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Retired. Never an obligation 3,777 times…minus two or three thousand more (when a zealous-whatever programming made me) before MY lobby saved the rest, thanks to response with consideration and generous reply to put up with me.
 
I get a hang up on stats and what’s right. Blame baseball historians. Apparently, I can’t hear the societal norm above the NOISE IN MY HEAD! WHAT? Oh…you were saying?
 
Nope. Still just me. *Cat2*
 
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Public Reviews
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1
1
Review of A Whistle  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
I liked this for a crafty, quick language that matches the symbol in your story. I did not know it was the wind. Does wind make sound or is it heard from its persistence around the landscape. I didn’t catch invisible either. But it made for good suspense. I’ve perused many of your poems, but this grabs me best.

Brian


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2
Review of My class…  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like the title line as the writer’s own prompt to produce a poem about being idled and doodling words into poem. It even counts the ways it fills the page, it’s whimsical and gives us a feel for narrator and what challenges.

Good job


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3
3
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
As a reviewer, I can be compulsive. The act of writing a helpful review is my aim. Clouds might get pushed away in the effort of sharing these thoughts…typos likely, alerts ahead!

Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* A BELATED HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!!


Hope you had a Happy Account Anniversary, Kåre เลียม Enga Author Icon ~

I tried, but wheels keep coming off, and 18 hours a day in a recliner. Any cake left?

You might know this poem would be my wheel-house. Something I can witness for a cold life is having math as a warm friend. Numbers I understand, people not so much. In fact, I’ve done a lot of unauthorized measuring around here to get a better grip on this virtual reality. Still clueless…mostly. Not much math works out, and blind faith doesn’t come naturally. If guarded I be, so be it.

What a journey this poem is to consider all it packs. I like its brevity, feel it computes math through science to nature — as math explains all that is knowable — and arrives at what should be easy with a sort of romanticism for friendship and simple sentimentality. I feel the emphasis, ultimately, as conclusion, resides in here. So, a measured poem be math for life. Solve for this?

Breaking apart “[to mathematics] E2” (great, eye-catching title) to examine three components being witnessed here — title, lineal, and an escalation — each played a role in shaping the final revelation for me.

Title: That bracketed invocation of sorts “[to mathematics]” primes a reader for a kind of devotional or letter — as if we witness your private correspondence, or open letter to the world. “E2” could suggest an equation, an exponential form, a codename, or even just the poet’s own numeric filing (I’ve noted with others) — as it’s open to me in interpretation, but left wondering about physics, where my heads been at in all things relative. Its framing might invite a mathematical lens: expecting formulas, or deviations from them.

Linear: The poem tightly moves in clean, unrhymed, minimalistic lines — and not just brevity but deliberate pacing. The early lines, kind of rigidity: “straight lines / and straight perceptions.” They set the expectation of logic and order. But that expectation is quick disrupted — “yield / to fractals” — and a shift into witnessed imagery no longer geometric, but environmental. So much happening in small spaces, likened to my themes of atom building and spaces I roam between (invisibly as ghost/captor of life). That enjambment echoes your poem content: the structure itself speaks to something softer, more irregular, but more alive.

Escalation: The poem moves from abstract (math, perception) to natural imagery (shores, islands, icebergs) to the human equation: “you and I / and us.” I’m feeling this shift so well. This progression is beautiful. It begins- with a concept, walking through the world, and arriving in relationship. The science for friendship or love? The shift is not even sentimental just for sentiment’s sake — it has logic, emotion, and is universal to me. The self…not a number alone. Yet, I’m at the deli counter of life where all things impersonal arrive while I wait, as time and other noted numbers count, sort, rank, as aims and goals bleaker. Interconnected in many ways, your poem boils down in simple science here. I play with too many unfinished thoughts from complicated, bad, unruly math for life. (Prosciutto, three pounds, and a pound of your sliced provolone?) Big sandwich day.

For a poem so brief, it is remarkably expansive. In its three acts — idea, image, intimacy — charted how even a cold logic bends to the warmth of connection. Dichotomous? Yin Yang? And, that the poem ends in “us” feels not just poetic but vital, especially in times when the only constants in life seem to be isolation and confusion. In this way, the poem does what good math — and good poetry — strives for: to make sense of chaos, even when only approximate.

A thoughtfully distilled poem. One that adds up for me. Viva le poetry! Le or La? French/Spanish?? Lost in idle thought, again. A would-be anniversary reviewer, disabled well enough to silent hang with…these guys…disAbility Writer’s Group (but not a poster senior, yet)



There comes
a softening
to mathematics
when straight lines
and straight perceptions yield (slope?)
to fractals
of rocky shores
of sandy islands
and melting icebergs
to equations
of you and I
and us.

————————————
Any shape intention? I can sense land masses to water where bergs melt ~


Brian
disAbility Writer’s Group

I’m blind, not disabled.



A pay it forward review, thanks to Jeff Author Icon or Heffe, as he’s known around the complex. I’m just leaving bold on. Me and Writing ML…


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Review of The curse  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear No Sox with Sandals Author Icon ~

I like the story concept and happily ever after, feeling some writer self-indulgence which was good. I think we all want to close our eyes and imagine.

For a short story, i found I could adapt to the premise through this first parrot narrative, recanting a story. Where I found it turn sideways was the instant fame, and further, being pursued by men who wanted to take her wing and walk the wedding aisle? Wasn’t sure about that. If it’s a 24-hour prompt, I get it. Story still functions.

I like the remaining suitor and what was essentially true about falling for someone, knowing they care. Then, his mother’s death, a fortune to be had if to marry. I get his type wouldn’t pressure. So, siideways a bit there with his logic to part ways. Or, the logic — you can’t have a foul interspecies marriage. His intent wasn’t to coo this bird so they’d build their love nest?

Yet, the curse is lifted by “true love” that could use a bit more ceremony of the nature of this romance, so they could fly off together. I enjoyed the description of the transformation. More of that could really put a reader there, get inside the character’s feathers. I presume she molted.

Do you imagine your reading audience when you write? You have a natural default that appeals from adolescent to young adult. I don’t know the literary standards, but “pissed” was hard. It does help define your character by choice of words. The doing the opposite thing is classic.

Overall, still imaginative and entertaining, yet raw. There’s better ways to start the story, like all the men courted a beauty before turned to bird, and your guy hung around post curse for friend/soulmate and not the pretty face. Easy reason for this punishment, getting full of self and was going to settle for some loser instead of Mr. Right. You reviewed Sonali with “The Missing Coins” and her character punished a smug son. Just a few thoughts.

Good work. I enjoy your fiction, as you have some great ways of presenting language to depict unique situations.

Sincerely,

Brian
I Write In 2025
and disAbility Writer's Group Reviewer

It might appear life is good?






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5
Review of The Missing Coins  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear THANKFUL SONALI Magical Days! Author Icon ~

This story is interesting, straightforward and gave me some things to consider about magic.

First off, characters are solid, the hook got me right into story, and the progression of story is easy to follow, with just one typo of note, “waked’ instead of “walked to the front door.”

There are moments I’m to consider how this omniscient voice sees from Martin’s perspective like a sibling maybe, like reading his mind when presumed “Mom must’ve texted Dad…” But, then narrator observes the story like we do to learn what went wrong with the trick.

As reader, observer, I was curious about the trick that failed, given his confidence and described ability. I don’t have a hollow cane to experiment with, but I might note for myself should it be a weight difference in an oft handled object that is hollow or filled once lifted. I googled the cane, going off American currency, while i could assume a Rial, unfamiliar with size and weight or the number and actual coins in trick; but, it would have to be enough to give this appearance of many so an audience might note witness.

The cane I googled how much it could dispense with however many coins. I chose a quarter with 5.67 grams weight. When totaled 80 grams, its two ounces. The cane is likely heavier because of mechanism, but three pounds tops? So, given all that with his ability, it might give a reader like me pause. If even a note that she knows the missing coins wouldn’t be sensed by removal, it might sell this better? Anyway, I did the math. Whatever unit of weight.

As a reader, I admit I missed tone in his voice, but did note the mother’s comment about “teenagers” after telling him “don’t get overconfident.” I’d invoke a Harrison Ford, “don’t get cocky kid,” myself. I didn’t see behavior on his part that makes the reveal of her ruse a valid reason for upsetting her son but sabotaging his act. I have to put it in those terms, as I’m a poor disciplinarian and have coddled one child after a spelling bee gaffe. But, he was younger.

Overall, the story functions. The ending could use a little more. Maybe, showing the son’s remorse over having acted cocky (lesson learned), over what seemed like over-confident? He does demonstrate clingy-ness…which I presume is not a desired response. It could help cinch it for a reader if more is written into justifiable demeanor?

For me, the key is to leave no doubt about the justification. Dad’s reaction seemed just on first response. Her deliberate preparedness and intake of his food seemed a bit gratuitous as smug. It can be a cultural misinterpretation on my part. But, he didn’t seem to disagree. Though, the “oh, now he’s my kid” moment doesn’t fit the tenor. It’s like a ‘don’t blame this just on me’ moment or that a child might take after a parent (unless demonstrated, but he made her food).

So, just some notes on things I saw. I like the mystery, left with anticipation in a moment of error that plays out. It could be cringe-worthy for some readers, especially if noting mom’s role. It takes its time getting to the reveal…maybe, if shorter could add justification cues. Otherwise, I question the mother’s intent, as she is punishing him for the way she behaves at the end, deciding his fate without a more direct intervention (for unnoted repeated behavior). I’d need more from her son to see unruly. But, suspect a stricter culture. Her voice intones voices I’ve heard in tv fiction that feel assured of their parental rights.

Considering the title, it could be, “THE Magic Trick.” That way this reveals more covertly in its mystery of THE true trick that played.


Sincerely,


Brian
I Write In 2025
and disAbility Writer’s Group Reviewer

I’m blind, not disabled.


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Review of 57 years ago  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
As a reviewer, I can be compulsive. The act of writing a helpful review is my aim. Clouds get pushed away, sharing these thoughts:

Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Wheelbarrow Poetry Group (Be A Member)Open in new Window.*CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Ida_Matilda_Wright Help Author Icon ~

Listing poem. Nice!
You keep it short, to the point. No words wasted, as ‘years’ is a great device to turn a reader down that memory path that bubbles up in your poem.

It’s sort of an elegy, recalling one’s own path in life, readers clued in, witnessing stations, struggles and triumphs. It’s very relatable, personable, getting to the bullet points. The importance of self-celebration is not lost on me. Who knows us better than the person who walks about in those shoes? Sometimes, we defer or deluders ourselves, forget where we came from, what drives the bus to get one to now.

Self-reliance is like a hidden note within the poem without it being writing for others to get to know the writer better. We have to be for ourselves, as we can be better prepare for life and be able to take on the weight of others’ needs. It’s selfless because it doesn’t ask bear my load. Could be an open resume to meet and find new writers to greet. It’s refreshing.

Congratulations on this poem and your WDC anniversary. I acknowledge! Account anniversary awards is off for a while. Hopefully, I can still note the people I’ve followed in these coming months just to say, I see you, with a review. Sorry, if it’s short. I’m not accustomed to my own brevity.

Warm Regards,

Brian
WDC disAbility Writer’s Group Reviewer

New consciousness.



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7
7
Review of Writer's Block  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
As a reviewer, I can be compulsive. The act of writing a helpful review is my aim. If I’m spinning, know I’ll find traction. Like any form of writing, the process teaches, when one applies a critical eye to deconstruct and build a vision from offered words, however they might present.

Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer BreakOpen in new Window.*CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Geoff Author Icon ~

This is a poem that is and isn’t about the title subject but something culled between the lines as a writer aware of this process to write truth and all that stops us from applying pen to paper. Life, as our words, have to be nuanced to consume, have considered, if even to know ‘do we speak a similar language’? As author-journalists, we could just write for ourselves, promising our words never see the light of day. However, this is a process of self-awakening that is interrupting in your poem. I clearly see the dilemma — lies are easy, truth is what is difficult.

We might project reader reaction, have someone in mind who might read, we could change the course of history and we might be overthinking it. I’m told by a former therapist, it’s a fear of success that has limited my output. That was 20 years ago. I had sought and found fame of sorts as a professional journalist. It never stopped me from hounding others or myself for truth. As one who had to be accurate, not want to disappoint, and have aired fewer than a half dozen retractions, none/nothing in the process seemed embarrassing. And, your poem reminds me. Why I write in a community while discovering myself. I need to motivate somehow, hating complacency. None of it/this deters or scares me. There was a time when it did, before all the formulations began arriving.

I think we perform better under pressure or walk away (if a 15 minute break or three years). The catalyst is there, but we tend to psyche ourselves out. We stall, as I see the poem demonstrate. There is a moment when it seems the course of history could change, projecting. Truth as in unalterable evidence can break any way. The only question seems will it be regret to keep your truth alone or take that risk. I’m for calculated risk, should odd be better than tenuously known.

We wrestle with our own words, what they should say and how, struggle to start. What road is the writer on, which path to take, tempted by the less traveled? We don’t see the end of the story (until we get there, consider), or what evidence reveals as truth. But here, the writer wrestles with fear, humility, as if a confession, one that should set oneself free (as many have been falsely prompted). This is about doubting whether it will. As a reader, specifics unknowable here. That’s where I plug in. As a relater, the importance of just a poem in earnest, revealing great consideration that can agonize, cause lament, whatever path chosen. It’s worth pondering. But, do we even wield our own pen when we attempt truth others may misinterpret (even now), it could get worse — refuted, rejected or railed against. I’ve been all up in that my whole life. People who taught righteousness repeatedly reveal as hippocrites. My tolerance is tested and the common denominator is not me.

It’s back to what taxes us, holds us back as writers. I fear failure, not success because there are so many ready to correct, not on grammar but subject? And, who don’t even know each individual’s journey through trials, reminding this reader the excuse I’m given to unplug from community and do what I want. If they need confessional writing, demonstrate something to me that’s believable so I can trust and follow in kind. But, look around. It’s all lies. Fiction everywhere. We put on our best face, not the ugliest mugshot, except that one person that wants to fit in, and realize the error of what it takes to be worthy…but accept ourselves, let no other judgment supersede.

This poem indirectly and with many awkward details perfectly demonstrates a process that can lead to this exact frustration boiling over into sadness. I can relate as reader. As we mature, push forward as writers, we might find a niche. The goal with writing doesn’t have to be to share, just care about the process. We also need passion inspired. Here I’m confronted by someone who does need to eloquently write confessional, but can. It feels as if there is a standard to meet, but the mind outduels the writer, spinning about fear, but is looking at outcomes with honesty. We know it doesn’t reward, experience taught. There is something in us that needs to lie, embellish, repair so we can move forward. Perhaps, we can’t alter history with words. Is that it?

I find the process serves a voice that has not been found. Sometimes, I don’t need it. I cast my seed-like words to a worldwide wind, if ever I’ll know, like really know, I’ve found others as passionate, as we possibly could catapult the other higher. I’ve gotten a bit away from poem concept, as I have applied myself to its formula, provoked by its author to further consider my role in a writing life. You lift me; I lift you. We go on. We’re writers.

I really did enjoy this and will consider again in the future…maybe start linking stuff folks could check out. Oh, I was ambitious just then. Yeah, set myself up (I’ll link that meme below). I’ll be happy and chirping as a lark before I remember I’m not a lark, but well meaning.

Warm Regards!
Sincerely,

Brian
WDC disAbility Writer’s Group
and Account Anniversary Reviewer
Citizen Journalist

I’m blind, not disabled.

<— this


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8
8
Review of The Id of God  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
My Review is for "I Write in 2025Open in new Window.

Review of "The Id of GodOpen in new Window.

Dear Weirdone-Back in the games Author Icon ~

Your intriguing poem may or may not be well-meaning, but I’m handling it in this review with regard to the Christian faith. Review watchers and believers may take note my attempt to raise up and send support to Christianity (suddenly wondering where are our temples here?) Let’s study your words. I went into this as doubting Brian…

I’m curious about this poem and a form that intrigues with possibilities. The use of “contrapuntal poetry” (odd name) feels like puzzling child-taught core religious notes without substantial takeaway for a reader. Seldom does the community offer much or fails to illuminate readers and reviewers like me. There’ hope.

With this form (with a writer’s eye), I might have applied sensory-filled acts (on a cross bleeding, princely thorns mocking, betrayed with a kiss, forsaken martyr — our savior). Jesus presents strong images. I don’t know how the holy trinity functions (learn here), but the poem lacks the stuff to add up its makeup via intermingled poems. Is it three woven poems, or moreover, three woven characters, elements meaning to feed off the other. It fills a form, but little enlightens with message. I’ll get into this hybrid religion in an antiquated psychologist’s bubble further along. And now, I’m feeling the burn of irony.

Usually poem forms like this are a poet’s first encounter with an activity prompt in community. Not knowing rules of form, I question its brevity when tackling religion (and psychology). Do we not desire poems of reverence with a modern plea to get back our old-time gospel and parishioners, joyfully sing the praises. Or, is this idle tom-foolery (profanity was considered — rules — vagaries)?

How to consume a poem loosely playing with subject (albeit, nod to experimental) to demonstrate as faith intends, with a Freudian eye up in it. I can’t preach, but further is my ignorance. That prompts me to research. And a wonderment: are intelligent religious poems offered anywhere that get an Amen? written for a society failing its faith, worn down with dull apathy, provoked into complacency, by outsiders bent on taking our daily bread?

And considering a poet-offered introduction to further play on title, Freudian psychology seems parody or lack of God-valued reverence. (Did the famous psychologist make this conclusion, or be assumed?) I see this review as an opportunity to reveal ideological flaws amid an earnest theological/psychological fusion that still may offend the remaining devout. And, maybe that’s to be part of the poem appeal.

I’m happy to be shown my wrong-headed notions, as well. The poem title should entice, as the title line, “Contrapuntal poetry from my idea that the Trinity are God's ego, superego, and id...”

There’s a genuine ache beneath my words — as I desire spiritual poems to mean something again, feel live, with reverence, and attuned with a modern malaise in society. The Id of God offers a surface-level novelty, lacks depth in either theology or the emotive.

Let’s unpack with a critical eye, yet open heart, honoring my devout mother’s example, while giving you the dignity of my best consideration.


This form is rich in possibilities: voices, time, or states of being intermingling and elevating meaning with texture. Here, the Holy Trinity akin to Freud’s psychic structure: ego, superego, and id are interwoven. Rather than insight or new reverence gained, this felt more like a play of parts — theological cosplay came to mind, over hopeful spiritual encounter.

The poem uses three characterizations:
• The Father is just
• The Son is kind
• The Spirit is Holy

Immediate reduction is evident. This makes centuries of doctrine and lived experience into moral flashcards. What could have been — the Godhead imagined through psychology — reads as generalities.

Each trio of lines after patterns about the same, just as simplistic:
• Always strong / Sometimes healing / Always present
• Sometimes destructive / Always loving / Always working

How to align these traits with id/ego/superego? with the Trinity? It’s unclear for me. I get stuck at the Spirit is “Holy” and ‘Sometimes destructive’? This might imply the Spirit represents the id as unruly or chaotic. Or, the Father (ego?) is “Always working” but governs through divinity? I don’t see theological or psychological comparison to help a reader make connections. It’s more of guessing game.

The final three lines for me attempt a moral takeaway:
• Makes us think of him / Makes us desire him / Makes us act like him.

Makes us desire him especially jars. What sort of desire? Spiritual hunger? Carnal longing? Obedience? Worship? This offers little to go on. I suggest ‘desire’ in Freudian terms leans hard into that meaning. Without further development, this feels more awkward than profound...if even the aim than some light word play.

Your note (light, casual) reveals the poem as more of an exercise or play. That’s fine to workshop. I seek gravity or humility, or something that acknowledges God when invoking. Comparing the Trinity with Freudian terms isn’t so offensive — but does demand care. I can’t fully see this as thouht through or in earnest.

If you’re going for satire, it needs insight with bite. If sincere, needs more development. Maybe, for theoretical, clarity can do it well. Too glib to be reverent and too vague to be subversive.

Summarizing with my thoughts:
• What human POV in this poem? Where is Christ’s bleeding side? or mother at the tomb, a sad world waiting for God?
• The Id of God as title might have set the wheels in motion for this, but not showing or fully realized.
• What would it mean if God did have a superego!? It’s fun to consider. or if the Spirit was the id? Would that make a reader uncomfortable, or show something we’ve ignored? Go with that.

This poem feels more of a rough draft of an idea. And for divinity, ideas alone aren’t really enough when setting out to write. You’re not wrong for experimenting. But what remains missing is communion — with spirit, with reader, and with language that risks the trembling of belief.

It was a pleasure considering this conceptual piece during a time when Christianity feels a bit on the skids. I was hoping for more, with some revelation. Maybe, I did/have. At least, prompted to consider with having ideas of that form and many things I could write.

Sincerely,

Brian
disAbility Writer’s Group
and “I Write in 2025” reviewer

I’m blind, not disabled.


Phew. Sending it. Off! Off my plate, foul review!


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9
9
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
My Review of “Haiku For Contemplation”

Dear Apondia Author Icon ~

I’m reading your triple haiku, Haiku For Contemplation, for I Write in 2025. I’m intrigued by and enjoy not only writing but consuming haikus, especially to lend thoughts with feedback. Grouping three haikus in one poem is something I’ve become familiar with recently years and enjoy these expansions of thought through anything like ordered progression. After reading, "Haiku for ContemplationOpen in new Window., I initially formed questions to ask myself:

What is the goal of each haiku here, specifically what takeaways? What is the goal of a triple haiku and what is achieved here?

Described as “3 Haiku for Contemplation” what personal bias can a reader use to contemplate on and envision?
Do transitions operate smoothly and keep the haiku form function and with flow?
Where are summary thoughts contained, and is the final summary reflecting back on all?

What is contemplated amid imagery, motifs or themes with any connecting sensory to reveal scenes? Is narrative in the way or complimentary?

This triple haiku fills form requirements, but lacked focus for me. I noted some awkward and passive language to check out. Where I feel strongest is conclusion of 2nd haiku, maybe better as open to that haiku? Read “weather” used four times, while lacking some details. Anything like squalls, thunder, light rain or other elements in scene to connect nature details to “wisdom” theme. Poem would benefit from sensory impulses to inform/tease a reader to plug in. I have so much to say on this. I think anything from me will seem dissertation.

As a professional journalist, I know poetry is akin to radio news copy I had written with brevity and imagery to illuminate listeners’ minds. Haikus serve a similar purpose. Since haikus traditionally capture fleeting moments in nature to get inward reflection, they work quite well on their own with minimalism and the smallest of evidence to give imagery and sensory details life of their own before a reader’s watchful eye. It lends to each person’s collective imagination. Your poem I’ve noted with a weather motif, both literal and metaphorical. I do see opportunities to get more out of this fresh write.

Each haiku seems to convey a knowing wisdom with natural observation. The first haiku introduces weather in transition, using breezes and clouds to foretell storms. The second haiku tries to link these observations to wisdom through the cycles of nature. The third summarizes this as learning used as a method before it quickly cuts to ‘a peaceful daily life’. I did struggle a bit to full grasp what you offer this reader, made my own assumptions to fill. Through questions derived, I have takeaways for you.

This is a “triptych structure’ and what I learned is it might intend to simulate movement from observation to learning to this applied wisdom. But, the transitions are slightly abrupt. Haikus, even when tripled, usually thrive on some tension between image and what that implies, or for this reader to infer. It feels what you have here tells a reader rather than allow those depictions offered to wash over a witness to feel or discover through poetic suggestion. Maybe, the missing link is elements that closely depict sensory details.

Suggestions I came up with:

First Haiku —

My wife and I discussed “Marshmallow clouds” just as a visual representation. It took third to cotton and popcorn. Yours is a soft, childlike image, which contrasted with “tomorrow’s storms,” a metaphor that didn’t deepen our understanding. Could the clouds be given more tension, like swollen, looming, visual suggestion for what’s impending? The other thought here is about “gusty breezes” which functions but seen as too generic. A verb or detail that gives more could sharpen it. I both see and hear “snapping flags” or “ruffling maple leaves” that both bring about memory, possibly nostalgia.

Second Haiku —
“Watching weather swell” stuck out for me as an example of passive writing. I do it all the time, likely in this review. I like to catch these in editing, preferring to cull my feelings into words, be in that moment as much as possible. A haiku like yours can have true immediacy with weather development. You might consider making this central link more sensory or visceral (gut feeling). I can recall times I had to quick pack it in, low clouds, winds blowing stuff around is my general feeling about storm approach. And those first droplets, quick downpours, and more. I don’t have to tell you. Sometimes, when I write this, my mind harnesses memories that access experience mostly.

As clouds swelling, what it might look like then feelings that emerges. I did enjoy the last line of this haiku, “Knowledge grows wisdom.” That’s is a truism that does tells rather than evoke, but I like it as your overall takeaway after a storm progression. The peaceful part actually strategizes the epiphany here. But, is wisdom being shown through anything sensory and metaphoric, or through an image of someone acting wisely in response to change? Even a narrative voice can show progression here…a very nuanced one. Might be a tall task, if in that quest.

Third Haiku —

The phrase “Earth weather routine” was too abstract for my tastes, further does not ground in imagery but generalizes. found in classic haiku. “Quick weather response” is also not describing yet. The final line, “Peaceful daily life,” also would be more compelling if more had been shown to get here. Like I said about “Knowledge grows wisdom” as summary, you might have your best line coupling that could finish (“With a…) peaceful daily life/knowledge grows wisdom.”

On Contemplation, my Takeaway:

My core question was “What do readers contemplate after reading?” There’s potential with your poem to explore details of nature unfolding and what reveals that makes us wise to live more harmoniously. With the takeaway could come stronger images with sensory words that vividly described, immerse a reader to separate from page and apply one’s own bias. I think of moisture carried by wind on skin, how alert or quiet the denizen around us, smell of rain, etc. Imagery can provide layered meaning. General summations might seem cliche, dry or idiomatic.

Speaking of Narrative Flow —

Another approach that might abandon some previous notes here. I see a sort of progression happening from early observation to arrive at understanding before takeaway. Yet, these haikus don’t quite arc or reflect back on all. Maybe, the final haiku could circle back to an initial, offered image, before ‘voila’, changed by experience? I think how some deem a bear sighting as a transcendent experience for knowledge or a rite of passage. Maybe, some descriptive element in scene can be that signal of wisdom passed on?

This triple haiku honors form’s tradition, and your noted journalism background gives you a trained eye for observed cycles and patterns to report. I’d encourage taking more risk, even if figurative with less explaining. I’d suggest giving images sensory thoughts and feelings that speak, and trust the reader to relate, decode, come away with beautifully unique reveries of their own. You’re basically giving a very special weather report from heart and soul to responding hearts and souls of readers.

If you should rewrite, I would enjoy seeing and relating this offering.

Sincerely,

Brian
disAbility Writer’s Group
and I Write In 2025 Reviewer

I’m blind, not disabled.



Ran out of time to finish editing for clarity. Sorry.



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10
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Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Marvelous One/Marvella,

It’s clear from the poem you are moved to share deep appreciation for veterans and want to honor their courage. There’s sincerity here that should be preserved. You do well to honor these soldiers, offering a tone of earnest gratitude and reverence.

Overall, your poem reveals a noble heart, like a direct appeal that truly respects sacrifices made by U.S. veterans. The acrostic form, (HONORING OUR VETERANS), is admirable and a thoughtful construction, though some lines reach a bit to fit form, leading to some strain in the otherwise good rhythm and word choice.

I like imagery choices here, especially in the first stanza, giving this reader that sense of fatigue, with struggle and grit. Words like ‘heavy sack’, ‘endless miles’, and ‘breathing heavy from exhaustion’ are all effective and create a clear picture of the reality of life served in armed services. The middle section also reflected purpose and resolve well.

That second half of the poem leans more into the abstract, like philosophical territory. It adds righteous anger, sacrifice, and some political conflict. Perhaps, not what a veteran might want to hear. You would benefit from keeping the context of poem in that personal or emotional language, rather than things like “terrorism is not tolerated here.” But, it’s really not judged or read by many veterans for this activity/contest. Just a suggestion.

Perhaps, you could make a shift in part two toward why these things matter to you or for us, in regards to freedom, loved ones, safety. Then, it would connect more deeply for readers, judges. Maybe, you could try finishing by bringing the poem back to the personal, like, “To every soul who served — our thanks, our pride, our memory preserved.” Maybe, just vivid verbs and tighten the rhyme somehow could heighten emotional impact and continue the challenge of the acrostic letters with a bit more verve.

Now, I do note some gaffes. And as you said in the “I Write” forum, time to give it a rest. I hear you there. I can point out some stuff for you to look at to tighten this up, when you’re ready.

Spelling/Grammar Suggestions (I see six right off) —

1. Honering is Honoring
2. isles should be aisles (referring to paths…although, if metaphorically, “isles” could work, but it’s a stretch unless more offered to clarify)
3. emit, but I think you mean commit (“emit” would be giving off light, or sound, or gas…but not what I think you meant here)
4. Vengence is spelled Vengeance
5. faught is fought
6. saught is sought

Unless we got some military-type slang at work on the last two, of that I’m not aware.

Phrasing could be improved in a few areas (a few areas to consider) —

• Line 6: “Into the unknown, unfamiliar isles” — if keeping “isles,” you could make it more vivid or metaphorical with things like ‘isles of dread’ or ‘isles of fate’ or clarify the image further there, or even a change to “aisles” if you’re referring to passageways or symbolic paths a soldier takes.

• Line 14: “Angry souls casting weapons to have satisfied” — the meaning of this one is a bit unclear. Consider revising for clarity, if you mean something more like, ‘Angry souls cast weapons, seeking peace unsatisfied’. Another attempt, ‘Angry souls cast weapons, their fury unappeased’. Or, the like.

• Lines 15–16: there might be another approach to connecting these lines more clearly to help a reader, and to show your poem’s larger sentiment. One suggestion for you could try is something like…

“Never-ending wars that leave us distraught,
Yet the sovereignty of nations is bravely sought.”

This poem you offer would likely mean something to a veteran who reads it. You keep hanging in there. Got my bad days, too. I encourage you to keep writing from the heart, your support of military will surely uplift them on a difficult day.

Sincerely,

Brian
disAbility Writer’s Group
and I Write In 2025 Reviewer

I’m blind, not disabled.



Should you want me to re-review, I’m happy to reconsider post any edits.



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11
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Review of Her All Along  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear ivey Author Icon ~

Just a quick assessment on reread (with dissertation to follow, mostly for the review watchers), the first four couplets are the heart and essence of this poem that offer the true reveal, indirectly pointing to either misunderstood or deceptive statement with a back door escape hatch. As you offer, he still has no leg to stand on, brand it cheating. Even non-exclusive doesn’t cover it. People thinking themselves clever for their simplistic, narcissistic tendencies leave that hatch to escape from false or non-disclosure in statement, readied with gaslight, usually the extension that can be persuaded and granted in event there is noted duplicity without complicity of the addled victim.

The rest of the poem is more from emotion, informed by pain, can’t get fully untangled from it. The act of writing a poem such as this is one’s own escape vehicle, one that takes great purchase to own because a lie is a lie until proven or disproved. I appreciate the take, the approach, knowing this is therapeutic, a bit rehashing with a bit rehearsing to convince oneself they needn’t feel pain from what surprisingly victims own. It’s not your baggage, dear poet. Drop the bags, poem narrator. I do not have the power, only you, to release you from ill-gotten indebtedness.

I know a woman who let a man get so close to her, he financially ruined her, putting her in deeper debt. It’s her agony, with a soul disgraced, barely able to get by, with just a thankless, menial job with a son who won’t visit, and a daughter who left to go live with her dad (who has died) and half a world away with no association with her because of poor choices. I think she punishes herself. I relive so much hearing stories like this conveyed in ode. But, you are over a year away. I write and publicly share my reviews, if any care to bear witness.

I missed sending a review for this one out as an Account Anniversary Reviewer. Doing anniversary reviews and see accounts like yours that appear abandoned, now 13 months after initial start up. Yeah I am here to acknowledge from a group your membership, which lhas not offered new writing past the first two weeks oafter opening your account. And the subject matter that draws my eye among five entries still remaining, is similar to what I find in other one year accounts that have no current activity. And, subject matters covered like yours not dissimilar to that by folks who feel empty, or, left out by society, by loved ones.

I’m still thinking of the song, looking for love in all the wrong places, and writing this. With Writing.Com, the oasis-purgatory, there is escape. I fear the worst, hope for the best, when wondering about the lost ones or society’s misfits. And this is where some may have felt the tide changed for them, when their writing got them a tap on their shoulder and seemed their only outlet. For some, apparently it doesn’t happen, and they still have their words located here. They might come back to read a review, such as this. And speaking of said review, here lies my take of the poem you have offered.

My respects,

Brian
disAbility Writers Group Reviewer

I’m blind, not disabled.


My aim to lend feedback is, and is not, for me. I serve the writer/their heart and passion sought with words, foremost.
More in private blog entries illuminate ‘watchers’. Apologies to the author for applying this worthy platform that extends knowledge to any seeking, whether because or that absence of wavelength that might lift us from mysteries into the safety of what we know our convictions truly seek to represent. That’s why I offer ‘them’ these public reviews.


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Review of Contest Entries  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Dear Angelica Weatherby- Heat On Author Icon ~

Your take on the Mulberry Bush rhyme as retro-fitted vehicle got my child memory to relate right from the open of your six couplet entry "Contest EntriesOpen in new Window. for "Monsters Under The Bed - CLOSEDOpen in new Window..

I did puzzle at first when considering “undead statue” but it sank in as I read on, perhaps from the joyful, sing-songy repetition in first verse. I was reminded of the game “statues,” imaging the likely added ‘undead’ quality in the child-stylized adaptation of the game relying on playing pretend.

The process of story-poem progression is the next detail, and this for me would be a great way to spin the Wizard of Oz, collecting characters down a yellow brick road. This opportunity gives me wonder how Dorothy’s adventure could be spun, re-enacted here. You could either end or begin with undead stature to either introduce Dorothy at start with the undead statue and anything met enroute to…? Would she then be an undead girl? Does she find her dog at end, lacking a horror adjective/modifier for Toto at this moment, but the terrier (terror *Laugh*) could eat the other creatures to save Dot at the end. Just some thoughts that gave me pause. I could try an entry of my own on that note. But offered here to you, should you like to take a new approach.

Otherwise, what you have here is straightforward. Considering contest rules, some action outcome would help fit with rule/suggestion 3: “Put your own dark twist on the poem. Your version can be mysterious, dark, or horror.” I didn’t see mystery or horror. It loosely plays as dark. What you have here could easily adapt, given the formula in place, just plugging in new details to get action, more of a story, for reader (usually with something implied like moral, at end).

Your poem could be about defeating scary monsters along the way. It might be about focusing on the undead stature, briefly coming to life like a thing in Scooby Doo trope when they’re investigating (dark scene, flashlights) but only the dog or Shaggy witness while the others, as disbelievers, shush them because the dog is a goof, but definitely the group’s talking anthropomorphic Lassie. In one scenario, Fred and Daphne (posers?) could be killed by the monsters, the other three could succumb to the zombie/undead or defeat it at end.

Scenario 2, the first thought I had, going back to Oz. However they assemble or come to life, Dot could escape with or without Toto…perhaps each creature sent to kill or join. However demise of whom or whatever, something gruesome occurs (even off camera, and they disappear). Then, repeat with banality, as the open stands now, to finish on the first verse. The undead could be envisioned as harmless at outset, comes to life, or off camera devours, as only one hint reveals to tease a reader what becomes of the entourage. I envision something of a Venus flytrap, where the undead devours other evil, whatever, however.

The idea of this idle corpse at end evokes images for me, seen in this way, shows or implies some action. Simply, the statue is as innocuous as a frozen snowman. I see this frozen undead with a bit of evidence like blood and/or flesh on its mouth. Playing with the poetry lyric: “If you don’t look out the statue/undead/zombie will come to life whenever you’re around!”

That was fun. I’d love to know if any of this can help with your entry. Truly, I have stumbled upon a great vehicle that could produce several similar entries in either Oz or Scooby Gang formulas alone, where I see so many moving pieces, the child’s game could go on for hours killing monster villains or the unsuspecting gang; even Scooby could eat whatever to rid evil or rid the others. He’s pretty tight with Shaggy, who could become possessed zombie, to be saved or killed. Stakes don’t work on zombies? Off track now, thinking of Dracula.

This is tight as is, straightforward, mild enough for young adolescents. If I had kids, I’d be making this game up for them to invite neighbor kids to play in the back yard, ASAP. What better time than summer. Horror with a snowman in winter now appears to mind, killing the mailman, dog-walker, milkman…clearly in the 50s. I’d definitely off those door-to-door Jehovahs (no offense if this is your sect), package deliverers (no offense if you toil with weird online orders), and meter readers (*Meh*). Lots to play with. Good luck in the contest!

Sincerely,

Brian
disAbility Writer’s Group
and I Write in 2025 Reviewer

I’m blind, not disabled.


I can’t edit this any more. Hope it’s readable, rambles less than the usual.


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13
13
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
As a reviewer, I can be compulsive. The act of writing a helpful review is my aim. Clouds get pushed away before sharing these thoughts.

Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer BreakOpen in new Window.*CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary audra_branson Author Icon ~

I chose to review you because you had your account anniversary yesterday. I perused several poems before I landed on this. The last two version of your poem are absolutely beautiful. So much so, I think that would ideally serve as a great start to your poem. It would really hook a reader and get your message off with a bang, with the supporting thoughts that follow. I also get why it nicely ends poem. But should you consider a small way of getting that ending is intone thst open, repeating a few lines up to adding two new to it to bring it home. Just an idea.

The imagery and sensory connected to nostalgic melancholy resonated where this poem sums up. I want to revisit this first in my review. Noting a meter and rhyme that carries throughout, it felt like you hit your stride here:

Silence your sight, take a breath,
listen to my voice.
Aging is the way of creation,
it isn't a choice.

Take my hand for a minute;
let me share.
Remind me 'fore my time is through,
that someone cares.


This narrative voice permeates poem message to really demonstrate the power of the aged speaker. ‘Silence your sight’ nails it. — gold. In a world preaching inclusion there is still hypocrisy and especially where women are made to self-assess physical appearance as they age. We went from shaming those industries who sell beauty products, produce visual materials, advertise fashion, how to look (youth factors) and ‘what are you wearing’ on red-carpet Hollywood that produces movies with two beautiful, straight people, man and woman. Beside the point.

So, this poem can cause people to reassess ageism; but without a media movement or further outcry, we no longer care. Many seniors are detracting from the whole because their bodies stop producing necessary chemicals to sustain youth. Slower speech, reflexes, vision loss and more creates negativity, considered a detriment callously. Youth gets the narrative because they will spend their money. It’s not unlikely that youth are discouraged to respect elders as in other cultures. We don’t want those free-wheeling kids to put money in savings. The aged could tip them off.

Your poem focuses at the end of the natural order of things, the acceptance. This wisdom in the poem feels like a message to the world, showing strength, calm. These words and intimations are valuable, as our youth who really need direction can see. Pair them with seniors, each helps the other. Programs out there? But, getting off track, this ends with a need to know warmth of love in world departure. This is potentially uplifting and sad all at once, brings a frown knowing people dying every hour without a loved one at their side. But, also know they don’t really get desired attention. Hopefully, a nurse Angel will be by their side with a morphine drip.

The second stanza like many others is simply put. I like this for the voice. The careful consideration of chosen words is witnessed here. These are valuable first three words in verse 2 is hitting all the right notes. It’s solid reporting to reader that helps remove the mask of appearance to show there is beating beneath that breathing for one who has much left yet to give. Line four is smart to caution, because of bias that shapes what a potential listener might consider. It would mean having to deflect, if not demure from past response as disinterest, so it seems.

This poem evenly describes — Is clean to read, with a relatable subject matter that intones theme with the wisdom it provides. Don’t judge the face of someone and not the heart and soul. It really is dehumanizing to think. Well done.



Sincerely,

Brian
WDC disAbility Writer’s Group
and Account Anniversary Reviewer

Image #2337000 over display limit. -?-



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for entry "Teaching: My PassionOpen in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Dear Humming Bird,

I hear selflessness, a passion for education being fulfilled as a conduit for the joy received for those efforts mentioned in this blog entry. It’s a very candid offering, considering the types that felt need to wrinkle their noses at you. I’m still hearing old world judgment remains, rather than the generational tides adjusting the social landscape with the times. You seem to take it in stride, as your blog entry feels effortless, directly reveals in what is a confessionary style of writing. The candor is sweet, gives me lots of images. Good images. I miss my kids being little because it allowed me to show another side of myself, act like a kid again, relive childhood. Because of this, your experiences can be multi-dimensional and connected with your own understanding from remembrances of youth.

Really this is rare for me to experience something like this, and half a world away and feel I’m near to warm spirit, the exact opposite of a nihilistic universe that calculates and manipulates. In these times, people still rob the well-meaning souls unfortunately coerced.. it can’t be ignored. It’s good to see this kind of kindness, though. My acts continue, (ir)regardless. I mirror your behavior and add my sentiments of what a wonderful thing you are doing. I can honestly believe you can do this and be there for yourself where nasal bones are tempted to reshape … ”crook.” I befuddled Google’s AI with your figure of speech. It went on about rhinoplasty. *RollEyes*

I’m actually hunting for unique words right now, including the familial lexicon with quirky onomatopoeia-like ability. I’ll have to include figures of speech like this. ‘Crooked noses’ could also be ‘sour pusses’, too.

Congratulations on your joy and happy purpose, and thanks for sharing.

Warm Regards,

Brian
WDC disAbility Writer’s Group
and I Write in 2025 Reviewer.

I’m blind, not disabled.



What I learned while Googling to lend feedback, I got this AI assist —.

“‘Regardless’ and ‘irregardless’ are often used interchangeably, both meaning ‘without regard to’ or ‘despite everything’. However, ‘irregardless’ is generally considered nonstandard in formal writing and professional communication. While some dictionaries recognize ‘irregardless,’ it's often seen as a mistake or a variation of ‘regardless’.
Here's a more detailed breakdown….
Regardless:
This is the standard word and is widely accepted in formal and informal contexts. It means ‘without regard to’ or ‘not affected by’.
Irregardless:
This word is formed by adding the prefix ‘ir-‘ to ‘regardless.’ While it means the same thing as ‘regardless,’ it is considered nonstandard because of the double negative and its perceived awkwardness. It's best to avoid ‘irregardless’ in formal writing and stick with ‘regardless’.”

I’m didactic, AI is a bit pedantic.
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/eng...


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15
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Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Dear Tim Chiu Author Icon ~

I approached your poem through the website’s read and review link (I never seem to get these reviews done before timer runs out. I’ll sit on it for another hour to work out the kinks.).

I’ve often tried to consume your poetry, encouraged early on by auto-rewards, which I don’t visit anymore. Your poem has a lot going on, seemingly a free associated write, but clicking on something auditory, reaching for lyrical, where roadblocked by punctuation, enjambment amid line breaks that are unusually employed. I’m focusing on the language that appears to lack a consistent message, maybe from any metaphor, to include symbolism or imagery. Nouns don’t appear to be concrete and there is some personifying that arrives as a bit of oddity.

Phrases that befuddle include: “Managed chaos comes to grips…” or the verse’in part:

“That cavalcade, that cavalry,
Slide the muffin, every day -
Enjoy the modest revelry,
Span the journey - say, don’t say!”

Really, the muffin? I don’t want to hunt the internet for loosely applied words that don’t hint at a particular vernacular. I feel universal language foremost helps readers. The title primes not the read for me. The poem’s pacing can’t be denied, but punctuation is like metal barbs

Ticking Upward: The Folks Get Primed is the first awkward thing for me to consume. I lean on my spouse from time to time, as we lounge in our living room, and bounced a few things off her tonight. She had a similar reaction to what I read, not knowing how precise my intonation of the words. Her general frustration to comprehend, I guess, is understandable.

The poem displays what might be a stretch to describe as a surrealist patchwork. More likely, a string of disjointed images and phrases that stitch together for more of a rhythm and rhyme, rather than provide some clarity or resonate with me thematicly.

Here are a few observations we concurred on, before she slipped out, with further interpretation

Looking at Language and Coherence

The lack of consistent message, metaphor, or concrete imagery did seem central in consideration for better understanding. I googled what I needed a term to describe and came up with a kind of “performative lyricism,” which means you have an ear for sound and rhythm when you compose. You drive the poem with the clips and phrases that did not provide any meaning. I first got stuck at “Slide the muffin, every day” appearing to be whimsical, bordering on deliberately absurd. We could not find argument for any deeper symbolic intent. I did learn surrealist poets play with abstraction while maintaining tonal control, where this feels arbitrary or a patchworked poem.

My instinct as a poetry observer and composer is to pay attention to nouns that we both agreed didn’t appear concrete, or the odd use of personification among them that seemed to have no function. I was tempted to google vernacular usage at several junctures, but felt I’d end up over-decoding (hunting for meaning that isn’t there) like I’m prone to do. It might disengage a reader, having to stop, think, make argument for every vague statement.

I took note of Punctuation and Line Breaks

I likened the punctuation to read like speed bumps, as if randomly placed. I am prone to fail with line breaks, punctuation, but take notes and get better by sounding it out. Once my ears collect the evidence, I have many choices to make for pauses up to dramatic reveal, and have consistency. The dashes, semicolons, and abrupt enjambments on these short lines either break poem flow or come blurted, non-sequitur phrases, but interfere with comprehension. These “metal barbs” draw attention to themselves in a way that disrupts what you express, further weigh-laying a reader.

As to Imagery and Diction

The poem toys with “sonic pleasure” (it’s about alliteration and rhyme). I found that reference in response of terms like “legal eagle,” “concomitant,” and “dead-red” that were without tonal harmony. This read could range from anything elevated, colloquial or nonsensical (“bump, disparage” or “modest revelry”). However, with a rewrite, it would be interesting to ground voice, so it doesn’t come across like skittering wordplay, which I’ve also been guilty of.

I generally thought pacing and rhythmic confidence give your poem some momentum, but needs to button down to get a clearer meaning or emotional feel. While there’s evident play with language and sound, the quick shifts in tone and the surreal with juxtapositions might disorient a reader, less than intrigued.

I can’t imagine reaching for the unique “slide the muffin” or “managed chaos comes to grips,” that as stand alone could be prompts to challenge poets. The title did little to framework the read, but act with significance before poem message. The lack of concrete imagery or metaphorical logically consistent makes it difficult for a reader to grasp what you’re relaying.

You seem passionate about this, share so much here, it’s unfortunate I can’t capture what may be social commentary to offer something to intone message. For me, the poem is ambiguity. I’d suggest consider areas to amp clarity, bring message home.

I tried to give your poem a thoughtful read, make use of google and espouse opinion to see if I could draw more from this. My advice would be to notice poetry devices, the poem’s mechanics and see if there’s a particular emotional arc or imagery thread you hoped would come from this. I’m around, will likely happen upon you again.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC disAbility Writer’s Group Reviewer

I’m blind, not disabled.


I wrote this review several days ago, fingers crossed I didn’t need to go over again to look for errata.


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16
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Review of God  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Noting your comment: I don’t think it needs to be longer, because it sends a message that can cause a reader to ponder and consider how they feel. It can be offense in its demonstration of dark humor, sacrilegiously lampoons religion and parody of communion and the body of Christ. It even flippantly calls God deity as if it fits in the mythological pantheon.

Some would say it’s brave to offer, but maybe a response to seeing too much crosses and reverant offerings with childlike eminence, focusing on religious themes, including prayer, poetic odes, and stories that owe all to Him. The mockingbirds don’t exhume scripture to use as moral in fable. So, I can imagine this arrives as response.

Maybe, seeing too many personal Jesus tone setters? Whether they appear to be daft, or dealing with health crises, a lot of over-focus pervades community and culture here. I’ve not seen them apply righteousness or declarations against sins. And it’s really a small part of community. That’s why I imagine this bit of poetry leapt to mind.

Your ditty plays on brevity, a lyrical tone, as would a child-like rumination or taunt. I too dabble in this kind of word play with dark wit for people who seek dominion over others. Religion feels conformist, but true conformity comes from shadowed whisperers and innocents with a nod to God.

I can neither claim this is good or bad. It’d be a tic or an itch to scratch before going on to the next thing. I think X, formerly Twitter, is well-suited for this. It’s not necessarily timely, but could be one part of a writer platform, a snippet in bio. It does give a good representation of impression.

Your poem’s strength could be no fear, if not to taunt the devout with overall limited understanding of Christian belief. It puts God down on the communion table for me. So, it’s an expression, then. It’s really not eating Him.

I’ll try my own here:
Let’s all squeal, God is great!
God tastes good! Let’s have God
for every meal.

And by meal, consume the Bible. Just found this in read and respond link at website, to get some practice with brevity in review.

Write On,

Brian
WDC disAbility Writers Group Reviewer

I’m blind, not disabled.


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17
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Review of April Danger  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
As a reviewer, I can be compulsive. The act of writing a helpful review is my aim. I’m prone to error.

Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer BreakOpen in new Window.*CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Dorianne Author Icon ~

Loved how this poem "April DangerOpen in new Window. sets up. I have a backyard that blooms an array each year, fearing that our two unique Rose of Sharon hibiscus plants may have died with the topsy-turvy Winter-Spring weather. They like many others have been a lot of work to maintain, but let’s look at your garden of words here and see what blooms.

Right off, there is a voice and rhyme that feel natural, comfortable that I wanted to roam with my own eyes, too. I know from sickly, as you described, obviously there’s an amount of work to maintain perennials. Through this dreaming lens I could see someone who’d long for the wonderful flowers mentioned, to weed out that scene with a desire to have planted abd be able to witness their returning beauty. I’m reminded that I have not loved enough to protect my own through winters past. So, when they survive, it’s the joy I’m reminded of here. What sights to behold something I have nurtured. So, worse when I’ve failed. Here, this idea juxtaposes a bit my own garden life.

The narrator doesn’t fully reveal, but could further show dismay that the petchulant flowers endanger curious cats who will chomp a plant, possible reasons other than lodged furballs, but attraction that has done in some of our house plants in early years. I’m not certain what makes a pet-friendly garden and can’t be sure if some or all plants you’ve mentioned pose a risk. Poison does arrive from many flowers, thinking of Oleander in particular.

So, the spring flowers that need go away are wild? I couldn’t assume any of flowers mentioned were growing anywhere but in narrator’s imagination. So, a little confusion on my end. Otherwise, nice pace to read, good flow, rhyme also comfortable here. You have solid imagery. Some readers might not know how to envision these specific species mentioned. It would be nice to see a visual clue planted with each beauty revealed, like attribute, what gives them their name, or the like.

So, a little trouble editing for clarity with my feedback. Think it’s in order now. I’m happy to have discovered this poem. Thanks for sharing and Happy Account Anniversary.

Sincerely,

Brian
WDC disAbility Writer’s Group
and Account Anniversary Reviewer

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18
18
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer BreakOpen in new Window.*CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary Lou-Here By His Grace Author Icon ~

This review was started awhile back, so now finish. I enjoyed the concept, construct and central metaphor at work with your well woven poem, "Spinning a Web of DeceitOpen in new Window.. Just as an immediate reaction to the finish with my first read through. You do well to summarize and echo the key elements of the poem. My humble opinion, for what it’s worth, is to edit more and polish this gem.

I see things at first glance that could lend improvement, making for further clarity and brevity in these expressions. The first verse is visual and stimulating to this reader, for my mind’s eye can visualize and quickly assess the fresh take on spinning a web of decit, just as a spider traps its food. In this, on one with love to harvest. Essentially, a narcissistic to sociopathic leaning into holding dominion over another. A theme I’m often aware I could become a victim of, if I don’t proceed with caution.

But, love is naive, throws caution to the wind. It is blind to these traps and realization comes late.

First verse:
Dirty legged spiders
Crawl slowly through
The reality of our relationship,
Slowly spinning.
Spin-spinning away
Creating a web of deceit.

The Description is decidedly creepy. Gives visual that I’m sure would make some shudder. I wondered if there is singularity or if spiders plural can embody that, as with things that clue us in to the trap? The end was too on the nose. I like description over being plainly told ‘deceit’. You could end on web, or even something more obtuse that describes and connects the construct and its impending goal with a little foreboding in this layout to give the narrator more emotion or connection to this? Maybe, I’m obtuse. Hopefully I can employ my reaction more concretely going forward.

The next verse intrigued, but was maybe needing a better description than ‘March forth’ which feels like ants, getting away from characteristics that both intone a spider’s movement akin to a manipulator. The second half references images of its unseemly but frail nature. As it tears, I couldn’t get a feel if this revealing about the ineffectiveness of the web, if more could be specifically implied.

What I’m thinking about at this point is progression and how revealations reveal before batting at those webs. If there are words that could focus on the quotes, perhaps show either what the narrator is seeing with the utterances to employ those hands in reaction. I think the two verses directly correlate and could boil down to one, keeping metaphor poignant and functional while employing imagery connected to the senses. This is transitional and most important to relate. I can take the leap that this trap will be spotted. The poem can be even more impactful and connect to readers who want to find something of themselves in there to see something transforming.

Which brings me to:
As I bat clinging cobwebs
Away from my face
And cringe at the image
Of being cocooned, entombed
By soft threads
That become the ropes
That moored me.

Sounds like someone’s nightmare or a video the tortured are forced to watch. I can accept a redirect to metamorphism, change. The aim being a beautiful butterfly. I believe this could be in spite of or because of the manipulation that gives light to a learned and experienced narrator, who can choose to steal the webs and transform oneself, rather than be devoured by receptor. Just a simpler and clearer reference could begin the process of bringing this home.

Other notes —
I don’t get a good visual imprint of this spider like entity, whether it be one individual or just a collection of references from experience building an allegory or tale with moral or revelation. Building a good setting from start, building emotion and a sequence or two through some well defined acts can be like a play, similar to five acts, thinking of each verse as an act. It’s almost there. It could be as far as Alice in Wonderland to other fables.

Now, that last verse is on point. I almost can imagine this narrator has tuned out while the hapless spider inducing other is spinning lies. It’s as if we become aware, as if an all-to-familiar scenario has embarked. The speaker is in control, offering door A or B here. Which feels very familiar. The narrator could leave, but maybe knows the consequences and for untold reasons will likely stay a little longer, knowing it’s non-threatening as yet. If anything, insulting. This can go in any direction. My takeaways, 1. No other options, stays over being alone or forced out to meet yet another scenario and repeat, 2 there’s a reason to stay that is greater than the ‘dirty’ trap, 3 mental conditioning into politeness or too nice to excuse oneself, 4 is likely, ironically, the true spider, the speaker outsmarted the ignorant deceiver to get what they want from this ‘relationship’. Like I said, the evaluating voice here is in control.

I deal with similar situations every day, know when I’m being used. It’s usually better than the alternative. But, manage to stick around too long and just stick it out. That’s how I relate. On a larger scale, the world post Machiavellian, pre-dystopian, every one is employing narcissistic traits for gain, because it is the (corporate) way (handbook on manipulation?). But the fabric of society tears. Fewer victims, maybe manipulators lose. I’m in the minority, happily hop in a web where I might still make do.

Sorry. This was a read and review I picked up from awhile back, just sitting in review tool. You’ve obviously stimulated this reader that relates.

Brian
WDC disAbility Writer’s Group
and Account Anniversary Reviewer

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19
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Review of The Warning  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Sumojo Author Icon ~

Very dark for humor, almost unsettling. For a flash fiction, you do well to create scene, conflict, resolution while giving character attributes through dialogue from a clinical psychologist/therapist with counsel to long-time agoraphobic. Again, written in 24 hours, with some minor punctuation miscues, it does functionally tell its story in under 300 words.

Looking at your item as inspiration produced from activity or exercise, the imagination is what one sees getting flexed here. For a reader of the fare, it’s obvious research or further knowledge could help this. If it were written as short filler, with enough attention to detail, I’m certain dark humor could be spun, if something like irony were added somehow.

If you were to rewrite, expand, I could suggest some things to try. (Or, just to consider to help layer your next write.) First, maybe Frank needs an actual irrational fear. Quite simply…dogs. A greyhound bus would seal that fate, as he has irrationally deduced or got a sign from the gods above. Any bus line with a moniker to symbolize with resultant fear will do, universal enough for readers to infer. You could give Frank a vision that obliquely describes bus with strange bus-like depictions (reaching here) like a metal dog with glass eyes, or chariot dog with fire in back, dog on rubber wheels, or a man piloting a forty-foot cur, etc.

Second, getting an agoraphobic this far out of the house on one call, especially at three years, is a bit of a sell to suspend a reader’s disbelief. I’d have to be sold on a nearing breakthrough. I discussed this with my wife while reviewing. We agree everything is in place but needs a little more or slightly different backstory to start. Like, “we’ve been making good progress (as to irritational trigger). Today, let’s try to just get a foot out the door.” Dialogue could be ‘you’ve never even seen (irrational fear symbol) outside’? Nope. Doc convinces him this much, and with diminishing hesitation, miraculously they’re celebrating…’I’m doing it’! Forgets fear, forgets traffic…and the same end.

You need more time on the above moment to slow pace, drag out a little longer. As flash fiction, there are edit opportunities to gain space to fill, like quick backstory summary (omniscient narrator), lose first call handler, just doc getting online. You could even begin mid session ‘so are we ready to do this?’ hooking reader from get-go. Then backfill (bring reader up to date), while it plays out to slow action with Frank’s hesitancy., and you might have additional space to end, unless making longer, like to further humor. Bounced a few thoughts off spouse and best I could come up with in five minutes is additional conversation with new person at end with doc to deliver extra humor. For instance: Doc is reeling from revelation, when the informant asks ‘who this is’? ‘Oh, I’m Frank’s doctor. I specialize in agoraphobics’. ‘Really? Huh, I guess that makes you really good at your job, or just bad’. And, if further…Pause…’Hey, my step-mom hasn’t been leaving the house. Suppose I could get your number/referral’?

Reaching, but you get the idea. Use any or all or none. Review has been fun to share with your story building process. Pace is important. He had hand on door, then outside, then gate in 10 seconds. If slowed, mid-story launch/hook, a foot out the door at first? Dialogue helps craft characters through manner of speech, but maybe framework intel enough to give fuller appreciation of scene in this context. Omniscient voice can describe just by tonality, but also character motives. I would need more of scene through that dialogue, if no omniscient eyes on this.

Overall, you did well. You’re braver than me. I can’t write to those particular prompts in a day, limited by imagination and personal experiences without those external influences like prompts with cues of constraint. A pleasure and obligation to review your short fiction.

Looking forward to more,

Brian Is…

WDC disAbility Writer’s Group
and I Write In 2025 Reviewer

I’m blind, not disabled.



My eyeballs are about to go offline…dry.


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20
20
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Anniversary Reviews email siggie


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer BreakOpen in new Window.*CakeP*
Celebrating your writing this month with a review.


Happy Account Anniversary The Ink Maiden~ Author Icon ~

I caught a glimpse at the poem "Beautiful Differences Open in new Window. among what few offerings of constructed words you share, and this compels me, but less from the secular presence imposed, but what the narrator draws as visions when disconnected from God, with observations all attributed to Him.

It’s tricky to wade through something described as genres Personal, Nature, Religious (in that order) where you present a poem that connects spirituality through sensory and visionary devices. Ultimately, as with developing prayer, we note observation of thankfulness for what most ordinarily take for granted. This accounting in your poem shows awe of nature and how it inspires foremost. It might suggest connection on a higher plain from life circumstance that many felt with being saved in some manner. God is in the works, but here his mention and capitalism of ‘Your’ (for me) do detract from what you describe or feel, thus, the Personal, Nature genres before owing this reverence to God. (Style book preference is lowercase for all personal pronouns, but this the personal choice to honor God, to show reverence. Stylebook says if done consistently, that matters most.)

The poem opens in address, and in this missive is a great framework for narrative to witness with the transcribed one-way transmission of thanks. Beyond that point, the poet seems to take God on a journey…a sort of, See? See what you made? And, it goes further to show us through Him, what that allows the speaker to feel…provided for, peace and safety from oppression. Many readers can draw their own connections, as with prayer, are minds can meditate, take journey to what’s in our hearts.

Because it is a short poem, the address reads heavily, and less attribution would help with focal,points,context, message. The summation, however, does not address when signing off. Perhaps, redistributing address here would help the reader. I know this is older. Few consider edit. Just a talking point. Definitely, giving more to the sparkling imagery can allows us to pay more attention, help put a reader in that scene, recall spirituality, visualize, and make connections with our own appreciation.

The summation in that final line is beautifully crafted and still shows reverence without additional attribution. It reads clean and serene and as an overall tone or mood for this offering speaks loudest to me. God is in the works of that line with subtlety, which is more impressive and impactful. Maybe, I could try…maybe show. Since prayer can come naturally for those who’ve immersed in it…

Lord, we thank you for this poem you have blessed and the writer who shares their devotion for you with a well-stated connection to nature and the living. The poem makes one aware of your presence, where you’ve designed and maintain the most wondrous artifice — earth, and our dwellings upon it. We have sinned against you daily, knowing your kindness and benevolence for forgiveness, bestowed on those who share your message. We are but human, from the fallen, ever striving to be like Him. These words the poet shares in a writer’s village as a token of appreciation can inspired others like me. I do not crave possession, nor dominion in this realm, but share a love of writing and reviewing, having learned by the guidance of others who intone your teachings. My wish is to further share joy and love of words, moving past my own visual limitations that cause frustration and doubt.

Be with those who can’t be with us, including those I’ve prayed for. No domain is ever as great as your kingdom. Care now for many I’ve known, including those who can’t join with me. It has been your will and I’m sorry for my failings, foremost to you. I pray the world heals from all violence, bloodshed, and wrongdoing that cause darker times. I pray for peace and harmony with struggles of Christianity at the core. I appreciate all you make possible, God, to grow these wings as writers, by faith and steadfastness spreading your word in the face of ignorance, foe, downtrodden and the complacent or absent, and many others who could yet know you.

In your name, we pray, Amen.


Your poetic offerings, either designed as adoration with thanks, or a gift for fellow writers, hits the mark, more than decidedly. Thanks for letting us get a glimpse, and praise this ability to lend feedback that others might know of the encouraging words out there. I take a cue from your poem to give myself even better context of my life arrangement, how I share and where I can nurture myself to be stronger, as yet meek, proponent of all the teachings ascribed since a childhood, thanks to s strong parent. Each day, I feel a little closer to peace, as days dwindle. I’d rather be about it than speak about, feeling safe sharing my words here.

All of this, inspired by words you crafted and hopefully will be found by others through shared appreciation of nature, romanticism, and by whatever faith chosen that allow eyes, as mine, to hopefully see those in need, help them know I am welcoming


God bless,

Brian
disAbility Writer’s Group
and Account Anniversary Reviewer

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Not a crusader but defender of faith, and however that presents whenever misunderstanding or inability to openly communicate are in doubt.



“…(B)eautiful and dying and yet still trying to be free.”

From “Cyclical” —no link as yet available. It’s about preserverance and devotion.


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21
21
Review of Conflict  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
A review for the conflicted and the afflicted.

Dear John Quarles Author Icon,

I missed sending this review during your first account anniversary here last month.

Your sub-text of Conflict is evocative and provokes a reader to consider. I revisit this and my review, lacking time to give true introspect. This title line offers framework for the subject/theme of something of an enduring debate, “A conflict of the mind, between empathy and apathy.” My 2 cents, right off, is the sincerity factor. What feelings seem innate, against how much is conforming to elemental narratives that surround with support, negativity or silence? People are conditioned to give false empathy that passes off as pity, because they couldn’t possibly comprehend or be in any other shoes than their own. I commend you for tackling a worthy subject while mire in its folklore tar that becomes difficult to separate from.i tried a Br’er Rabbit thing there.

The title of your item offered for review, gave me all notions of ideas about how this subject reveals. Having consumed, and seeing this as a conversation with oneself, I first thought of a mirror. This could lead to titles like mirrored thoughts? It could also take your title ‘conflict’ and project it further. I was thinking of it including in parentheses with the word ‘inner’ that could lead into conflict.

Truly, the conflict doesn’t reveal as much as these revelations that seem to wind up repeatedly. I would also imagine these discussions with oneself become more enlightened as time goes on. With the enlightenment, there comes more confusion rather than answer. There seems to be a call to action and that is for empathy to fill the void in the emptiness that might be described as conflict with life or the world and all people who don’t ascribe in it.

Another way might be to feel motherless. Who else can show empathy than one who sprang from her loin. It might be a misconception to believe all mothers have empathy. As a child we have seen it employed, even projected outward toward others. Someone might have a mother like my own, who was a friend to everybody. She would go out of her way to make sure that I was happy. But I was also ignorant as a child. I did not view life with the correct lens. I see her love more like sympathy or pit now, which had confused me about how love operates.

A person becoming an adult, without that proper lens, might seem a little strange to others without proper correction. And if a person has an undiagnosed mental disorder because mother could not see the need to get said child help, you have a person who can be a problem for society. However, where empathy lacked, empathy I feel can be learned. Living through ignorance, hate and pity, I started to connect with others with familiar emotions demonstrated. It makes one want to give of themselves to the whole, selfishly feeling it will heal oneself…but only with the correct lens.

In society, unwritten rules and unknowable authority further confuse one with empathy to share. So these ponderings I’ve read come to me as lived emotions, and got this initially just from a titleline. This is my fourth attempt with edits to end review. The reason why this is going to be long, is low vision, poor editing tools, impatience. This community while making an effort to improve its appearance, has font that is too small for this reviewer. And, as I am challenged while encouraged to review properly, make use of a thing called review tool, for upgraded account, words store until ready to tackle again. This is not my best.

After reading your item, shaped like poetry meeting dialogue, with much pacing, a strange question came to me… “can a person feel empathy for themselves?“ Self-love is more important than serving the needs of others. How would one be strong enough to help another, if not strong themself? I liken this piece of yours to a person talking to the mirror, asking the routine questions about indifference and the lack of empathy. I know it doesn’t require sympathy or pity, which are the common applicators. It is forthright and very revealing, and does not mask anything as a notion of something one way or the other. It’s almost as if it’s affirmations with an ending that doesn’t fit the entire conversation. And yet it does, because it will continue the following day with similar revelations, or the same feelings, emerging about how one still finds themselves alone, but still wanting the betterment of apathetic society.

What you write typifies a person who commonly arrives at a social interaction where they can leave comment, receive none and after 11 months have not posted since joining. This is not ironic at all. It is just the norm for where we reside. Waves of people like ourselves wash on the WDC shore, seek refuge in divulging feelings through words. Finding angels once upon a time. Try to find a way to be a contributor to said community. And think that you’re going to get ahead with writing endeavors, all the time ignoring the mirror. The mirror comes in forms like others reflecting your thoughts. Many can’t relate, some are false, most don’t care to opine. Most, indeed, lack empathy, but do invoke pity and sympathy.

And this search for mother, quite possibly the only person that can feel empathy for you…Sorry, dad…continues, without a mirror. This item doesn’t get too personal. Not personal enough. Which… is good. You shouldn’t have to give away anything or everything about yourself, publicly, to be a part of society. It took me a long time to learn that I can keep a journal in private. But, it’s long past that and there’s nothing private to journal that I would keep online here. But would, personally, on my computer. So what is the purpose of writing down these feelings that look like a person looking to the mirror to see the only other person that feels empathy? The question, is there an outward projection in society with empathy for others? Do they dare speak? There could be this underlying feeling one feels compelled to be empathetic because of the lack of it and or a need for it. But, I think it’s a need for it, by demonstrating in writing, being sought in this lonely dialogue.

The compulsion to fill in where something valuable is lost seems noble, and you’d think respected. It becomes expectation, as bars rise higher, after offer. It gets one hurt even further. Trust is needed before empathy can be shared. Empathy is reserved for one special. In the end, the empathetic are trapped by their own feelings and all the struggles to empathize when ignorance, indifference or hate might apply. Frankly, most fon’t expect or want it. That’s why self-love is important, saves us with our own empathy.

Thanks for this, helping me consider and improve, hopefully, how I read, deconstruct, learn and share these frank thoughts. I have no compunction about being honest, if I can fully realize what that is while separating what people don’t expect to hear, or need shared.

Sincerely,

Brian
disAbility Writer’s Group Reviewer
I’m blind, not disabled.



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22
22
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Review for a poem that reminds of the importance of self-love, to care for oneself (when mom is not there, a poem exists).

Dear Michelle Author Icon ~

Wow! I have not seen a poem like this before. From the first look I'm drawn in and a bit mesmerized by a structure that looks like art and lovely. I previously reviewed a poem by you and referenced this, which I took further time to give consideration before feedback.

My first actual response: Within "My Child You Are Beautiful" reveals a hidden rhyme scheme that naturally sews up form, keeps the poem evenly paced and easy to read with soft and not harsh sounding rhymes. It's made me consider consonant sounds when offering something to the rhythm of a piece. Here you are encouraging a child to love themself from the inside. It's an assured voice that is touching in what it relates not only to child, but reader.

In one sense, I read a self-soothing mantra, a voice we create to induce calm with a motherly love. Too many times I’m deluded by TV and movies that this whisperer culling the calm is actually a villain. It’s hard to get that image of deceit from my head. Obviously, not the intent here. What makes the narrative voice special is we can self-heal. The poem pace with precision uses even sentences that contribute instruction to let oneself relax, too tense in a waves or layers of comfort.

The purpose of the poem from titleline is straightforward. Makes me think of a good mom, well-intentioned to help a child with body issues. And the other side of the coin is a father’s tough love (not in poem, but a drawn parallel). We learn early our parents have our back, but can’t always be there. We accept life is cruel; we eventually can’t hide from all that awaits, as there is something greater waiting beyond a child world. Self-reliance becomes important.

Mantras like these are important. The words, the rhythms teach us to be our own parents, take care of the child inside. It thwarts a society that knows of our ills, guilt, sins and weaknesses that could be exploited for many reasons, to turn self-perception on ourselves. It goes beyond cruel, as parents fade over time. A child can learn from well-meted phrases of self-comfort to quickly heal over a lifetime, grow a backbone, and stare down any foe that nears.

I like, “every stitch in your body has been perfectly sewn.” It’s emboldening. It could overfeed an ego that is weak, requires a certain kind of compliance to believe, but the expression is meant to lift that boulder burdening one fed negative images of oneself. The poem seems the best vehicle to reconsider in times of loneliness through isolation or lack of integration. This poem salves wounds and begins that process. Another side of this narrative could lie a paternal voice that demonstrates how to exist as Teflon and steel. Stoicism is a valuable asset.

Your poem and these tenets remind, we can be self-reliant. We can self-repair. We can persist in a world that seeks nothing but to enslave us, rather that allow individualism amid the whole. And, we are not the broken, but the ones who cast insults that need our pity in reply. Those are some broken people. Your message does well not to address external but internal factors. It relies on self-perception, as with a self-imagine. I see the inspiration for this, and likely a trait passed down that can continue, generation after generation. Do the tormentors forget or lack the teachings of their mothers when they addle, torment and refuse others, just so they can release frustration and feel better about themselves?

More thoughts I draw from having reading your Psalm to calm, I try to find a voice here to self-soothe.

Child, you know you are beautiful. I see beauty and perfection, as only your parent can. The world has cruel eyes, but it’s also broken. What is not broken, is you. A heart pure, beautiful, wondrous, all the days butterflies sought, scanning the sky for unicorns. You are unique and special. Take your hand; pretend it is mine. Rub the backside of your other hand. Feel it’s tenderness. Slowly, gently apply pressure and massage your skin how I do. Do you feel me there with you now? Do you know who is loving and caring for you? It’s the hand on that hand that gives a clue, as it is you. No one gets between you and yourself. No one tells you who you are, but you. If they deny you, abandon you, let them go. You have you. And, when the world sees you smile. They can’t deny it. Because you are for you. And that is not selfish, bragging or boasting. If you believe in yourself, others will believe, too. Spread this message of love, but guard it carefully. It is only what I give that you can give to you.

Parents can rock! Thank you for the reminder, demonstrating so I can also find words to self-soothe.

All the best,

Brian.
WDC disAbility Writer’s Group Reviewer.

I’m blind, not disabled.

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23
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Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Michelle Author Icon

OMG, my heart as I was reading down that road, knowing the last word because of the word it would have to rhyme with. It had two directions to go as it started out but it became obvious near middle to end, this was not about giving up a child or having it taken away. I was moved by such a sad yet touching poem that I could feel something very personal and difficult to share in that speaker's use of language...in a poem that is fully developed with emotion, sense of loss, inability to have that true connection to the adored one with affection.

I've heard it said that a heart that is broken is unfortunate, but what's beautiful is it holds together with the love we lose but still hold onto. Perhaps, we romanticize or imagine a future from past with the fictional. Often we consider them with angels, or as our angels but cared for. All of this comes to mind when I note this read. It's short, with long lines that could bend or break another way, but what's holding it together is the rhythm of the read, the word that plays off of another to drive that second point. A rhyme scheme that could fully hold together but have some ideas of ways that can be repaired, though it is up to the author and the visionary who truly knows what should be said. I can only interpret from my perspective what I learned from this poem. And did I the previous poem of yours I visually and auditoralially consumed.

A pleasure to consider your offerings that I might lend feedback.

Sincerely,

Brian.
disAbility Writer’s Group Reviewer

I’m blind, not disabled.



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Review of Joyful Butterfly  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dear Jo Paynter Author Icon

Surprise ending with this one and not sure if it applies or if it could be introduced with foreboding to give a reader a framework for this marvelous, imagery filled story that really comes to life with some great word choices to illuminate a reader's imagination.

"Joyful Butterfly," singular, seems to be about the speaker who perhaps feels as one, possibly going through a transformative process and the spectrum of yellow butterflies happily going about their business in that neck of the woods is something that inspires the narrative.

If it is some kind of sign one looks for, it is assured rare and beautiful. It is serendipity, but also treated as sign to symbolize something that anyone can relate to, but about what? We can attribute our own experiences and feelings of awe for nature. We know the days of no luck getting that prize fish, or whatever we angle for. It's an unexpected gift that means so much more, reaching deep into the psyche at one's existentialism.

A pleasure to come across someone new with poetry to share.

Sincerely,

Brian
disability Writer’s Group Reviewer

God tells me where to look, and lo and behold a new writer with such great gifts!
I'm looking forward to more in the future.

I’m blind, not disabled.



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25
25
Review of My Thoughts  Open in new Window.
Review by Brian K Compton Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with disABILITY WRITERS GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Dear Sumojo Author Icon ~

Some powerful imagery that connect to emotions related to social interactions with intrusive questions. It strikes as a very important issue in a world ever prying to get at something that goes beyond a casual encounter. This, may be the latter. But, I’ll project to show parallels found to a pathology of modern day intrusion.

What I’m noting is how you notate opening interrogatory and the following response. You start with the bold black font to open, it’s implies bad or menacing, a very overpowering influence that may be seeking compliance. The response, like a Buffalo Stance, isn’t giving in. But, you speaker is contemplating, noting ‘despise’, making me if they know each other. It doesn’t feel threatening in a physical sense, lacking supporting images. This helps shift to the ever-present psychology behind invasion of one’s privacy.

It feels compelling forces know they can work one over that might have a tell, an area of weakness. Maybe, just by bullying, more artlessly, getting at what they’re thinking. How you demonstrate this open line, to be stoic, yet as reader, feel the shift to finally open up as a result of coercion. To better demonstrate, some imagery that adds to the interrogatory persistence might help a reader feel and relate to a feeling of a persisting burden.

The respondents redirect of eyes to sky shows a veiled weakness. But, the hesitation to respond and consider, before offering a reply that lends nothing to the party of the first part, shows intelligence and patience. But, when these sorts who meddle with others assert, if they’re working an angle, fishing for something, they won’t quit, especially the narcissists.

So, while this could be just an intimate relationship, the overall message feels like intrusion on privacy in a surveillance state. We slowly lose freedoms, like privacy, identity to thieves, or basic freedoms that should be guaranteed. It’s not like any restraining order will be forthcoming, the way I read. This is essentially need to keep one’s sanity.

Your unusual poem goes right back to some very telling inner thoughts. It’s showing mental torture from predators allowed to prey with seemingly innocent questions. In this scenario, it seems tone of the interrogator’s voice is enough to feel intimidation, as yet without physical depiction. This is a psychological and social commentary that need be heard, might be intoned, if people are listening or watching communications.

The inner dialogue represented here is a person made to feel prisoner in their own mind. They know the presence and this intrusion are leading somewhere. This can be handled with the expression, “I feel unsafe.” This appears one-on-one, but seems a systemic issue where most who pry all play from the same narcissist handbook. It’s actually very simple, making these sorts seem pathetic.

Narcissism calls the shots, controls narratives, squeezes you when you try to escape, plays rope-a-dope when one fights back. Everything intimated vaguely they try to get one to infer. That’s where their narrative can apply. Many in society are lambs being lead to some slaughter. I feel a lamb that is trying to be defiant, knows what’s at stake. However, having no game to outwit, that a lamb can’t outlast these basic bullies. They don’t have the fortitude of those nosy busybodies.

This is a scenario where anything you give, even if silence, is connotated as something. The impossible is getting them to relent, admit another’s narrative, nor will allow defeat. They are the writers of false gossip, idles lies, that further the struggles of one cut off, isolated, made to feel alone. In comes the gaslighting. It’s very telling from this introspect you’ve portrayed.

They have a way of reading body language, aversion to assemble notions of fears and weaknesses that a lamb can be trapped by. Society is devolving into dehumanization, becoming wolves, destroying the fabric of community, the mantle of trusted friendship. And, what I see here is someone talking themself into non-compliance, but then, ta-da! We get the ending.

You intrigue with, “You wouldn’t want to know.” I could feel a table turn. Just to end on that, give a reader pause, I wonder if the inquisitive one is stalled, too.

Truly, physically, only the speaker of this poem demonstrates. The poem itself could reveal, but it’s only inner dialogue shared with reader friends. It shows a kind of safety to get the questioner to infer. They have to ask if some subterfuge with that last comment you’ve offered. Ending on it is the statement. Is it a bluff, is there really something they don’t want to hear? The latter, me thinks.

This can read as a relationship on the rocks. This could be fantasized dialogue undelivered, or there may be work, other interpersonal dealings that produce this. And, but not giving it context, just letting the inner workings air out, many can relate to being preyed upon. Here, I find the speaker now holds the power through the ambiguous. It’s the best you might be able to do in the face of these interferringbtypes.

There’s a lot to unpack from this. It’s very relevant today. It’s so hard to pinpoint or define. The lambs that complain get labeled, told get over it by intermediaries who should know. This is a tactic employed by more every day, outside of home: at work, in a social dynamic or hang out, at a place where something additional is sold from fries to extra insurance. Greed will bleed us dry of not only money, but sanity.

What you composed is universal, is applicable and what many feel as a perversion to interrupt our daily lives with emails, texts and robocalls. The level of noise getting higher inside the minds of the meek, downtrodden and troubled. It was supposed to be reserved for police interrogation, instead teaching people to be evasive, better liars, more deceptive, pass those polygraphs, to get security of mind and identity, to stay calm.

Thus, society is becoming insensitive, less availing, discourteous, negatively impacted by the persistence for information they have no right to compel another to fork over. Unsafe, unsafe I say.

This is a well thought and displayed Imaginary dialogue that has roots in society that extend out and beyond. It’s very compelling to me. Put them on notice. Our personal information is not to be sold to third party types. What if one steals our identity. Safe-guarding can be unknowable, until you test to see who your friends are. It can be assumed it’s none, just for that sanity, leaving us isolated. Blame politics in America, too. We’re divided while our parents fight.

Great job! I tout this. Let’s get back to humanizing and stop defaming people you shouldnt extort. All criminally prosecutable, by the way. And let them know, apologies are accepted without preface, if played right. Stalemate is the best you get, unless…they aren’t the narcissist. *Shock2* *Bigsmile* If nothing else, they might shut up. *Delight*

Nailed it,

Brian
disAbility Writers Group
and I Write in 2025 Reviewer

If any don’t agree, don’t credit this review. I’m for honest, not deceitful, discourse. I’m for human rights and NOT the privileged…or the constant hypocrisy, easily checked, yet none do. Cowards or no one have their back. Cover me. I’m going in! Area is clear. That’s a wrap. *shrug*


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