The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Could be smoother. The places where you tell us Teresa's thoughts do not flow well. I understand that you might be attempting to replicate Teresa's muddled thinking given her miserable circumstances but you might want to rework some of the places and use complete sentences.
The Plot: A sinister story of a woman who is held captive by a some sort of a demonic creature.
What I enjoyed? The idea is unique. The metallic objects on which Teresa falls made me curious to know what they actually were. What a revelation they turned out to be!
Friendly Suggestions: Some grammatical errors could be corrected. Some examples:-
You write: it had been ages since had last stood up.
Suggestions: it had been ages since she had last stood up.
You write: and each intake of breath meet a jarring stab of pain from beatings to her torse and abdomen.
Suggestion: and each intake of breath met a jarring stab of pain from beatings to her torso and abdomen.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: A story of an eccentric neighbor who indulges in a peculiar pastime.
What I enjoyed? I could guess that this was written for a prompt pertaining to including certain keywords which have been highlighted in bold font. Your story was intelligent, innovative and interesting. You used the keywords weel. The end was humorous.
Friendly Suggestions: None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: High quality writing. Not very easy to understand. Needs focused reading but is a pleasure to read.
The Plot: A story of a human who gets invited to a party thrown by a pixie queen.
What I enjoyed? I was enchanted at the way Marsden gets a makeover to attend the pixie party. The way he impresses everyone by his singing skills was an endearing read. The hint of a romance at the end was sweet and enchanting.
Friendly Suggestions: I would be curious to know what happens to Alfie and Paris when Marsden goes to attend the pixie party. Don't they start looking for their master and get distressed at his abasence?
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: A story from Hindu mythology expounding the virtues of one of the avatars of Lord Vishnu.
What I enjoyed? This story is from my memories of childhood days. Prahlad is one of the greatest devotees of Lord Vishnu, the supreme power. His story is an inspiration to all to never lose hope when evil seems to be insurmountable. In the end virtuosity and truth will always prevail.
Friendly Suggestions: Prahlad's mother was Kayadhu and not Leela. Of course, you should verify this yourself and make any change if you deem fit.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Simple and easy to understand.
The Plot: A kindly resident treats with kindness an Alzheimer patient who has forgotten his way.
What I enjoyed? The end was completely unexpected. You tugged a chord in my heart. Your story gives a glimpse into the terrifying life of an Alzheimer patient. It is such a cruel disease which renders the afflicted completely helpless.
Friendly Suggestions: None.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: A fantasy tale of a mermaid who has taken a human form.
What I enjoyed? The end was unexpected. You caught me completely unaware.
Friendly Suggestions: There are some loose ends you need to tie up. Otherwise, Anna comes across as selfish and self-centered. If she suddenly decides to revert to her mermaid form, what happens to her kinds - Sandy and Erin. She is lose bothered about them just like she is not concerned about leaving behind her husband who adores her.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: The language is complex and not easy to understand. But it is worth the effort because the writer has experimented with a difficult style of writing.
The Plot: A mother laments for the death of her cherished son.
What I enjoyed? This was really haunting piece. You have given words to one of the most devastating losses that any human could experience - the passing away of a child. Even though the child might be an adult, he (she) shall forever remain a child for the parent. The manner and setting of the death makes the poem even more poignant
Friendly Suggestions: None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language:Easy to understand.
The Plot: A very young male dragon makes friendship with a female dragon and also with a boy.
What I enjoyed? What made me read your story was the warning that you included in the item description. We are always drawn to the forbidden, aren't we? This was an unusual story. While it was nice that the boy dragon finds a girlfriend (eh! a fenale dragonfriend ), I was not too happy about him killing the human lady in the beginning.
Friendly Suggestions: Try to avoid killing the lady. That would make your character much more likeable.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Smooth and easy to understand.
The Plot: A fantasy tale of child who visits places in her sleep.
What I enjoyed? I quite liked your tale. It is bold, innovative and really fanciful (mean that in the positive sense). I feel like developing on this unique story but I won't because that would be plagiarism, isn't it? . Anyway, kudos to your imagination.
Friendly Suggestions: None.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Simple and easy to understand.
The Plot: A poem dwelling on the complexity of a woman's mind.
What I enjoyed? You made a good effort at rhyming. The part where you compare the intricacies of football with the daunting task of deciphering a woman's mind made me smile. I am still curious to know why the girl cried. Have you been able to discover the reason? Would be interesting to know.
Friendly Suggestions: None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Lucid and smooth.
The Plot: This is a beautiful tale of a young mother who struggles to take care of her infant child.
What I enjoyed? I am not a woman but I could fully understand the angst and pain of motherhood. You story was so well written that I was left rooting for the main character. You made me pray that the baby after having been fed did not cause any trouble. It was such a relief when it fell asleep and the hapless mother could find some relief in the arms of sleep. A great short tale wonderfully told.
Friendly Suggestions: None.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Smooth and easy to understand.
The Plot: An outstanding horror story involving an intruder and a blind girl whose mother he has killed (in all probability).
What I enjoyed? This was such a chillin g tale. The end came totally unexpected and took my breath away. It took me a few moments for the entire import to sink in. How dreadful for the helpless girl. And you manage this in such few words. Great work.
Friendly Suggestions: None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Smooth and easy to understand.
The Plot: A clever play on the well know Beauty and the Beast story.
What I enjoyed? I enjoyed the entire story of Lucia being granted her wish and being made to suffer because of the same. Your story reminds me of the oft quoted phrase "Be careful what you wish for." You are able to successfully weave together a fantasy tale involving witches, wishes, curses, Prince and beast. What a heady concoction for one who loves this genre.
Friendly Suggestions: None.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: A nurse describes her experience if undergoing a surgery instead of participating in one.
What I enjoyed? I liked the two contrasting experiences you describe - the first is when you seem to be having a blast and the second is when you portray your misery. I also liked the humor in these two sentences
I advocate all medical personnel to have at least one invasive procedure performed annually (just kidding).
I suspect something's taken up residence in my hair.
Friendly Suggestions: I will confess that I am a bit confused with your story. When you first have the blast, are you hallucinating? Or is it real and because of how you binge, you suffer?
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: The conversation was slightly difficult to follow for a non-American like me but I managed to get by.
The Plot: A story written for a contest where the principal prompt is the find the directions to a restaurant.
What I enjoyed? The good part is that you included the prompt in your story. I wish I had done that for the various stories I had written for various prompts. You pulled off the task with aplomb because the prompts were difficult and restrictive. You also weaved in humor beautifully. I had a good laugh at the "fart" and the query on what caused it.
Friendly Suggestions: None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand. I also appreciate the effort taken by you to make the alternate lines rhyme.
The Plot: A heart wrenching poem on the sacrifice of a soldier on a foreign land where he dies unsung and forgotten.
What I enjoyed? Your poem stirred up deep emotional feelings within me. It is true that we take our freedom for granted and rarely appreciate the sacrifice that goes behind it. Sacrifices made by ordinary men and women many of whom suffer in silence.
Friendly Suggestions: None.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Colorful and vivid.
The Plot: A poem on the beauties of nature
What I enjoyed? This was a refreshing small piece describing the myriad treasures of Mother Earth. I particularly liked the fact that your poem dwelled on the jewels concealed in the depths of the ocean. I enjoyed the use of colors in your poem - turquoise, yellow, pink, blue, green etc.
Friendly Suggestions: None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: A humorous tale where a mother and her son bicker over and accuse each other of something for which neither of them is responsible.
What I enjoyed? I liked the argument between the son and mother and the funny way in which it ended. It is avoid to read about such nice family dramas in an age where most families are drifting apart.
Friendly Suggestions: None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot:A spooky tale of a woman who meets a strange lady in a decrepit house who insists on calling her a sister. Both women are trapped by a monstrous male.
What I enjoyed? The story piqued my curiosity and I would be keen to know the identity of the characters. Your descriptions are graphic.
Friendly Suggestions:You may consider cutting down on the violence. It made me uncomfortable.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: A story in the fantasy genre where an accursed couple transfer their curse to an unsuspecting pair of lovers.
What I enjoyed? This is such a sad tale. How cruel for Jessie and Josh who enter the dilapidated house just by chance. Or maybe they were under a spell cast by Sita and her lover. The end is so haunting and scary!
Friendly Suggestions: The part where Sita and Dimitro transfer their curse to Jessie and Josh has to be explained with more clarity.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: A little girl ventures out to explore a creepy decrepit house which is situated near to her home.
What I enjoyed? You hooked me right at the beginning. I enjoy tales of haunted houses and this one just hit the right chord. You built up enough suspense and tension.
Friendly Suggestions: The ending did not go down well with me. I thought that you were constrained by a word limit. However, I would consider you to flesh out the details a bit after the contest ends.
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is 4.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand
The Plot: An autobiography written by a little child.
What I enjoyed?This was a really sweet story. It says crib which means that the entire story has been written from the POV of an infant. How so very lovely! I enjoyed all the ruminations of the kid. For a moment, you had me worried that something bad had happened to her parents .I am so happy that it worked out so well for her.
Friendly Suggestions:None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot:This is an excerpt from a diary. The date and time are mentioned in the beginning. The time means that this story was crafted right after the cruise.
What I enjoyed?This is a nice story of fun and frolic being indulged in by a group of middle- aged ladies. I enjoyed the scenes of fun and gaiety that you recreated. The sights of New York were vividly described. There was no complication in the story, no hidden agendas being pursued by anybody. It was just plain fun.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Though written in verse, the words are well-spun together and easily comprehensible.
The Plot: This poem is a legend of two lovers who could not unite in life but did so in death and the afterlife.
What I enjoyed? There is a wonderful plot in your poem. It was like reading a story in the fantasy genre. How the two lovers meet, how they are killed and how they unite in the afterlife made for a fascinating reading. Your poem had me hooked right from the first stanza.
Friendly Suggestions: None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
The following is my humble feedback on your work:-
The Language: Easy to understand.
The Plot: A poem written by a lady who is spurned by her lover. She expresses her anguish but at the same time determines to move on.
What I enjoyed? Tales (Poems) on unrequited love always cause me pain. Nothing can be harsher. It is still better if your loved one simply ignores you. But instead if he tortures and humiliates you, it multiplies the tragedy manifold. The end where the woman resolved to move on and wait for the right man in her love fills me with hope and contentment.
Friendly Suggestions: None
I give a 5 rating to all stories I review so as to not diminish the appeal of your story for other readers. My actual rating is also 5.
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), I was not too happy about him killing the human lady in the beginning.
