been on my mind. I don't know what you've edited from this piece or if I read it before (there's one piece I thought took place by a creek or something like that which I recall that feels like this one to me), but it's very magical in its wording and touching as well.
Nice story; it touched me how Cassie felt that no one trusted her with the type of responsibility she desired. She was underestimated, but in the end won affection and respect. My favorite line: "It made a statement, suspendedthere in the sky like an exclamation of the doom that was to follow". I don't know, I just dig it!
i like how you wrote this piece in red. you really explained your feelings quite well. you used the right kind of adjectives to set the tone.i hope after you wrote this you felt a bit better. excellent job!
i like how your piece questions the emotional motives of every season as, in turn, the writer qustions herself. as nirwna once sang, "weasther changes moods". very sweet and gripping piece. for some reason, it makes me think of victorian times. substantial work!
this is one of the best pieces i've ever read from your portfolio, and one of my favorites. great use of the words "wanton" and "timorous". it really explains well the feeling you have when you can no longer truly have faith in a person who has proven false, thus leaving you emotionally paralyzed. shades of gray are necessary to operate in daily life, but is ruinous to forming a trusting personal relationship.
from the looks of this poem, it doesn't look like any ships are going to be able to find shore :(
really good work, but let's try to fix the lighthouse!
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