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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece, Something About an Old Window, is quietly beautiful in its simplicity. It feels like a small captured moment — the kind of quiet scene that holds more emotion than it first seems. The writing carries a sense of calm observation, almost meditative, and that works perfectly with the imagery of the lace curtain, the cracked paint, and the still cat.

What stands out most is the atmosphere you create. You manage to evoke that bittersweet mix of nostalgia and loneliness without ever saying it outright. The details about the cracked white paint and faded lace curtain do a lot of emotional heavy lifting; they suggest the passage of time, the way beauty can linger even in decay. It’s a short piece, but it holds a strong emotional center — the kind of stillness that makes the reader stop and look a little closer.

The choice to focus on what the narrator cannot see — the cat’s color, what’s outside the window — is actually quite effective. It keeps the story inward, turning the attention to the narrator’s quiet observation rather than the outside world. That final line, “It is a lonely cat,” lands softly but meaningfully. It isn’t dramatic; it’s just true. And because of that, it feels real.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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2
Review of At the Park  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This short piece, At the Park, has a really fun and lighthearted tone that gives it a nice mix of humor and imagination. It starts out as a believable, everyday conversation between two friends, but quickly tilts into something delightfully absurd — squirrels plotting lunch thefts. That blend of realism and whimsy makes the story charming and memorable.

The dialogue between Jeff and Ted feels natural and flows smoothly. You’ve done a good job of capturing their personalities through their exchanges — Jeff’s skepticism comes across right away, while Ted’s earnestness makes his story oddly convincing. Their banter feels like something overheard at a park bench, which keeps it grounded even as the situation gets sillier.

The shift in perspective at the end, moving from the human characters to the squirrels, is clever and gives the story its best punchline. The names — Chip, Hop, and Ramsey — add to the playfulness. That closing line about “waiting for a nanny with a stroller” is the perfect note to end on, because it suggests that the squirrels actually are running a little operation. It wraps the story with a wink rather than an open end, which works nicely.


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3
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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This story is charming, clever, and full of energy—it really nails a slice-of-life, teen ingenuity vibe. Here’s a detailed review of what’s working well and where it could be strengthened:

Strengths

Strong Character Voice:

Jena’s personality comes through immediately: logical, slightly sardonic, and inventive.

The contrast with Marla—an enthusiastic, socially aware, and traditionally creative sister—creates natural tension and humor.

Minor touches (like Jena sewing her sweater to the tablecloth) are memorable, funny, and reveal personality efficiently.

Humor and Tone:

The story balances frustration, humor, and triumph perfectly.

Lines like “Threads clung to her jeans like static-charged spiderwebs” and “a disco ball on her head” give the narrative vivid, playful imagery.

The subtle sarcasm in Jena’s narration keeps the reader smiling without derailing the story’s tension.

Creative Problem-Solving:

Jena turning a sewing project into a tech experiment is clever, fun, and believable given her established personality.

The story celebrates a different kind of creativity, highlighting STEM skills in a teen social setting.

The LED pulsing to music scene is visually exciting and a clear payoff for the setup.

Pacing and Structure:

The story builds naturally: problem introduction → escalating tension (Jena struggling) → inventive solution → public payoff → personal growth.

The back-and-forth dialogue keeps the pace brisk while showing character dynamics.

Emotional Payoff:

Marla’s gratitude and the peer recognition at the party give satisfying emotional closure.

Jena gains confidence in her own abilities while maintaining her unique perspective, which is a gratifying arc.

Areas to Strengthen

Transitions and Scene Flow:

The shifts from Jena thinking about sewing → planning the engineering solution → rapid montage of construction are effective, but you could smooth a few transitions to avoid feeling like a jump cut. A sentence or two bridging her decision to build the hat and the first few hours of work could make the progression more fluid.

Example: After “What if I… built one?”, a line like “She immediately started sketching diagrams and scavenging supplies, her mind buzzing with calculations” could ease the leap.

Sensory Details During the Party:

You capture visuals well (LEDs, hats, poolside scene), but adding some tactile or auditory notes could make the setting more immersive.

For example, the bass thump of the DJ, the heat of lights overhead, or the stickiness of the poolside humidity could ground the scene further.

Minor Clarity Tweaks:

The repeated ComputerTophatComputer lines are stylistically interesting but might confuse some readers. Consider adding context or formatting to indicate these are montage markers or internal rhythms of her work.

Small Character Beats:

Marla is mostly reactive to Jena, which works for her role, but a tiny scene showing her contribution or initiative during the hat-building (even a small assist or encouragement) would reinforce the “team effort” without overshadowing Jena.

Overall Impression

This is a fun, upbeat story with excellent character work, humor, and a satisfying payoff. It does a wonderful job of blending creativity, problem-solving, and sibling dynamics in a teen setting. The stakes are simple but effective—Jena overcoming her own limitations while helping her sister—and the ending is both emotionally and narratively satisfying.

If polished slightly with smoother transitions, added sensory depth at the party, and a touch more balance for Marla, it could easily shine as a short story that readers would remember and smile about.

Verdict: Engaging, clever, and heartwarming. I’d give it a solid A, with room to make it even more immersive with a few small tweaks.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Intergalactic U.P.F Peacekeepers reads like a militaristic sci-fi epic that’s only just beginning to stretch its wings. The story sets an impressive stage — humanity in 2389, fully united and technologically ascendant, yet still tethered to that timeless struggle for control and discipline. It’s a vision of the future that feels both grand and chilling, filled with order, pride, and unrelenting purpose. What makes this piece stand out isn’t just the worldbuilding, but the tone: it captures the suffocating uniformity of life in a rigid military state while still evoking awe for the scale of human advancement.

From the start, the writer builds an almost propaganda-like rhythm, especially in how the narrator describes unity, empire, and duty. The repetition — of bells, marching, silence — turns routine into ritual. That methodical pace effectively immerses the reader in the protagonist’s reality: one where individuality is systematically erased, replaced by obedience and pride in serving something larger. The piece almost reads like a manual turned to life — mechanical, precise, but purposefully so. You feel the weight of discipline pressing down on the characters.

Lieutenant Admiral Gideon Drox’s speech near the end cements that tone beautifully. It’s bombastic, fervent, and disturbingly inspiring. The way it mirrors real-world totalitarian rhetoric feels intentional — the “brothers, sisters, heroes, champions” line could have easily come from a war-era broadcast. That kind of writing walks a thin line between pride and propaganda, and this story uses that tension well.

If there’s a critique, it’s pacing and emotional connection. The piece leans heavily on procedural detail — which builds immersion but risks dulling the emotional heartbeat of the story. Readers get a clear sense of the environment but not yet of the individual behind the uniform. The cadet’s single moment of humanity — cracking a grin — is the first real spark of personality, and it’s swiftly punished. If future installments expand on that internal conflict (duty versus self), the story could gain real emotional depth.

Stylistically, the prose is consistent and confident. The formal tone fits the setting, and the meticulous structure mirrors the militarized world perfectly. However, breaking that rhythm occasionally — letting the protagonist think, remember, or question — would add a stronger personal layer without sacrificing tone.

Overall, Intergalactic U.P.F Peacekeepers is a compelling start. It’s cinematic, disciplined, and grand in scope, like an introduction to a vast, morally complex universe. The foundation is solid; the world feels believable and lived-in. The next step is to let humanity — the messy, unpredictable kind — slip through those cracks of uniformity. That’s where this story will truly come alive.

Rating: 8.5/10 — stunning worldbuilding and atmosphere, with room to deepen the character’s emotional presence.


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Review of Dark and LIght  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
“Dark and Light” is a beautifully balanced poem that reflects deeply on the relationship between contrast and meaning — both visually and emotionally. The use of Vermeer as a metaphor for how light and shadow coexist gives the poem a timeless and thoughtful anchor. The poet doesn’t just admire Vermeer’s technique but connects it to human experience, suggesting that darkness gives light its value, just as hardship gives beauty to joy.

The imagery is rich yet understated. Lines like “touches a face” and “rebounds off a copper jug” are sensory and elegant, bringing Vermeer’s world to life while keeping the tone calm and reflective. The shift to the modern image of “flicking a switch” feels clever and natural, grounding the poem in contemporary thought. It’s a smooth way to show how too much clarity — or constant “light” — can overwhelm rather than illuminate.

The closing reflection that “without the darkness, light is merely everyday” ties everything together with quiet wisdom. It’s not a pessimistic view, but rather an acceptance that both shadow and light define each other — in art, in emotion, in life itself. The writing feels mature and graceful, carrying the kind of insight that lingers long after reading.

Overall, it’s a poem of restraint, elegance, and understanding — one that turns a simple truth into something genuinely moving.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece, The Abortion Paradox, is weighty, deeply personal, and clearly the product of decades of thought and contemplation. It comes across as both an argument and a confession, laying out not just your position on abortion but also the philosophical journey that shaped it. What works most strongly is the conviction in your voice—you write with passion, with certainty, and with an obvious desire to push readers toward deeper reflection. That intensity will resonate with those who already share your outlook and may challenge those who don’t.

That said, there are a few areas where the essay could benefit from refinement, especially if your goal is not only to state your position but also to open the door to broader dialogue:

1. Tone and Accessibility
The language is often dense and formal, which risks shutting out some readers. Sentences sometimes run long, packed with clauses and philosophical terms, which makes it harder to follow the thread of your argument. If your intent is to reach across divides, you might want to balance the intellectual rigor with moments of plain, direct language. For example, the passages on autonomy and responsibility are powerful but could be more striking if stated simply, without as much philosophical scaffolding.

2. Balance Between Argument and Reflection
The essay spends a lot of time situating your personal history—your Catholic upbringing, your relationship with objectivism, your disappointment with politics and religion. These sections are valuable in showing your credibility and personal evolution, but they sometimes overshadow the central argument about abortion itself. Trimming or tightening those digressions could help sharpen the focus. Readers might be more persuaded if they feel you’re guiding them directly into the paradox, rather than circling it for too long.

3. Invitation to Dialogue
You stress the importance of reasoned, civil conversation, yet the language in parts is more combative—words like “abomination,” “atrocious,” or “genocide” will likely provoke resistance instead of curiosity. This doesn’t weaken your argument outright, but it does risk hardening the positions of those who disagree. If your goal is to challenge without alienating, you might consider reserving those terms for later, once you’ve built more common ground.

4. Strength of the Paradox Theme
You frame abortion as a paradox but don’t always circle back to that framing. The definition from Wikipedia is useful, but what could strengthen the essay is weaving the paradox idea more consistently through your critique. For example: autonomy vs. responsibility, freedom vs. life, objectivism’s individualism vs. its stance on abortion. Tying each contradiction explicitly back to the paradox would give the essay a sharper thematic spine.

5. Structure and Flow
The essay feels like several overlapping essays—part memoir, part philosophical statement, part cultural critique. Each section has merit, but together they sometimes feel disjointed. You might think about whether you want this to function as a manifesto (unapologetic, declarative, meant to take a stand) or as an inquiry (thoughtful, probing, meant to invite discussion). Right now, it straddles both, and that can dilute the impact.

Overall, the piece is bold and uncompromising, and that in itself is a strength. You’re not hedging your words, and you’re not watering down your convictions. If you can streamline your language, clarify the paradox framework, and decide whether you want persuasion or dialogue to take priority, this could become not just a statement of belief but a powerful, thought-provoking work that sparks exactly the conversations you want it to.


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Review of Only You And Me  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice Piece.

What works

The poem’s heart is honest and simple. The speaker’s voice feels devotional and direct, which matches the title and theme: a personal, intimate plea. Lines like “Touch the darkness / Of my impossible heart” have emotional weight; they’re raw and relatable. Repetition of the idea “Only you and I” gives the poem a clear center and keeps the stakes personal. The overall arc — struggle, climb, arrival, acceptance — reads like a full emotional journey even in vignette form.

Where it could be stronger
Right now much of the poem leans on abstract language (God, Free will, mountain, forever’s tomorrow). Swapping a few abstractions for vivid, concrete images would make the emotional climb feel lived-in rather than told. Some lines could use more consistent punctuation and tighter phrasing; a few sentences run long and wander, which weakens momentum.

A few specific suggestions
• Tighten diction. “Master of all people / Christians and heathens alike” could be shortened or made more vivid. The contrast is a little blunt.
• Use punctuation to guide the reader. Add commas and periods where the thought ends so cadence matches the meaning.
• Trim or vary repeated phrases. The refrain “Only you and I, us / Is what I desperately need” is heartfelt but could be shortened to increase impact.
• Show a small scene. A single sensory detail (cold dawn on the mountain, a scar, a key in a palm) will root the spiritual moment and make the ending feel earned.
• Watch grammar: “God I without question understand” reads clearer as “God, I, without question, understand” or “God — I understand without question.”

Tiny revision suggestion (polished stanza)
Touch the darkness of my impossible heart —
lend me your hand, Father. I have climbed,
crossed the hard ridge of free will, and stand
at the small, cold summit where choices thin.
I am not perfect. I am only here, steady,
breathing the thin air of a life remade.
Hold me — not for my triumph, but because
I have come back to you.

Overall impression
This is a sincere, promising vignette with strong emotional honesty. Focus on a couple of concrete images, tidy the punctuation, and tighten some lines and the piece will feel much more immediate and powerful

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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8
8
Review of Only You And Me  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice Piece.

What works

The poem’s heart is honest and simple. The speaker’s voice feels devotional and direct, which matches the title and theme: a personal, intimate plea. Lines like “Touch the darkness / Of my impossible heart” have emotional weight; they’re raw and relatable. Repetition of the idea “Only you and I” gives the poem a clear center and keeps the stakes personal. The overall arc — struggle, climb, arrival, acceptance — reads like a full emotional journey even in vignette form.

Where it could be stronger
Right now much of the poem leans on abstract language (God, Free will, mountain, forever’s tomorrow). Swapping a few abstractions for vivid, concrete images would make the emotional climb feel lived-in rather than told. Some lines could use more consistent punctuation and tighter phrasing; a few sentences run long and wander, which weakens momentum.

A few specific suggestions
• Tighten diction. “Master of all people / Christians and heathens alike” could be shortened or made more vivid. The contrast is a little blunt.
• Use punctuation to guide the reader. Add commas and periods where the thought ends so cadence matches the meaning.
• Trim or vary repeated phrases. The refrain “Only you and I, us / Is what I desperately need” is heartfelt but could be shortened to increase impact.
• Show a small scene. A single sensory detail (cold dawn on the mountain, a scar, a key in a palm) will root the spiritual moment and make the ending feel earned.
• Watch grammar: “God I without question understand” reads clearer as “God, I, without question, understand” or “God — I understand without question.”

Tiny revision suggestion (polished stanza)
Touch the darkness of my impossible heart —
lend me your hand, Father. I have climbed,
crossed the hard ridge of free will, and stand
at the small, cold summit where choices thin.
I am not perfect. I am only here, steady,
breathing the thin air of a life remade.
Hold me — not for my triumph, but because
I have come back to you.

Overall impression
This is a sincere, promising vignette with strong emotional honesty. Focus on a couple of concrete images, tidy the punctuation, and tighten some lines and the piece will feel much more immediate and powerful

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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9
9
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nice piece — I enjoyed the voice and Bella’s stubborn, comic sense of entitlement. Here’s a short, honest review with concrete suggestions you can use immediately.

What works

Bella’s personality is vivid and consistent. The reader quickly understands her worldview: she’s territorial, clever, petty, and convincing as a narrator (even when she’s not literally the narrator, the focus stays tight on her).

The small, domestic details (parquet foyer, sugar bowl, pearl spill, catnip binge) create a believable household world and supply good physical comedy.

The emotional through-line — Bella’s fear of being replaced and her survival instincts — is clear and relatable. That keeps the reader invested.

What could be stronger

Show don’t tell: The story sometimes tells us Bella’s feelings instead of dramatizing them. For example, rather than “Bella’s survival instincts told her Donna was the enemy,” let Bella act in a way that proves the line (a micro-scene of planning, a furtive reconnaissance, a failed ambush with sensory detail).

Point of view clarity: The piece slips between close interior access to Bella and more neutral narration. Decide: is this third-person limited with Bella’s thoughts, or an omniscient narrator? Consistent POV will sharpen voice.

Sympathetic balance: Donna is painted almost entirely as “the heathen.” Consider adding a line or two showing Donna’s vulnerability (e.g., momentary confusion, trembling), which would deepen the conflict and raise stakes.

Pacing and repetition: A few ideas repeat (mistress rescues Bella, Bella tries sabotage). Tighten by removing one or two similar incidents and replacing them with a single, stronger plot beat.

Ending: The ending currently feels open — Bella will keep scheming. If you want closure, pick a direction: come-to-terms truce, Donna’s clever counter, or a catalytic event that forces the owner to choose. Each gives a satisfying resolution.

Line-level suggestions (quick rewrites you can copy)
Original: “Bella opened one eye, training it on the clicking high heels as they tapped across the parquet foyer.”
Rewrite: “Bella cracked one eye and watched the high heels clip across the parquet foyer.”

Original: “Flabbergasted and frustrated at her owner's responses, Bella held fast and continued to plan how to oust Donna from the household.”
Rewrite: “Stunned that her human forgave every crime, Bella doubled down — scheming new ways to make Donna unforgivable.”

Original: “This must be the mother lode.”
Rewrite: “Jackpot.”

Final thoughts
You’ve got a fun, readable story with strong characterization and great comic beats. Tighten the POV, trim repeated incidents, and decide how you want the conflict to resolve.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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10
10
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
The Moment That Stays

This is a powerful, quiet piece — it grabs the chest and holds it. The poem does what good grief writing should: it makes the reader feel the weight, the suddenness, and the slow aftershock. Your imagery is direct and spare (silence that weighs, a hollow that echoes), which suits the subject. The repeated idea that the moment becomes you is wrenching and earned; the ending line — “people can disappear without ever leaving” — is a clean, devastating close.

What’s working especially well
• The tone: calm, intimate, never melodramatic. That restraint lets the emotion land harder.
• Concrete sensory details: gasping for air, chest tightening, the echo in the hollow — these ground abstract grief in the body.
• The structure: short lines and breaks mirror the halting, stunned feeling of the speaker. The repetition of “you” pulls the reader into the experience.

Suggestions to sharpen it
• Trim a couple of slightly abstract lines to keep the poem lean. For example, “Pain blooms inward. / Sharp. / Crushing. / Unrelenting.” is effective, but you might reduce one adjective to keep the rhythm taut.
• Watch small clichés — “the world keeps going” is honest, but consider reframing to a more specific image (a commuter train passing, an office light turning on) to heighten contrast.
• A few places could use tighter verbs. Instead of “you are somewhere else entirely,” try “you are elsewhere” or “you drift elsewhere” to keep the language economical.
• The line “your heart doesn’t just ache, it breaks. / Loudly, / quietly, / all at once.” is strong because of its paradox, but you could experiment with line break emphasis (put “loudly” alone on a line) to increase impact.

Small optional edits
• Consider a brief concrete scene near the middle — a specific object or moment that was happening when the moment hit. That can anchor the universality in a single, memorable detail.

Overall: this is honest and moving. With a couple of strategic trims and one small concrete detail, it will feel even more immediate. Keep writing like this — the restraint makes the heartbreak real.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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11
Review of eeee  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
At first glance, your work appears playful, repetitive, and minimalistic. By choosing only a single character—the letter e—and stretching it across such an extended length, you’ve created something that reads less like traditional writing and more like experimental art. It strips away meaning in the conventional sense and instead forces the reader to focus on form, rhythm, and visual impact.

There’s actually an underlying humor in it too. The absurd length of the repeated e could be read as exaggeration, almost like a scream drawn out until it becomes comical. It also echoes a sense of persistence, testing how long an idea can be carried before it collapses into nonsense—or perhaps, before nonsense itself becomes the point.

From another angle, it could be interpreted as commentary on noise in modern communication. In a world full of messages, texts, and online chatter, sometimes everything collapses into a long, meaningless string of repetition. In that way, your piece captures both frustration and absurdity.

Of course, one limitation is that without variation or intentional breaks, the piece risks being skimmed past instead of engaged with. If the goal was to challenge attention spans, then it succeeds. But if the goal was to create emotional impact, adding subtle changes—like spacing, capitalization, or inserting one different letter in the sea of e’s—could turn it into a stronger artistic statement.

In short: your piece is bold in its simplicity, teetering between joke and experiment. It’s not traditional writing, but it does highlight how even nonsense can provoke thought when presented in excess.

WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review of Equine Arrival  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem, though brief, immediately grabs attention with its energetic soundscape. The opening line, “Spurring on a rhythmic murmur,” effectively sets the tone, evoking both movement and anticipation. The choice of “murmur” paired with “spurring” creates a tension between quiet and action, which is intriguing.

The second line, “Rumbling, tumbling over the earth,” builds on that energy, using strong, physical verbs that ground the imagery. The alliteration in “rumbling” and “tumbling” works well to carry the reader along with the motion of the scene. The verbs themselves conjure an almost primal sense of movement, hinting at the power of the equine presence without explicitly naming it yet.

By the third line, “Shimmering thunder tremors the air,” the poem introduces a visual layer. “Shimmering thunder” is an interesting oxymoron—thunder is usually raw and heavy, while “shimmering” suggests lightness or beauty. This contrast is striking and gives the piece a sense of grandeur, as if the arrival is both beautiful and fearsome. The phrase “tremors the air” reinforces the kinetic energy of the poem, making the reader almost feel the vibrations.

Finally, “With hammering, clamoring crescendo” leaves the poem on a powerful auditory note. The choice of “crescendo” is particularly effective, as it implies a build-up, movement, and climax. The alliteration of “hammering” and “clamoring” mirrors the earlier rhythmic patterns, giving the poem cohesion.

Overall, the poem succeeds in using sound, movement, and tension to evoke the presence of horses—or at least something wild and forceful—without directly stating it. It’s visceral and energetic, though one could experiment with slightly more concrete imagery to anchor the reader’s imagination. For a short, impressionistic piece, it’s compelling and immersive.


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13
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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem has a sweeping, meditative quality that really draws the reader in. The imagery is vivid and often delicate, giving love a physical presence in the natural world—from the “blush of dawn” to “the wind’s soft hymn in the cathedral of trees.” There’s a clear rhythm in the way the poem moves from one image to another, almost like wandering through a gallery of fleeting, luminous moments. I liked how the poet balances the tender with the overwhelming: love is both “the heart splintered in grief” and “the heart ablaze with fire,” which captures the complexity of human emotion without ever feeling forced.

The poem’s structure, with its frequent short lines and stanzas, encourages a slow, reflective reading, letting each image land before moving on to the next. It leans heavily on metaphor, which gives it an ethereal, almost spiritual tone. Lines like “the golden chain of longing, the freedom of wings in flight” and “letting go like a river into the sea, and holding on like roots to the earth” are particularly effective—they’re grounded in sensory experience but carry a universal weight.

One thing to consider: because the poem is so expansive and image-heavy, some readers might feel a little overwhelmed by the sheer number of metaphors and descriptions. Trimming or combining a few could give the strongest images even more impact, allowing the poem to breathe in places.

Overall, it’s a beautiful, immersive meditation on love that moves fluidly between its gentleness, its longing, and its intensity. The ending is particularly satisfying—tying together the cosmic and the personal with the simple, declarative “We are all Love.” It leaves the reader with a sense of completeness and universality.


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14
14
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
The Redemption of a Fool is a poetic and quietly powerful parable that blends the stillness of a fable with the depth of philosophical reflection. There’s no loud action or high drama here—just a hill, a fool, a poet, and a conversation that changes everything. But somehow, that’s enough. This story works because it slows you down and invites you to breathe, think, and feel.

What stands out most is how the narrative doesn't force an answer. The writing floats between thought and emotion, never rushing to explain what it means. Instead, it lets the reader arrive there on their own. That’s rare. The fool isn’t mocked or dismissed, nor is the poet treated like a prophet. They meet, speak, and share a moment that shifts something inside the fool—but not in a loud or flashy way. The change happens like dusk turning into night: quietly, inevitably.

The language itself is beautiful—lush without being overwhelming. Lines like "the sun bled gold upon the grass" or "truth wears a thousand masks" carry a rhythm that feels timeless. It almost reads like a story written in another age, where people still believed wisdom could be found in silence and stories. It hits a tone somewhere between Eastern philosophy and old European folktales, with just a touch of the spiritual.

The story’s heart is simple: transformation doesn’t come from escaping who you are. It comes from listening—to nature, to others, and to the voice inside you that often gets drowned out. Redemption here isn’t about righting past wrongs or becoming someone new. It’s about realizing who you already are, once the noise falls away.

This story won’t be for everyone. If you’re looking for plot twists or action, you’ll be disappointed. But if you want something that makes you sit with your thoughts, this is a gem. It's the kind of piece that stays with you—not because it shocks or amazes, but because it reminds you, gently, to pay attention. And maybe that’s the truest kind of redemption there is.


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15
15
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review of “Flight of the Hawk” by Jeannie Morgan

Jeannie Morgan’s “Flight of the Hawk” is a heartfelt and spiritual poem that reads like a prayer, a journey, and a calling all in one. In just thirteen lines, she manages to blend emotion, ancestry, and a deep reverence for nature and spirit. The title sets the tone right away—hawks are often symbols of vision, freedom, and guidance, and those themes carry through the poem with quiet strength.

From the very first line, “My soul whirls on the wind that glides,” there’s a strong sense of motion, of searching, and of being part of something greater than oneself. Morgan’s speaker is not passive—they’re traveling through realms, chasing connection, wisdom, and ultimately, grounding. There’s an interesting contrast between the soul’s flight and the “earthly shell”—as if the spirit must reunite with the body, having learned something vital while aloft.

The line “Spirit guides you've instructed me well” marks a shift from searching to reflection, showing that the speaker has learned lessons from beyond. This spiritual guidance isn’t vague—it ties directly to storytelling, memory, and the passing down of wisdom, something many indigenous and ancestral cultures hold dear.

Lines like “Visions of truth have been revealed to me / From eternal flame that burns in thee” give the poem an almost prophetic weight. There’s no doubt this is a speaker who has seen something sacred and wishes to share it.

The closing stanza feels like both a plea and a promise. “Spirit of the Earth / Grant me rebirth / And forever walk by my side” is deeply intimate. It speaks to a desire not just for personal renewal but for an ongoing relationship with the divine or natural world. That kind of connection is both healing and humbling.

Overall, this poem is gentle but powerful. You use simple, direct language to tackle big spiritual themes without ever sounding preachy. The tone is sincere and personal, as if the reader has stepped into a private moment of prayer or reflection. It’s a poem that invites rereading—not to decipher, but to sit with. To breathe in. And maybe even to feel a little closer to the earth and whatever it is that guides us.

A beautiful piece of spiritual writing.


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Review of Craving KitKat  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This piece reads like an emotional fever dream wrapped in old wounds, chemistry, and memory. It’s both sharp-edged and soft at the same time — full of longing, history, hurt, and that slippery kind of love that doesn’t fit in any traditional box. And you’ve written it with a strong, lived-in voice that makes Henry and Kit’s story feel real and heartbreaking in all the best ways.

First off, the pacing here is spot-on for what you’re trying to do. You don’t rush anything, which allows the tension and old feelings to simmer right beneath the surface. We’re dropped right into Henry’s world without much setup, but it works — that late-night knock from Kit has the weight of a thousand late-night regrets and buried desires. There's a worn familiarity between them that’s never spelled out too directly, but shown through every side glance, every pause, every loaded line.

Kit herself is electric. She’s the kind of woman who storms into a man’s life like a thunderclap and leaves just as fast — except this time, she doesn’t leave. That duality in her — the wildness and the woundedness, the strength and the fragility — is portrayed with a deep understanding. You don’t sugarcoat her trauma or pretend like love can magically fix her. Instead, you show how her damage has shaped her, and how Henry’s love, while deep, has limits because of it.

And Henry? He’s so tired, but still all in. His inner dialogue is a mix of raw need, old pain, and that stupid hope that just won’t die, even though he knows better. You get the sense he’s aged a thousand years in the years without her, but with her back, every scar he earned feels fresh again. That final understanding he comes to — that loving her may mean letting her go, or letting her stay without owning her — that’s maturity. That’s heartbreak. That’s what makes this story linger long after it ends.

There are some incredibly strong lines that just hit:

“Her turbulent sea-storm eyes... his greatest joy or his worst fear realized.”

“She comes from her own little war zone; her own personal hell…”

“He wanted to give her his world, on the condition that she share it as he defined.”

That’s real stuff. Honest and painful. You manage to show that no matter how much someone loves you, they can't undo what life has done to you — and trying to mold love into something it isn’t for the other person can become its own kind of damage.

Now, for suggestions: a few moments get a bit heavy on the introspection. Some of Henry’s thoughts could be pared down or spaced with a bit more action or dialogue. That way, we don’t get too far inside his head without coming up for air. A few more quiet, physical beats (like him watching her pour that drink, or her brushing hair out of her face while lost in thought) could ground those long stretches of emotional unpacking.

Also, you might want to watch out for repetition. The theme of “she was wild but beautiful,” “he couldn’t resist but couldn’t trust her,” “she was safety and danger” — those ideas are gold, but they’re hit more than once in slightly different ways. Tightening those moments might give them even more power.

But overall, this is emotionally rich storytelling. It’s a story about old love, not perfect love. And that’s what makes it hit so hard. It’s beautifully written, raw, real, and unforgettable. Honestly, it could live inside a short story collection, or as a pivotal scene in a longer novel.

This one sticks.


WriterRick (WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group)


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is such a beautifully imagined piece, and easily one of the most original tributes to the Beatles I’ve read in a long time. It’s not just a tribute—it’s a full-hearted love letter to their music, their personal journeys, and how their art continues to spark creativity long after the band stopped playing together. What makes it work isn’t just the concept of the songs coming to life, but how you’ve made each one a living, breathing character with their own personality, history, and emotional weight.

You managed to do something really special here—transform songs into souls. From In My Life’s tender nostalgia to Come Together’s swagger, to I Me Mine’s buried hurt, each song enters with its own emotional temperature and sets off sparks not just among the crowd, but among the other songs too. That layer of backstage tension among the characters—like Taxman’s simmering resentment or Act Naturally’s gentle peacemaking—adds unexpected depth and humanizes the music in a way that feels fresh.

The way you tie the Beatles’ timeline to the physical setting—the Caddo River, the fireflies, the amphitheater, the pines—is poetic without being overly sentimental. The atmosphere is tangible, yet dreamlike. That mix of grounded and magical is tough to pull off, but you nailed it. Writers taking inspiration from each song's appearance is another standout element. It makes the story not just a concert, but a living workshop of creativity.

The sisters Clara and Dana, plus the addition of Lunara as their mother’s spirit watching over them, adds another subtle emotional layer. Her presence is ethereal and mysterious, and it complements the legend-like tone of the whole story. I love that this wasn’t just about the Beatles—it was about writing, memory, healing, and the creative spark music leaves behind.

If I had one tiny suggestion, it’s that a few sections get a little wordy or start repeating emotional beats, especially with the writers reacting to each song. Trimming just a few of those moments could keep the pacing crisp and make the story even tighter. But honestly, that’s a small note for something this rich.

This story isn’t just fan fiction. It’s something bigger. It captures what great art does: it lingers, it transforms, it unites, and it inspires others to create. You clearly put a lot of time into researching not just the facts behind each song, but the emotional DNA behind them, and it shows.

This piece deserves a wide audience. It’s soulful, imaginative, and deeply respectful of both the Beatles' music and the magic of storytelling. Bravo, Noisy Wren. This one sings.

WriterRick


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Review of Fantastic Five  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This short scene drops us right into a cramped and stressful situation with five people stuck in a cell — four men and one woman — and it hints at tension, frustration, and maybe even a deeper meaning beneath the surface. There’s something interesting about the mix of serious emotion and casual dialogue. You can tell that Tom and Sally have been in this space too long. The way they talk, tired and almost resigned, makes that clear.

What’s working here is the simplicity of the setup. We don't need a big backstory right away. The reader can feel the frustration and uncertainty in just a few lines. The line where the officer refuses to let them out — not because of a legal reason but because they're “not ready to listen” — adds a nice layer of mystery. What does he mean? Is this jail more than it seems? That makes me want to know more.

That said, the dialogue could use a little tightening. Right now, everyone sounds a bit too similar. If the three men behind Tom and Sally are meant to have different personalities, give each of them a more distinct voice or way of speaking. For example, the last line, “yeet, aigh’t…” is really modern slang, but it shows up kind of randomly and feels disconnected from the tone of the rest. Does it fit that character, or is it just tossed in?

Another suggestion: give us just a bit more detail about the setting. Is it a normal jail cell? Something underground? Are the bars rusty, the walls cold, or is there something strange or symbolic about this place? A few sensory details would make it easier to picture and would raise the stakes.

And finally, the emotional connection between Tom and Sally is hinted at, but not fully explored. Are they just friends? Something more? Why does Tom seem to care more about her than the other three? If this story goes forward, exploring that bond could give it more heart.

Overall, it’s a short but layered scene with potential. You’ve got mystery, character tension, and a strange dynamic with authority. With clearer dialogue and a stronger sense of who each person is, this piece could grow into something really engaging — whether it’s a symbolic piece, a psychological thriller, or even a short drama about confinement and change. Keep going.

WriterRick


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Review of Love Bubble  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This short piece has a clear and heartfelt message, blending spiritual wisdom with a poetic rhythm that gives it strength. At its core, the idea of “without vision, the people perish” sets the tone. not just as a biblical quote, but as a call to inner focus. The idea that if you can close your eyes and “see it,” then it’s not just a dream, it’s something real and attainable, feels both inspiring and grounded in a kind of quiet confidence. That line works especially well.

The next few lines drive home a personal responsibility in what we envision. The reminder that “everyone you picture is you” is powerful. It suggests a deep connection between the self and others, and the idea that we can't control other people's paths through manifestation is a good boundary to set, spiritually and ethically.

The rhythm starts strong but could use a little more polish in places. Some lines, like “You're wishing for that bad thing in your life to be injected,” feel slightly clunky — “injected” is a sharp word, and while it gets the point across, a softer or more poetic substitute could flow better with the overall tone.

Still, the message in the final lines stands out. The “love bubble” imagery might seem whimsical at first, but the idea behind it — that putting out good energy shields you and bounces back negative intent — is meaningful. It wraps the message in something visual and memorable. The closing couplet about arrows bouncing off that bubble is a nice finish, like a protective spell spoken out loud.

Overall, the poem gives off a calm, grounded spiritual message: keep your vision pure, stay focused on your own path, don’t wish harm, and meet judgment with kindness. It’s simple but sincere. With a few tweaks to smooth the flow, it could be even stronger — but the heart of it? That’s already in the right place.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem is a playful and clever tribute to Robert Burns’ famous line about wishing for the ability to see ourselves as others see us. The writer engages deeply with Burns’ style, even adopting a sort of old Scots-English tone that adds a fun, authentic flavor. It feels like a mix of admiration and gentle teasing, exploring the quirks of Burns’ meter and syllable count with a lighthearted spirit.

What I like most is how the poem balances respect for Burns with humor and curiosity. The poet isn’t just praising blindly; they’re poking around the rhythm and structure, wondering why some lines seem to have extra syllables and how that fits the traditional flow. It’s like a writer’s inside joke about poetic form, which makes it engaging and original.

The language is rich and somewhat archaic, which fits the theme but can be a little challenging to follow if you’re not used to that style. Still, it doesn’t feel forced — it seems intentionally crafted to echo Burns, which shows thoughtfulness. Some phrases, like “how self-absorbed and troubled be us,” carry a punchy honesty that adds to the poem’s charm.

One suggestion might be to smooth out a couple of spots where the rhythm feels a little uneven or where the archaic style slows the reader too much. Making sure the poem flows naturally while keeping that old-timey feel will help it connect even better.

Overall, it’s a well-done, witty homage that shows real appreciation and curiosity about poetry’s craft. The poet’s voice shines through clearly, and the mix of respect and playful critique makes it enjoyable to read. It’s a good example of how you can honor a classic while still bringing your own personality and questions into the mix.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thank you for sharing something so personal and heartfelt. This song clearly means a lot to you—not just for its beautiful melody and lyrics, but because it’s tied to your memories of your Papa Mauro. You can feel the love, the longing, and the quiet strength in your words, and in the song itself.

“Matam-is Kanunay Ang Magpaubos” – “It Is Always Sweet To Be Humble” – is a powerful line to center a song around. It’s not just a reminder of humility, but also of grace in pain. The lyrics speak of silent suffering, love that endures even when it hurts, and choosing to be patient in the face of heartbreak or rejection. That’s not weakness—it’s a different kind of strength. A gentle, steady kind.

The song paints a picture of someone who loves deeply and keeps that love quiet, even when wounded. There’s something so Filipino about that kind of emotion—subtle but full, sorrowful but hopeful. It’s easy to see why this song stayed with you. That line, “Anaa sa kamot mo ang akong pagmahal” (“My love is in your hands”) is especially tender and vulnerable. It's the kind of line that stays with you long after the music fades.

Knowing that your Papa used to sing this, strumming the guitar while you listened or maybe sang with him, adds a deeper meaning. That connection—the music, the message, and the memory—is something precious. It’s amazing how a song can carry someone’s voice long after they’re gone. You don’t just remember the tune—you remember how it felt being in that moment with him.

You honoring him this way—remembering him through a song that mattered to both of you—is one of the most loving tributes anyone can give. And that line “I miss our singing time together…”? That hit deep. Those memories of simple moments—just voices and strings—are the kind that stay gold forever.

Thank you for opening up this part of your heart. Your Papa Mauro sounds like a beautiful soul, and the music you shared together still lives on.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem captures the heart of the Pentecost story with warmth, excitement, and devotion. It reads like a hymn, full of praise and awe for what happened when the Holy Spirit came down upon the disciples. The poet does a great job of echoing the wonder and movement found in Acts 2—especially that opening line: “Oh, to hear the sound from heaven!” It instantly pulls the reader into a moment of holy power, setting the tone for what follows.

Each stanza reflects a core part of the event, moving us through the wind, the fire, the miraculous speaking in tongues, and the amazement that spread through the crowd. There's a nice rhythm to the piece, and the rhyming couplets keep it flowing smoothly. It's simple, but not shallow. The message comes across clearly: God moved, and lives were changed.

One of the strengths here is how the poem bridges scripture with personal encouragement. It shifts from a historical moment to an invitation: “Open up your heart and let Jesus show you the way!” That transition gives the piece not just a narrative but a purpose—it’s not just about what was, but about what is and what can be.

There are a few areas where tightening could help. For example, “poor out his Spirit” should be “pour out his Spirit.” And some lines are a little crowded with syllables, making the rhythm feel uneven when read aloud. But those are minor bumps in a poem that is otherwise strong in its passion and clarity.

Overall, this is a heartfelt, joyful celebration of one of Christianity’s most powerful events. It invites the reader to not only remember but to participate. That’s what makes it more than a summary—it’s a call to worship. With a few small edits, this could easily be used in church services, devotionals, or personal reflection. It's uplifting, accessible, and genuine.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review of Toasted Gnocchi Bites by MaryAnn Dwyer – The Beach House Kitchen

This recipe for Toasted Gnocchi Bites is one of those rare kitchen wins that feels fancy enough for guests but easy enough to whip up on a lazy weekend. It’s the kind of appetizer that makes you wonder why you haven’t been breading and frying gnocchi your whole life. Seriously, this is a comfort food dream—crispy on the outside, soft and pillowy in the middle, with just enough seasoning to make each bite satisfying without being too heavy.

The instructions are clear, and nothing feels overly complicated. Even if you’re not an experienced home cook, the steps are broken down in a way that makes everything approachable. Cook the gnocchi, set up a quick breading station, fry, and done. The total time is under 30 minutes, and that includes prep, which makes this a great option if you're trying to get food on the table fast without sacrificing flavor.

MaryAnn’s decision to use Italian-style bread crumbs instead of panko was a smart one. It gives these bites a more savory, herbed flavor that pairs perfectly with the marinara. That said, she also leaves the door open for trying other dips, which is great if you want to play with flavor—honey mustard, Dijon, cheesy sauce, even salsa. That kind of flexibility makes the recipe feel more creative and personal.

The tips included are thoughtful, too. Like the note about not overheating the oil—that’s a simple thing that can make or break the batch, especially if you’re frying in a pan instead of using a deep fryer. The air fryer option is another plus for folks trying to lighten things up or skip the mess of oil splatter.

One little detail I loved was the gentle nod to the classic Italian-American “sauce vs. gravy” debate—MaryAnn keeps it friendly and informative by clarifying what she means by marinara. It shows that she understands her audience and wants to be helpful, not preachy.

Overall, this recipe nails it in terms of flavor, simplicity, and versatility. It’s ideal for game days, casual get-togethers, or just a treat-yourself kind of night. Whether you stick to the marinara or switch up the dip, these gnocchi bites are going to impress. Definitely a keeper.

Final verdict: 5 out of 5. Comfort food with a crispy twist—quick, easy, and totally addictive.


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Review of Cocoa Chapter 2  Open in new Window.
Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Short Fiction Authors  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This piece reads like a chapter lifted from a heartfelt middle-grade novel with a twist of mystery and tension tucked in at the edges. Overall, it's charming, cozy, and deeply relatable while gently building into something much more ominous. Here’s my take, section by section:

Opening Scene – The Rescue:
The story begins with high emotion, throwing us straight into the action as Cocoa fights for her life in the pool. The pacing is sharp, and Maggie’s hero moment feels earned and believable. You can almost feel the water splashing and the tension tightening. That line — “She was going to drown!” — is just the right amount of fear for the reader to feel urgency without going overboard. Maggie’s dive into the pool is painted simply but powerfully, showing her bravery. There's something beautifully innocent and noble about an 8-year-old charging to save a dog. This is the kind of scene that hooks you and immediately makes you care about both girl and pup.

The Time Skip – Domestic Warmth:
A year and a half later, the tone shifts to something warmer, gentler. The way Cocoa's present day is written—with beef and gravy, firelight, and family walks—wraps the reader in a sense of safety. You can feel the passage of time in Cocoa’s comfort, and her connection with the family is strong without needing a long explanation. The description of John’s upcoming seminar is also handled with an eye for real-life detail: sticky notes, early flights, busy calendars. It grounds the story and subtly builds contrast with the tension to come later.

The Poodle Conflict – Lighthearted but Insightful:
Pinky-Dink is a perfect little villain. You’ve written her with just the right amount of sass and nastiness. The way she needles Cocoa about her weight isn’t just catty—it hits something deeper. The dialogue here is quick and believable, and the emotional fallout Cocoa feels afterward is very real. Kids (and adults, honestly) will connect with the sadness Cocoa feels, and her decision to eat anyway — followed by Barbara’s comforting talk about food and body — is a lovely, affirming moment. It shows how even unspoken comfort from someone who loves us can reshape our outlook.

The Shift – Suspense Creeps In:
The shadow scene is where everything changes. The way the tone turns — almost without warning — is expertly done. Cocoa’s stiffening, Barbara’s gut feeling, the eerie line of twigs... it all hints at something unknown and maybe even supernatural without over-explaining. That’s key. You leave enough mystery to pull readers forward, but it doesn’t feel out of place because of the calm buildup leading to it.

What Works Really Well:

The emotional range: You go from panic, to peace, to insecurity, to eerie tension—all without it feeling like tonal whiplash.

Cocoa’s point of view: It gives the story its unique warmth and humor but never loses sight of the stakes or real emotion.

The human characters: They feel fully developed even with relatively little dialogue or exposition. You understand their routines, their love, and their quirks in just a few sentences.

A Few Notes for Improvement:

Pinky-Dink’s dialogue might benefit from one more line that hints at why she’s so mean. A quick memory or offhanded remark could give her cruelty some context.

The line about Oregon’s time zone is a bit on-the-nose. It’s cute, but maybe have Barbara explain it more like a mom would to a groggy kid — with less directness and more sleepy sarcasm.

The shadow’s entrance is great, but the “line of twigs” is the first clear sign of a real mystery. Consider adding just a touch more detail: does it form a shape? Point to something? Is it common in that neighborhood? A little more and it’ll really hook the reader.

Final Thoughts:
This review reads somewhere between a slice-of-life family story and a gentle mystery with hints of magical realism or suspense. That blend works so well here because the heart of the story is grounded in everyday love and emotion. You care about the characters, which makes the final note of dread feel personal. I’d absolutely want to read the next chapter just to find out what’s going on with that line of twigs—and how Cocoa fits into the bigger picture.

Rating (if I had to give one): 9/10 — warm, smart, emotionally rich, and sneakily suspenseful. A few tiny tweaks and this could easily be the first chapter of a fantastic book.


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Review by WriterRick Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Short Fiction Authors  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This poem is a heartfelt and playful tribute to Writing.com’s 18th anniversary, and it’s clear the writer poured genuine affection into it. The tone is light, cheerful, and warmly nostalgic, which suits the occasion perfectly. There's a nice mix of appreciation, personal reflection, and humor, giving the piece a strong sense of personality. You can tell the writer feels like a real part of the Writing.com community—and wants to thank the people who made that possible.

The structure follows a loose, conversational rhyme scheme that works well for this kind of celebratory writing. It doesn't take itself too seriously, which is part of its charm. Lines like “Yes, let’s do it, get er’ done today!” and “They’re good, but bad, the emotions they evoke.” bring a friendly, almost folksy energy to the piece. That down-to-earth feel helps the reader connect easily.

The reference to being on the site for 8 years is a nice personal touch—it makes the poem feel anchored in experience. It reminds us that platforms like Writing.com aren’t just websites; they’re places where people grow, connect, and find their voice. The shoutout to the site's age, turning 18, adds just the right celebratory note at the end.

If there's anything to tweak, it might be the rhythm in a few lines, which feels just a little uneven. For example, “Beginning to wonder about this crowd” and “Don’t want to be one who causes a scene” might benefit from a slight adjustment for smoother flow. But honestly, those are minor things, and they don’t take away from the fun and love behind the words.

Overall, this is a warm, spirited, and joyful piece. It's a great example of how a short poem can say a lot—and bring a smile while doing it.


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