I really liked how this starts the opening sentence is an excellent hook -No one knew how the boats got there; they just appeared overnight as if by magic. We were all stunned. We had been on this island for what seemed like an eternity, maybe it was an eternity-
It made me want to keep reading, I wanted to know where they came from, who and what they were.
The character, Samantha, I want to know more about here and the three she had been paired with. You did in excellent job of making her a very important character. Even with the bit of dialogue she had, I was engaged.
The things I would suggest working on the seconds paragraph explaining the boats.
there were eight boats, all rowboats; about eight to nine feet long and maybe three feet wide in the middle. For me, this seems like a rough sentence I would maybe cut it down with just, "There were eight bots, all rowboats" That statement alone lets me know exactly what they are. The rest of the sentence feels marbled.
I would also take out the word, "Suddenly" in the 6th paragraph.
Personally, I would love it if you expanded on this. I want to know what happened with Samantha, did she jump from the plane? Also, I want to know the other 3 she was with? Were they suicides as well? Sinners? If so, what did they do? Also, what happened on the island that made them want to leave?
First off, Cheers! I'm very new at writing reviews, I'll try and be constructive as possible.
I like prose a lot. I usually only write short prose stories like this one.
You do well at projecting the internal struggle of the Author, being trapped under ice, fighting to escape, succeed.
However, paragraphs like this,
"My body stops with a sudden jolt, against something hard and cold. Horror quickly turns to despair, as I realize that the hard substance trapping me underneath here is ice. Freezing, unforgiving ice. I try hard to break through, pressing my hand against it. With an icy chill, a torrent of emotions and memories race through me. Painting the sad picture of what got me here, I realize where I am. I created this place. A shield against the passions of life. A wave of bitter sadness washes over my battered soul, as the realization of my imprisonment becomes clear. Despite the futility of my actions, I continue to hit and bang at the ice. I can't stay here. I just can't..."
Instead of telling me that emotions and memories come to you, show me that they do. Are you crying? Screaming? Remembering better days? Worse days?
Those are my only criticisms. Other than that, good job!
Look forward to reading more.
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