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1,567 Public Reviews Given
1,812 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to be honest and write about how I feel and what I see. It doesn't mean I'm always right - it means I'm telling you how your work affects me. I'll try to tell you the good with the bad, but don't expect fluff. Fluff sucks.
I'm good at...
Looking at format, spelling and some punctuation...except commas. I hate commas.
Least Favorite Genres
Technical essays, overly detailed fantasies and poetry.
I will not review...
Items that show no obvious effort at editing before promoting for review. If you spell "i" instead of "I", I will close the page and not review it. We're not idiots here.
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello findingfeet Author Icon

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" Open in new Window.!
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:
Adorable story! I could feel Joel's panic and could hear Jilly's giggles

Suggestions: *Cut*
*Bullet* Put the word count in the entry post, I considered this since it was in the brief description
*Bullet* "Joe answered the door" ~ Joel
*Bullet* "child size slay" ~ sleigh
*Bullet*Shep, Joel and Sheila’s Malamute, ~ Construction - "Joel and Shep, Sheila's malamute"
*Bullet*Soybean ~ No capital

Overall: A fun story to read!

Writer's Cramp!


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2
2
Review of Sweetheart Sitter  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello ChristineB Author Icon

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" Open in new Window.!
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:
A sad story, but I liked the picture of devotion. I liked the thought of the world being "brilliant" and "fascinating". My suggestions are only regarding things that made me pause.

Suggestions: *Cut*
*Bullet*2nd stanza - Remove the "but" from two lines, not necessary

Overall:
A lovely poem to read.

Writer's Cramp!


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3
3
Review of WC 9/9  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello DS Author Icon

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" Open in new Window.!
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:
A clever poem, with the fun reveal at the end. My suggestions are merely things that made me pause, or for easier reading.

Suggestions: *Cut*
*Bullet*"And the things you need to do,"
*Bullet*"They'll just slobber over all her toys,"

Overall:
A very charming poem, I enjoyed.
Congratulations on the win!

Writer's Cramp!


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4
4
Review of Workers Unite  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello thereBdragons Author Icon

This was so cute! You did a great story in 300 words, I have to say. And this would almost qualify for dialog only contests.
I thought it was clever to not reveal they were ants until "two special guardian soldier ants".
I liked how the soldiers called the ant insignificant, but the queen knew his name.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* I stumbled on "ants order to".
*Bullet*"The two soldier ants and the Queen, stiffened." ~ no comma

So sad he had to die.

Overall, adorable story!


Regards,
Kim

** Image ID #2229589 Unavailable **


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5
5
Review of Wattle Day '50  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hello DS Author Icon

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" Open in new Window.!
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:
This was interesting to read, more of a throwback with 50 being now instead of the future. Clever. You met the prompt and added the genres, well done. This felt like it was historical.

*Heart*: "An angelic site where we can't yet post."

Suggestions: *Cut*
*Bullet*"'cross" ~ Could have been across.

Overall:
I liked the heavenly story.
Writer's Cramp!


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6
6
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello iKïyå§ama-Happy 25th! Author Icon

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" Open in new Window.!
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:
I loved that this was heartfelt tribute built into the story. You met the prompt and genres.

I so adored the virtual party! We need to do this before 50!

Suggestions: *Cut*
*Bullet*"carrying a vase brimming with the very blossoms the machine had been rambling about." ~ I might have missed the rambling?

Overall:
The sweetest tribute story, it really tugged on the heartstrings.
Writer's Cramp!


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7
7
Review of Wattle We Do  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello THANKFUL SONALI Party Hopping! Author Icon

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" Open in new Window.!
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:
This was the cutest poem!
It almost felt like a nursery rhyme we tell our children with hand gestures and everything.
You met the prompt requirements including the genres.

Suggestions: *Cut*
*Bullet*Perhaps dropnote the prompt at the end, later.

Overall:
This had me a chuckling, I really enjoyed this birthday poem! Congrats on your win, I'm glad you entered.
Writer's Cramp!


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8
8
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello ChristineB Author Icon

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" Open in new Window.!
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:
What a fun concept...plant to human translator! If only I had one for my houseplants *Sad* And how ironic a plant would enter Cramp!
No edit Suggestions: *Cut*
You met the criteria for word count and genres.

Overall:
Love the story.
Writer's Cramp!


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9
9
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Saša Milivojev Author Icon
Welcome to WDC!
Welcome to Writing.com!
How exciting you found our site on WDC's 25th birthday, all the way from Serbia!
I hope you join in the fun!

I found your item on the *Wdc-readreview* Read & Review link in the left column.
         This was a powerful read, each stanza suggesting an even more horrific atrocity of our times.

Suggestion for edit *Cut*:

*Bullet*"The end with the punishment" ~ Suggest only "The punishment"

Overall, a good strong write.


Regards,
Kim

** Image ID #2229589 Unavailable **


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10
10
Review of Ashes and stars  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello Passion Author Icon
Welcome to WDC! Welcome to WDC!
Loved this story, who doesn't love a bad boy character *Laugh*

A few suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*I'm old, my eyes are crappy and the tiny font strains them. There's a place to edit font size in the edit bar.
*Bullet*Line breaks are good, yours seem large.
*Bullet*If you wrote this to enter a contest, it's handy to link the contest {item:xxxxxx} so reviewers can look at the prompt, etc.

Overall, my comments are offered in good spirit and helpfulness.


Regards,
Kim

** Image ID #2229589 Unavailable **


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11
11
Review of A Piece of Cake  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello LoneWolf Author Icon
Welcome to WDC!First off, welcome to Writing.com, I hope you're finding your way around okay.

This was a nice little scenario. I liked the added touch of patriotism. You did well incorporating the prompt words.
The wry humor made me smile, well done.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, a good write, I hope you did well in the contest.


Regards,
Kim

Image #2229589 over display limit. -?-


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12
12
Review of JUST ME  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Mary Ann MCPhedran Author Icon

Thank you for sharing this; it gave me a chuckle. I got to know the narrator in so few lines and can relate, especially people watching. It's such a delight finding these little happy nuggets in the Read & Review.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*

Overall, always lovely to find good things from our members to enjoy. Thank you for all you share and do in our community.


Regards,
Kim

** Image ID #2229589 Unavailable **


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13
13
Review of Mabel And The Mob  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello W.D.Wilcox Author Icon
As always, you never let me down, your stories amuse. We always wonder what we'd do with a suitcase of money. Don't we? I always say if I won the lottery, I'd travel.


Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* The only suggestion would change Murray from mumbling to trying to shout when Mabel makes her quick exit.

Overall, a great read, thanks for sharing.

Regards,
Kim

** Image ID #2229589 Unavailable **


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14
14
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
Hello Princess Megan Rose Author Icon

I love this list! It reminds me of all the great Prince songs.
I can't believe he'll be gone 10 years in April. Opioids have taken out so many talented people.
I liked how you did the font in purple (of course).

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*#5 - the title is "I Could Never Take The Place of Your Man" on the album Sign 'O' The Times.
*Bullet*Perhaps describe how he influenced you life.

Overall, great list! Thanks for sharing.

Regards,
Kim

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15
15
Review of Creation  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Emlyn Author Icon

This poem made me chuckle. I did like the format and the ending statement. It reminds me of the thing my father asked me when I was a child. "Where does the white go when the snow melts?" It drove us crazy. The other one was, "If spiders make spiderwebs, what makes cobwebs?"

No suggestions for edit *Cut*

Overall, a fun poem to read, thanks for sharing.


Regards,
Kim

** Image ID #2229589 Unavailable **


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16
16
Review of God  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Arnak Author Icon

I was a bit confused about the topic of the poem. At first read, one could assume it's about cannibalism or dolcet. Reading further, 'flesh and wine' lead me to think about religion, communion, and the last supper.

I guess it all depends on the reader and their personal interpretation. And that's the purpose, I would guess

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"Gods" ~ suggest "God's"
*Bullet*"Put The Lord on my plate." and "Now The Creator's" ~ no need to capitalize "The"

Overall, an interesting poem.

Regards,
Kim

** Image ID #2229589 Unavailable **


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17
17
Review of Eight Years  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello Nikita Devoue Author Icon

Oh I can feel the angst of the narrator of this poem. Funny how time and distance can either turn something into a fond memory, or completely forgettable! Even if it was something unhappy, I try to find something positive to remember.

If this was a poetic form, I don't recognize it. (If it is, perhaps put it at the bottom?)

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, a lovely image you painted.


Regards,
Kim

** Image ID #2229589 Unavailable **


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18
18
Review of Linguistic Stew  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Dave Author Icon

I love finding an older piece in the Read & Review feature.

You did great following the Epulaeryu form and making it about food! Sorta. *Laugh* I enjoyed the twist of it being about words. Well done!

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:
I'm not a poet, so I can't comment on forms and intent of the form, just how it made me feel.

Overall, a delight to taste and read.


Regards,
Kim

** Image ID #2229589 Unavailable **


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19
19
Review of The Slave  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Writer's Cramp Judges ...  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Andrew W Author Icon

Thanks for entering "The Writer's Cramp" Open in new Window.!
I understand this is a short contest and take that into consideration, so please take these comments and suggestions as merely my opinion of what was posted.

Comments:

This felt more like a beginning chapter or hook to a bigger story, I hope you add more. I'd suggest taking advantage of the 1000 word count and writing more next time. I could see a hint like a wound on one of the character's arms or something like that.

Suggestions: *Cut*
*Bullet*Write more, it sounds interesting!


Overall:
A chilling beginning.

Writer's Cramp!


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20
20
Review of The Next Victim  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello Prof Moriarty Author Icon
Wow! Not the twist I expected. This started so sweet and then turned quite evil. I always wonder what inspired the story.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* The line where the child turned on the mother, I had to read twice. It was surprising it would use rough language.

Overall, an interesting twist and well written, thanks for posting.


Regards,
Kim

** Image ID #2229589 Unavailable **


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21
21
Review of My Perfect Life  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Jacky Author Icon

This is such a charming little story. I wouldn't have guessed the ending and assumed it would be about a dog.
It made me think of when I put a fence in my backyard to safeguard my pool. It was 6ft wooden and felt like a wall around my yard.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* Add a little dialog?

Overall, which fence did you choose? *Bigsmile*


Regards,
Kim

** Image ID #2229589 Unavailable **


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22
22
Review of Sexy Mama  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Pensivity Author Icon

A sad little write, but an honor to your pup. It's amazing how they can give birth without coaching, classes, or a mate to help.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* I'd love to read more about her time with you, the puppies and how you gained her trust.

Overall, I like to read about people and the animals in their lives. Thanks for posting.


Regards,
Kim

** Image ID #2229589 Unavailable **


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23
23
Review of Color Me Slowly  Open in new Window.
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Joel Author Icon

Love all the color imagery in this poem. I love the colors lilac and lavender. The soft colors suit the poem.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"something held" gave me pause, perhaps give that some thought

Overall, a beautiful writing, I enjoyed this.


Regards,
Kim

** Image ID #2229589 Unavailable **


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24
24
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Hello Christopher Roy Denton Author Icon

I'm not a formal poet so I'll give you my impressions only, and let the experts talk about meter and such.

I loved all the images you created, the only thing I wished for was some cohesiveness to the images. In one line you speak about silky smooth sheets, later sweet scents - maybe have them in the same stanza?

That's all I have for the moment, thank you for sharing your work.

Overall, great imagery. Well done.


Regards,
Kim

** Image ID #2229589 Unavailable **


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25
25
Review by Legerdemain Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Hello PureSciFiPlus Author Icon

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Short Shots: Official WDC Contest" Open in new Window.. Thanks for entering!

This had so much to unpack in what felt like a first chapter of a book. You did a good job showing your characters and introducing the scenario they are situated in.
The hook is 'what's in those bags?' We know it's not just food but something valuable?
The last paragraph had some great action.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*The semantics of positions in the part where Linda holds the young children needs to be clearer.
*Bullet*What was the point of not showing what was in the bags and why bury it?


Overall, interesting beginning. Glad you entered.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1558342 Unavailable **




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Printed from https://web1.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/legerdemain