Very nice story. I could see and feel the operation. The tension of the mag shroud's possible malfunction. The deliberation and then decision to push through. Nicely done. The heroics felt weighty and real not cartoonish.
Dialog seemed to fit a mining operation that is close to quotidian in some future.
One line/area felt very long:
In 2147, the asteroid belt hummed with industry, and on Vesta, miners Amanda Morris and Darlene Voght prepped for a bold experiment. Their target: a 500-meter nickel-iron asteroid, “Silver-17,” packed with platinum and volatile gases. Their mission: test a new magnetic containment bag their engineer, Jiro Tanaka, swore could revolutionize mining by dampening kinetic impact energy transfer, reducing damage to both equipment and the asteroid’s valuable crust.
I found myself running out of air as I read that... <lol>
This line was perhaps not entirely filled out?
Amanda, a wiry captain with a scar from a rogue drill bit
- Scar where..?
This line, although I could see the ship did not quite land right:
The Stellar Harvester, a hulking ship of grapplers and refineries,
- the ship is covered with the grapplers and refineries perhaps?
This line felt like it did not belong in a space setting. There is no gravity, no atmosphere etc.
hovered a kilometer from Silver-17,
- Floated maybe?
- Hovering seems to suggest that there are some inconstant forces at play...
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