Excellent piece! I like that, every couple of lines, I stopped and assessed what I'd just read. Does this apply to me, too? If so, how? If not, why? I'm going to copy this to my PC so I can revisit it occasionally.
Excellent piece, with a perfect ending. One note that might already have been addressed: the zero in "the 0sound of the impossible about to become real."
Very well done! I ignored the importance of a higher education, and paid the price with a mediocre existence that lasted until I wised up and earned a degree ten years later.
As an atheist, I'm afraid I can't support your final comment. However, the rest of the peace is frighteningly on target for today's America. Excellent work!
Interesting story. I easily could picture the scene. And I liked the idea of the boys preparing their own meals. I went camping a few times when I was in the Boy Scouts, but in an area of central NY where there were no bears. And it was so long ago that I don't remember who prepared the meals, but I'm guessing they were nothing special.
One problem I found with your tale was the final sentence. I don't get the rake reference.
I'm curious whether or not you wrote this for a specific challenge. At first I wasn't sure if you were trying to make a point (and what that point might be). But looking through it a second time helped me just appreciate it as an interesting look into two personalities – yours and the subject.
Nicely quirky. I was curious what caused the situation (who wouldn't be?), and initially assumed it would be something either very odd or quite normal. But it worked better as you wrote it - no explanation.
Exceptional! I liked the mystery of 'why is Sam here'? And I particularly liked "Sam mows down another three cookies." But I agree that lavender cookies sound disgusting.
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