This piece has a distinct and memorable style. The idea of a partner being 'replaced' without anyone acknowledging it is intriguing and eerie and lends itself to multiple interpretations, such as being a metaphor for emotional distance or a surreal or speculative twist. The replacement concept is compelling, but the narrator never confronts or delves into how or why it happened, which may leave some readers feeling unsatisfied (depending on the intended effect).
The first-person perspective feels raw and confessional without being overwrought, and the narrative is conversational. Small, mundane details such as bedsheets, cutlery, smileys and types of yeast make the emotional shift more tangible and believable. You maintain an unsettling tone by framing the distancing as a literal change of person without providing too much explanation. The “Who wants to be with a guy without bedsheets?” line offsets the sadness with humour and keeps the narrator relatable.
However, you might want to consider the occasional grammatical and word choice errors, which interrupt the flow of the text and make it seem less polished. Some sections read as meandering, revisiting emotional beats without advancing the tension. I sometimes struggled to track when the narrator realises she has been replaced and what happens next. Perhaps this is intentional, but the narrator never uses any gendered self-descriptors before that late self-reference, so for most of the story, the speaker could easily be interpreted as female, non-binary, or simply ungendered
Certain time jumps aren't clearly signalled. Sometimes your tone is surreal and uncanny, and at other times it is purely that of a literal breakup story. Choosing to lean consistently in one direction could heighten the impact. However, it shows that you have a good imagination and a lot of promise. I urge you to write more and look for critique because I’m sure that with time, it will be very good.
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