This story seems to have gone on forever. You have established that Dani is a writer of fantasy. Her brother hates her writing. She is upset at this happening to her. She speaks her mind to explain what she is feeling toward her brother.
Her sibling tells her that her other siblings love her work. They tell her to relax her brother does not know what he is talking about.
She is in a place where she does not feel comfortable in being in. This environment is something she does not feel that any woman should be. It is a grocery store for sex.
She wants to be comfortable, in selecting her mate. Not like this, she wouldn't mind taking the man who can't stand her work to bed one day. But not like this.
you have brought to us the induction of a military unit and how one handles it. The description is acturate with what they do to make you into a soldier. The training and the drill is accurate for a similation into a unit.
You are honored to join the unit. You are able to allow the people non military to understand what you have to do to become a soldier.
It is well written. It felt similar to the indocturanation I took long ago.
beautiful. The way that you have brought this to life is accurate. You have accepted someone to love, who finds you are worth it. Very well written. Your words are true. Love sweet angel love you.
The story is able to allow the reader to understand what a novelist would feel if he was asked to help his son or daughter to write a story with his help.
He did not do this, because he felt that his work would be better than anyone else's story thanks to his knowledge of these facts in writing.
The writer did not feel that he should do this to his son. You have been able to allow the reader to undersatnd the perdictament that his son would face this fact.
The way you have written this is good. You have us feel the emotion that Harold is feeling toward the man who rules over the people there. He knows their pain, he udnerstands what they are feeling. You have been able to allow us to understand these details before the reader.
You have allowed us to undersatnd these details as you have disclosed to us, by speaking of the injuries that the king has had to accept. Good work.
This investigation is going on. They still have no idea as to who they suspect them to find the murder. The officers are doing a lot of leg work there. You have brought us a good story to read, you have a good mind for mystery. Keep at it. You will get her done.
I enjoy the way that you have described what they are looking into these two cases. They have to find a straw that stands out and gives them a clue. Great work.
This is good. The feds are involved in the case, they believe that the two cases are similar in appearance, and how they killed the felons is similar. They haven't got a clue as to who was up to what. The survaliance is sound, it looked to be actually better than what these two sheriff's could have done here. You have created a complaining story here. I want to know more about te case.
This is omnious and fear filled/ The way that you have described what you were feeling as you watched the house being destroyed. You remember them. They are your friends. They have vanished inside the hosue where you had gone. You were able to imagine what they were doing? When you lost sight of them,
This is very dark nightmare that you have been giving us. I hope you are okay.
That was good. The little girl and her cat find an invisible craft. This is very interesting the girl is surprised as she finds that there was an invisible to see. She feels the door of the craft. She handles the knob so she got into the vehicle. The vehicle was turned on, when she looked in the direction that it was flying in this way.
The way that you have been able to explain what your daughter has seen,
This long, you have been able to have us want to know more about the MC.You have given us quite a few details as you have been able to allow us to understand the character. The character had to find a way to avoid the police from finding him.
You are able to allow the reader to see where he had gone to protect himself from capture. The way that you have been able to allow us to know these details. He has to steal another car and he does this. He also removed money from his and her account. He is pretty sure. She will be mad at him as she was wanting to sleep with another man, so he killed her lover.
A copper catches up with him and does not arrest him. He lets him walk away from him.
This is a good defination of what ghosra are or can be. You have given us details that many might not realize at specters. The details are good, you have been able to bring the reader to understand these details that you have been writing about. Thank you for the information that you have supplied to them,
This is good, I did not expect the lad to gain the wolves to help them scare off the guards of the Lord. This is good, the lad no longer has to work for the king, he now has a bride and some protection from the prince who may desire him to be killed for not doing as he was supposed to. He has the king's bride as his own. Things are looking up for him
This is different, the scientists who released the octupi were fired, by the aquarium. The octupi is released into the ocean they were willing to have the octupi join the rest of their mates. You are able to allow us to understand what you have written here. I have found it to be worth the read.
nThis was interesting, the fool is very well practiced in sword play. The guard went there to bring him back, the lad was unable to allow his fool to to fight for him. The fool begins to fence with the guard. He shows how practiced he is in sword play. He removed the armor from the person he is facing by using his sword to remove it. The way that you have described this to us is good. You did not allow us to learn of his dismay until the fool handed back his sowrd to the soldier whom he took it from. This is very well crafted.
This is very good. You have shown us what the Russian soldiers were like. The officer wanted to keep his unit alive. If they were caught, he wanted to protect his soldiers. They saw a panzer tank rolling toward with a group of soldiers with them.
You are able to have us experience what emotions he is feeling. When he saw the documents that one of his unit was willing to carry it toward the german soldiers, he wanted to surrender to the germans, turn the documents over to them. He would be accepted as a person desiring to join them in the battle with Russian.
The officer wanted to destroy the documents rather than turning them over to the Germans. But his hope was denied.
This is very good. So, the bunny has been accepted into a witch's house thanks to a cat who took him there. You are able to allow the reader to understand how the bunny was feeling. Being lost encountering a dog who was barking its head off. She is caught by the cat who takes her throuhh thw woods to arive at the house of the witch having accepted her inside the house. It was heart warming story you have written here.
this was very good. It showed what an artist can see in the figures she is painting. Her visions showed ill settings. She wanted to allow the people to see the good, that she could not envision this in her pictures.
A manuscript alledgely written by her showed what she wished the world to be instead of what she drew there. You have been able to allow us to understand what termoil she was in when she drew these pictures.
hi,
These three chapters seem to have come from no where. The first is describing the scene of another attack in the community. An FBI officer is speaking at a lecture, this may provide us with some knowledge of who she is and why she's involved.
The police officer is at home talking with his wife about their children. One of the children is excepted into a high school with a lot going for it and their son is there going to it.
We have met some of the drug dealers as they discuss the matter of how to sell their merchandise and what rate to sell it at. They are concerned that they should make some money,
This is very well written. Imagining that her father wasn't dead, not listening to the teacher and the person who told her, that he was. The reason she believed that he wasn't dead is because they hadn't found a body there that was his.
She believed he was alive, because of that happening. It sounds like mining accidents on earth as well. The people who are mining become lost in the mines when they cave in. You are able to allow us to realize how they are feeling toward the possible deaths that can occur there. This story is very good. Keep at it.
This is different. A time traveller arrives in a tavern. Talks to a woman who likes him. He tells her that he will vanish and she will not be able to findhim afterwards.
She looked at the picture that was taken of him and her, she sees herself in the photo.
The other people are afraid of vampires arriving there, This story is very good.
This is very good. I recognize what your talking about, the decline of the shops on the coast line. Relying upon the things that they can bring in from the ships that have refused to come to the community.
Small towns wait for supplies to come, but what if they don't come. I lived on bases which were small but there was enough of us to keep the community alive. Without the bases there was no reason for them to be there aside from the bases.
You are able to allow us to understand the plight of the small communities who rely upon the government funding.
you seem to have a difficulty with your margins. You should try to move the margin to the left center. You are able to create a good story. You have been able to do this. The tale is interesting.
Your character stumbles in the fairy realm. He doesn't know why he is there. A fey is questioning his arrival here. He is alarmed as is she? They wish for him to return to his realm. You have done a remarkable job here. Keep up the good work you are doing here,
This is very good. The squirrel wantws a walnut that fell and broke on the ground. He sees it and tries to find someone to help him do this. As he was looking around trying to find a way to get the walnut. By using his friends to do this.
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