if there's one thing common between your writings that I've red so far: they have quite the warmth to them, and this one is no different. thank you for sharing
great choice of words. and again, nice lines to wrap it up. as for the topic itself: it sucks to see others screw up the way you did right? sucks even more when you want to help them but they refuse that help, and sucks the most when the person in question is a loved one. but what can we do outside of giving them a hand, even though they refused? really in such situations i wish i could do more but oh well some things are just not meant to be. maybe there are not that much lessons to pick from such situations, but one thing should remain: if we CAN offer help to those who need let's not make past experiences prevent that (unless they are really traumatising). offer it, and up to them whether to accept or not. yet another good poem from you, keep going.
honestly coming across this at almost 4am is such a delight. you've got a knack for writing poems it seems. i like this so much from the title to description to the poem itself: they all fit together. nice rhythm with a good choice for words that all fit the topic. the last 3 lines in particular are probably the best closers for this poem, wouldn't change them. welcome to WDC, glad to have you here and hope to see even more interesting pieces you write in the future
Congrats for passing, and this was definitely a fun way to sort of express it. i'm not a native English speaker myself but come onnnn, English exams are boring/ easy most of the time so at least relax in those. if there are more exams hope they go well.
have a nice day.
Hi there, welcome to WDC, hope you have a good time here.
this one can use some more words, but hey if that's how much your mind wanted to spill at that moment then we can't complain can we?
I like the topic, and the lines written fit well, having a beautiful simplicity in them.
As for the topic itself: not in all cases is waiting the only thing we can do. for example, when wanting a family there are basic things to be prepared. from having a work, to working on yourself to be a mother or father the children can learn from and depend on and a person your partner can rely on. and the waiting part here is finding you partner, getting that job after applying to it etc...you know, the things that you worked for and can only now wait for results of your work. that's one example ofc. and in response to waiting to start a new life: having the will to do so is the biggest sign you can have. and as in previous example: you work on yourself and wait for results.
Not sure if waiting creates hope, but i know that when we wait for things, beautiful things: we wait with hope. a lot of us tend to just stay still and wait without doing what they can first, which is honestly sad. as change most of the time is depending on us taking that first action if you know what i mean. naturally there are things we can only help but hope and wait for, which includes everything out of our control: from recovering health after having had treatment, to waiting for the safe return of loved ones. and in all cases: waiting is most effective when coupled with enough patience, because sometimes people think they waited enough for something and then abandon it, only to realise later that they were so close to having it and only needed to stay a little longer. on the flip side: there is what we call "waiting too much", which is waiting for things we had knowledge they won't be coming. as such: one needs to know what to wait for, how long to wait for it, and whether it is actually something worth the wait or not.
You probably knew that much, and in case not then i hope this was a fruitful response. Thanks for your writing, and have a nice day.
gratitude is rare, and one expressed like this is even more rare. and the contrast here is quite beautiful: "i've forgotten all about you" yet you remembered how they helped and the effort they spent. whether fictional or from personal experience this is still a beautiful way to recognize effort. simple title with meaningful lines arranged in a perfect order. really liked this one, glad i found something you wrote that i could review. sometimes i feel like i don't have the "skills" to do a proper review or unable to understand/ appreciate a writing . but this is one of those writings that feel like "just say your thoughts faced with such words". thank you for your "thank you". and i'm eager to see more pieces like this. have a nice day.
hi there. i'm actually interested with this topic. first: nice poem but could use more words and rhythm in my opinion. second: "No one is truly far" is an interesting line. far from what? redemption? i hope you explain if possible. when it comes to 2nd chances though, i believe that not everyone deserves them. some mistakes require a divine level of wisdom and empathy to be forgiven, and sadly we don't have that, and i think that those who claim to have such wisdom are just delusional. of course, we should also give 2nd chances to those who try to change, and who can actually make up for what they did. but honestly how many want to change but are actually willing to act upon it? thank you for your writing, and have a nice day. P.S: check out this writing of mine, seems to be about the same topic.
a sinner's vow (E) forgiveness is not for every sinner. but for those who can atone why not grant it? #2336434 by Howl
nice Rythm, and a good flow of words. could be better by adding some more lines or switching words.
as for the topic: well 8 years are a long time for sure, but departures and heart breaks are usually overcome through time. life does not stop for anyone, so it continues one should give himself proper care, and i hope you do so too.
have a nice day, and welcome to WDC
i never understood haiku to be honest...but they do have a peaceful feeling to them, at least for me. thank you for sharing, here is one i came across in a game:
Solitary cloud,
Shadow in the setting sun,
Stirs the drifter's heart.
Hello there, and welcome to WDC. you're a 16 yr old young lady from what i understood (and if not correct me later) so i think i understand where you're coming from with this writing. now when it comes to news and politics, here is my point of view as someone older, in hopes that it helps you. so, you got the news on instagram so let's make it clear: social media is NOT the place you go to for important/ detailed news, especially if that news is given to you by random people/ people not known for bringing accurate details. second: even if we suppose the news you heard about voting is true, then what? you are 16. i don't know where you live so can't assume anything but the way i see it this is not something you have to worry about NOW. it is good to care about what happens in your society but it should not come at the expense of what you have to do NOW, like studies, living healthy, building connections etc. so first of all i say take care of what is actually on your plate NOW, and then when you grow up, with financial stability and a mind that experienced enough events you can turn to things about society and not just care about them but act as well, within your capabilities of course. for now, watch from afar, don't stress about things unless you REALLY can't help it, focus on yourself and build yourself like i said so that in the future you may have the power to act against/ with things that matter. but trying to act now or care too much about what you have no power over is not only a waste of time in my opinion, but also a waste of energy. in the end keep a reminder: don't trust one source, or one side of the story and always try to see things from different perspective so that you may build a proper understanding about anything. have a nice day
wonderful. personally, i think some words can be changed to make lines hit stronger. but i guess when it comes to writing about love it's always the first words that come to mind that hold the most value. on a side note: maybe people can't unlove sometimes, but through time the shackles of such love begin to rust until they eventually break. nothing lasts forever, that is probably one of the few constants in a world full of variables like ours.
have a nice day.
welcome to WDC diana, nice to meet you. your English is decent, still missing some words in a sentence here and there but still good. keep practicing, and i would suggest you start with poetry. you can also review other writers here just like they can review you. i hope you get well. you're still young, so there is a lot in life ahead to learn, never let depression take the better of you and embrace life with both the good and the bad. have a nice day
hi there.
the overall message is nice. some words seem to be missing / typos in some sentences.
welcome to WDC, you'll get than hang of it soon. also try to make your font size bigger, it helps here, when writing something there are a bunch of options above you can choose from, one of them is "sSS" icon which controls size, you need to select the text you want first in order to apply the size. i would say size 4 is enough.
Have a nice day, and keep improving.
not bad. at least this stands out among the other stuff i red about death here. and unlike most of them this piece actually gives a positive to thinking about death which is something really underrated nowadays. keep up, your choice of words seems to be on spot too.
here's something i wrote about death, hope you like it:
what are the chances? i was just talking to someone with the same thoughts in their mind. now as for the poem, i guess you couldn't have used better words to describe this kind of feeling. as for the message itself, idk your age or circumstances but i will say the following, in hopes it helps: some things were never meant to be in our lives. and at times we turn ourselves to slaves to them despite knowing full well we can't have them. my advice to you is to live on regardless. it will be hard, but time heals such things. i've seen it, i've tried it. build your life on solid basics as you go, and the rest is like decorations, feel free to buy them when you can afford them, but before buying: make sure you guarantee their quality, or in other words: don't add things to sensitive parts of your life without guarantees they will stay / last as long as you want them to
for me this an improvement from "an ocean's modest love story". though again it would do better with just a little more rhythm. as for the imagery of nature the style seems to be going in a good direction. keep up, though I think it's time you try something new. the theme of love still has more corners to explore and more "fun" ways to write about it.
usually putting a rating on something that seems to reflect the writer's inner thoughts (especially un-answered wishes or doubts) is a bit hard, like since when you rate feelings? still the 4 stars rating on this one is purely for the lack of more words. but the message was nicely delivered. and on a personal note: if there is good in a wish then it will be fulfilled, it's only a matter of time, so patience. and for future writings i recommend either more expressive or longer lines. either of those is a nice way to both make a better writing AND express yourself better. if there are things you can't say well enough then write about them as much as you can instead.
Nice one. I like the topic and the words you choose here to handle it fit it almost perfectly. personally, I say don't make a habit of writing short lines, in poems at least. although I don't mind seeing them as long as they fit well. the problem is that when they don't fit: they seem like words thrown like that after running out of ideas. as for the topic this is a nice reflection. in life you indeed will have to come across at least one person who neglects you and when they ask about you after a long time: it's only because they need something, so it's both neglect and selfishness in one package lol. keep writing, and have a nice day.
simple, beautiful, though could use some improvements. personally, I would add more rhythms to it. but given how simple your choice of words and structuring is i would say this shows a decent level of honesty, which is perhaps what adds to its beauty. keep writing, and i hope that should you have a reunion it would be soon, and should you stay apart from your loved one then may it be for the best, and may what is to come be better.
well written, and a familiar writing style which makes it even more interesting to me. been a while since I've seen a beautiful imagery such as this. the only "complaint" I might have is the emoticons, for me they tend to draw attention away a little from the lines, but overall beautiful, keep writing like this.
i like it, for something you wrote on a whim it's a good start. in future poems try removing the numbers, you know those 1) and 2) etc, as well as the "END" part. for me they make a poem less engaging, and a poem is like that one type of writing you want to be engaging the most. and as for the title well how about "the present of present". or maybe it sounds dull XD? anyway, for a teen this is a nice start in poetry, and i hope you give that genre more attention, it's a relaxing way of expression: like venting out but also challenging yourself to do it elegantly. may you have a peaceful life my friend.
it sure is delightful, though the rather biblical words threw me off a bit since I'm not used to seeing them (English is not my first language after all). but overall, I liked the way it's written. wish you well in future writings.
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