Review of Vivian montrale by AsHIynN
Hello, AsHIynN. I am robrayl and it's my pleasure to have read your story
My review of your story is as follows:
📋 Relatable or not:
Vivian's voice is raw and haunted, pulling you into her world with every word. The pain feels genuine, not dramatized, and her resilience makes you cheer for her. I really admire the courage and the way she fights to stay true to herself. It's something that stays with you, even after the story ends.
🍀setting and Atmosphere:
The grove has a wonderful atmosphere. The way the twisty trees and gentle hum pull you in makes it feel alive, mysterious, and a little scary. Each chapter adds a quiet heaviness that makes the reader feel the stakes. Still, sometimes a bit clearer detail during the tense moments could really help readers to grasp what's going on.
⚔️ Conflict:
The story is filled with tension. The mix of the grove’s strange pull, Vivian’s troubled past, and the growing supernatural threat makes her struggle feel nearly impossible—but that’s what makes it so engaging. The clash between her own inner world and these larger forces gives real weight to her choices. One suggestion for improvement is to make the stakes even clearer. like Sometimes, diving deeper into the specific choices Vivian faces would strengthen the impact of her battle between free will and the pull of the grove.
🎭 Characters:
Vivian feels like a real person—flawed, layered, and completely compelling. Mason grounds her in a way that feels honest and necessary, and their connection really works. The ghostly girl is creepy in the best way, and Pastor Elias leaves a strong impression. I do think a few of the side characters could use a bit more fleshing out—especially Vivian’s mother. Given how much her childhood trauma shapes the story, it feels like we’re missing a deeper look at her mother’s role in it all. A little more clarity there could really raise the emotional stakes.
📜 Dialogue:
The dialogue really fits the mood—mysterious, tense, sometimes chilling. A lot of the lines feel real and keep the story moving, especially with how consistent Vivian’s voice is. That said, there are a few moments where the dialogue leans a little too much into explanation. It works, but once in a while it pulls you out of the scene just a bit. If those parts were trimmed or made a little snappier, it’d feel even more natural.
Final thoughts
To me, this is a slow-burn psychological horror that really knows what it’s doing. The blend of mystery, trauma, and supernatural elements is creepy in all the right ways. The imagery sticks with readers, and Vivian makes for a strong, compelling lead. Vivian Montrale is tense, unsettling, and honestly hard to look away from. It feels like things are just starting to unravel.
That said, a little more clarity around the bigger stakes and some deeper character development (especially for the side characters) could take it to the next level. There's so much promise here, and it’s already gripping. With just a few tweaks, it could be amazing.
So, that’s it! Keep writing—you’re on a good pace.
Warm Regards,
Robrayl |
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