Hello. This was on Read and Review. What a story. I couldn't quit reading. I felt bad for the investors who didn't have all the info they needed.
Well written. I found no errors and have no suggestions.
This flash fiction looks like it had some word requirements, since some words are still highlighted.
Good job. I enjoyed your story.
This very low-key story was on Read & Review. Welcome to WDC. The only complaint I would have is the overuse of the word "So".
In the first paragraph, maybe "But" would sound better, indicating a contrast to the uselessness of the keys.
The next two times, I would just omit the "So" altogether. It doesn't add anything to your thought.
I did expect something to happen with the delivery since a description of the delivery guy was so thorough. On the other hand, the fact that nothing happens might be the point you are trying to make.
These are just personal remarks, not intended to be derisive or offensive.
Best wishes to you.
I came across this on R & R. I hope I'm not intruding into the contest deadline. It was a very cute poem. Could be a better explanation for Elf on the Shelf, not just getting by, but to keep on trying for your best. Maybe a new take on the old adage, "If at first you don't succeed. . ."
Good job.
On Read & Review. I don't know what the contest rules were or anything about this type of poem. To me, it appears flawless. I liked it. It rang so true. Great job.
Sorry, I can't give a fitting review.
From Read & Review. I don't know if this was for a contest and might have had some restraints.
The subject is beautiful. I understand the sentiment. The message you bring is a sublime one. The rhyme is good. There are no typos or other technical errors.
However, the rhythm is a little off. Religious poems frequently become hymns, so you might try making up a little tune while you say the words out loud. The result might be a more consistent rhythm from stanza to stanza.
A very good effort. You express your feelings very well on a difficult subject (so many people have tried). Keep writing about your faith. It is worthy of art at its best.
Good story. What every woman should read if she doesn't want to cook and knows her husband can!
It caught my attention immediately and I had to keep reading. Good use of dialogue and descriptions.
I found no typos and have no suggestions for changes or correctons.
Good job.
The first, maybe only, distraction is the "Wh" on a line by itself to start. Presumably a typo.
Otherwise, it was informative. I had no idea fanny packs were back. The only ones I ever encountered were not fashionable, but were very lightweight, sometimes rain-proof.
I never had one myself. After reading your article, I think maybe I need one. A lot of old people need one to carry a cell phone, a house key or whatever, when doing yard work or taking a walk. Just in case. I always have a phone nearby in case I fall off a ladder or trip and hit the ground. A fanny pack would give me some assurance.
You do a good selling job. I am sure I use a lot of outdated items.
Very cute. I liked it. I had to keep reading to find out the end. "Don't" in front of any thing almost always works with kids. I did wonder how many times the mom had to do that.
No suggestions for improvements or editing.
fI like your poem. This Free verse says a lot in limited words, a good sign of poetry.
It has an air of dignity and pride. It was a pleasure to read something positive. a lovely tribute to veterans of all ages.
Hi, I found this in Read & Review.
It plays with colors, shadow and light. I like that. Excellent job of capturing memories, maybe fleeting or blurry.
My favorite line was "that burnt orange orb".
I hope you did well, if this was for a contest.
Ok, you got me. I didn't remember a villanelle. I had to look it up. I had already noticed your rhyme scheme, so I knew you met the requirements when I read them. In fact, you met all the other requirements for a villanelle. (I didn't notice until later that you referenced it with a drop down note. I've been educated a bit.
The imagery is consistent and mystical. Great job.
Hello.
I liked your poem. Great imagery, It truly depicts a spectacular display. good word choices. Brings to mind a few pageants I've seen, including the mall in D.C.
I found no errors, no recommendations. Thanks for giving a reference to the rondeau; it was helpful.
From read & review.
I read it several times. I was ok until that last line. I wanted that dive to be perfect or almost. "Oh No!!!" scared me. Did the poet die or become severely injured or just disappointed in his performance?
I think breath should be breathe. I see you just wrote it, so it just needs editing.
Good description. Good poem.
The “hanging line” caught my eye. I thought of ropes and lunging. But I digress. Good poem, so true. I’m sure we could add more verses. Thanks for posting this week.
Ok, a delightful Halloween poem that isn't sing-song-y like many seasonal poems. I enjoyed it. I didn't notice any flaws or possible changes. The imagery is good. It was a well chosen title.
Nice job.
Found this on Read & Review.
It's bouncy and cheery. The form suits the mood and contributes the gladness of the changing seasons. The only thing bad about spring is pollen, which is necessary for nature, but not our sinuses. In my region, spring is too short. Cold weather turns to too hot way to soon.
Technical aspects: the rhythm is a little bumpy. Otherwise, good mechanics are employed.
Well done.
Hi, I am reading this poem out of season because it came up on Read & Review.
It paints a realistic picture of a town or subdivision on Halloween. It brings to mind that in this modern, high tech world, we still have a throw back to simpler old world traditions. But I digress.
Nicely written. A lot of money and forethought go into celebrating this holiday, and you captured an image of that without getting didactic.
I have no corrections or suggestions. Good job.
I understand the point of view. A person wants to help someone down on his or her luck. It could be too much to handle; the homeless person could be lying, playing the system, or off balance. I have known such a person, who simply couldn't be helped.
Your poem was well done, proofed very well, and maintained interest.
Hi, a casual review here. Wow. Your protagonist is a little scary. So much anger you've portrayed, with no remorse for the consequences she discovers, presumably hours later. Adding the dog in was a great touch. It felt like just the beginning of a deeper, more prolonged story.
I find nothing to change.
Hope you did well in the contest.
This is aptly titled. Very well written. You keep the 7 syllables per line. The rhyme is consistent throughout. I liked it very much. I wouldn't change a thing.
Good going.
I certainly felt the turmoil and the wave of change in the crowd. The brevity shows how quickly things can change.
I have no suggestions for change, and I find no errors. Good job. Hope you vented adequately. I'm not into sports, but I have seen others experience outrage as a spectator. Love and loyalty turn into hate in a heated rage.
Well done.
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