Thank you for sharing this!
So many responses about this piece to mention, I hardly know where to start!
I myself have had a lot of experience with alcoholics in my life destroying the potential of our relationships and was able to resonate with this piece across the multi-levels of the relationship spectrum... From grandfather, to father, to friend, to mother, to lover, and this poem seems to apply in such a beautifully creative, fully applicable way to all genres of relationship.
To be honest, I thought I was the only who wrote lonnnnng poems to express each and every emotion I am feeling.
I felt urged to share that these four stanzas stood out to me the most and could probably be the condensed version of your poem if you wanted to shorten it for any reason (contests maybe? ;) ).
I mean no harm or offense by mentioning length... I myself have SOOooo many poems that are so long, I don't feel like reading them because I feel like I am taking too long to "get to the point" in a sense. Maybe my own fear with shame holds me back more than I even realized until reviewing this poem for you. Ha! Do you resonate with that as well?
This one gave me goosebumps...
Love how you creatively expressed the idea of freedom and slavery.
The void remains--
I needed you to love me,
more than the numbness you drowned in.
I thought if I could piece you together,
I might somehow make myself whole.
But it was you who broke the chains,
that bound us,
pleading for my freedom,
as if I had ever wanted to be free.
Yet you never truly left, did you?
In this one, deception reigns!! Crafty!
You crafted a shrine for me,
adorned me with wings,
elevated and sacred, untouched by your secrets.
Your last chance at redemption,
a sanctuary where you hid from yourself.
Your perfect lie--
an illusion of salvation.
Once shattered, your adoration
twisted into disdain.
The hand that shaped my wings,
became the force that broke them.
And now, you watch me fall
from the heights you once placed me upon.
Last one actually got me too, but I felt uneasy with the last line and played with it a bit. I hope you don't mind, but hey, what are reviews for if you can't gain another idea from them right? I only hope my thoughts inspire you to continue your passion and free self expression!
And please, feel free to review and constructively critique my efforts as well!
Yet I release you, I forgive you,
Love, a quiet thread that ties us still,
A spark woven into the fabric of time,
Never truly gone, but transformed,
gently fading
into the glow of what we were.
I return sometimes to those moments,
not with longing, but with reverence--
like that stolen kiss--
unexpected, breathless,
the words "I love you" spilling from me,
uncontainable, truthful,
your arms, holding me,
an electric hum between us.
This is how I'll hold us--
in the warmth of what we were,
not in the sorrow that followed.
When you remember me,
let it be the quiet depth of my love that remains,
the warmth of my hand resting softly on your cheek,
the steady, unwavering gaze that held you,
unchanged by time.
Let that be what stays with you--
not the deafening silence that followed,
not the weight of what we lost,
but the light that we held, even just for a moment, so close to perfect but fragile.
Lingering in the past, leading the way to our distinct future.
Are you located in NY by any chance? I would love to hear you at an open mic nearyby sometime soon! NYC-Hudson Yards area. Let me know!
Look forward to your reply!
Sincerely,
Danielle
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