Dear Hareem,
Greetings,
This story is very good. Basically the topic of story is very good and new you are literally writing very good stories..
warm regards,
Vicious
Dear Sid,
greetings, I am Haania, But you can call me Vicious
it is a great story..! being a new author i dont know what sugestion i should gave you to improve like other author give..
But its good This piece is good at character-driven storytelling. Jaden’s internal monologue is sharp, relatable, and consistently engaging, balancing humor with a quiet undercurrent of loneliness. The sarcastic tone never feels forced; instead, it functions as emotional armor, making his vulnerability more impactful when it finally cracks.
Kevin and Diana are well-defined despite limited space—Kevin as comic relief with genuine warmth, and Diana as an idealized presence who subtly represents what Jaden thinks he wants. The dialogue is natural and lively, capturing the messy, overlapping energy of real conversations, especially among friends.
The strongest moment arrives with Kim’s introduction. The pacing slows just enough to let the emotional weight settle, and the “familiar stranger” motif is handled with restraint, avoiding melodrama while still delivering a powerful hook. Ending the story at Jaden’s stunned silence is an effective choice—it invites curiosity and emotional investment without overexplaining.
Overall, this is a compelling opening chapter. It blends humor, realism, and emotional tension with confidence, setting up a promising narrative about memory, connection, and the difference between imagined love and the real thing.
This poem is tender, sincere, and emotionally transparent. It captures the longing of a love built through connection rather than presence, and the writer expresses that yearning with simple, honest imagery. The repetition of “I finally found someone who can reach me” gives the poem a strong emotional anchor. The theme of distance versus closeness is handled gently, showing both hope and ache. Overall, it’s a heartfelt piece that flows smoothly and leaves the reader feeling the warmth, vulnerability, and quiet devotion behind every line.
Kind Regards,
Vicious
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