StephBee's (sgcardin) Reviews

#4834532

Review of A Candid Candy

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

"Anniversary Reviews" is celebrating A QUARTER CENTURY of Writing.Com!

I was popping around your port for something to read and was attracted to this story for it's sense of humor and comedy.

This is a dialogue driven only story about a valentine chalky candy with simple and "sweet" writings on it. Turns out our consumer doesn't take to "Bite Me." and "Kiss my Foot," so he calls to complain on the complaint line and gets a resolution that makes the reader laugh.

The dialogue is spot on and really does a good job telling the story, which can be tough when it's dialogue only. There are nice comedic beats that make the reader chuckle. The ending is spot on and it's where the candy company turns the table on the complainer.

I thought the title was a great fit for the story. This is a light hearted story that will make the reader chuckle.

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The story is presented well using WDC ML.

My suggestion would be, (and honestly this is tough) because the story really works as is, would be to find just a tad more provocative sayings for the candy. That would be challenge. Instead of Kiss My Feet, Maybe Lotion works? Bad suggestions.

Overall, a fun read!

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#1474097 by StephBee

A Queen Bee signature for the Bees at the Bee Hive

2

#4834382

Review of Patsy Cline

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (5.0)

"Anniversary Reviews" is celebrating A QUARTER CENTURY of Writing.Com!

Happy to pop into your port after a bit and I found this gem of a poem.

This poem isn't just about Patsy Cline but how Patsy bridges the gap between mother and daughter and brings them together.

This poem has five 4 line stanzas with an A__A, B__B etc, rythme scheme. What I liked about the rythme scheme is the different pattern you don't see very often.

The poem tells an age old story, a daughter who has nothing in common with her mother, discovers they have a lot in common. I did a search on Patsy's history and found out she had a solid relationship with her own mother.

There's a simmering ache in the poem much in the way there was in Cline's music.

I especially liked:
I played "Crazy" on repeat.
And I finally knew what Mama always did,
And we shared a bond, unspoken.

This is the ending of the poem, and it hits on all the right, poignant emotional notes. Easy expression, but much deeper meaning. Well done!

My only suggestion, and this is tough because, honestly, the poem touches on all the right notes -maybe post the lyrics to Crazy in a dropnote or a small biography on Patsy in a dropnote for those who might not be familiar with her.

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#1474097 by StephBee

3

#4834365

Review of Happy Birthday WDC

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE WORD SEARCH

A fun word search all about Writing.com in honor of it's 25th birthday.

WHAT I LIKED

I always enjoy doing a word search with a birthday theme. It puts me in a good mood.

ENGAGING

The word search was very engaging. Some words were easy to find, some were more challenging. I was on the hunt for all the words. I'd put the difficulty of the puzzle around medium.

VARIETY

There were a lot of choices that summed up the unique experiences one has here on WDC.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic in the introduction to set the birthday vibe for the puzzle, if doable. A very fun and entertaining puzzle!

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama-Happy 25th!

4

#4834141

Review of A Traffic Jam

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (5.0)

"Anniversary Reviews" is celebrating A QUARTER CENTURY of Writing.Com!

I picked your poem to review because the title struck me as an unique challenge - a traffic jam. You don't see that too much.

The poem is about the ebb and flow of a traffic, how it speeds up and slows down and frustrates the heck out of drivers. It is written for a prompt and it does a great job interpreting the prompt.

This is a free form poem with no rythme scheme and I really liked how the poem was presented. The punctuation was spot on and mirrored an accordion effect such as a traffic jam is likely to do.

I especially this passage:
Everyone seems to settle in their places.
Resigned to the inevitable, escape is blocked.
The only way is forward.

Because ultimately, that's what happens in a traffic jam. After the initial slow down and the rush of frustration, there's coping skills coming into play and finally acceptance and settling into inching pace until it clears.

My suggestion, well, it's tough. I suppose you could add more content - small prius versus a big truck scenario, but I don't know if it really needs it. If anything, and this is more toward presentation, maybe increase the font to make it easier to read here on WDC.

Overall, this is a nice, expressive poem about the rhythm of a traffic jam. It captures what happens succinctly and takes the reader through the emotional journey of a jam.

A Bee Hive April Anniversary Review

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#1474097 by StephBee

5

#4834139

Review of Passing through the seasons

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (5.0)

"Anniversary Reviews" is celebrating A QUARTER CENTURY of Writing.Com!

I picked your poem to review because I like the seasons and I like poetry that incorporates the seasons into its themes.

The poem is a free form about the progressions of seasons through time, but also about the progression of the seasons of life. The poet does a nice job tying the themes together.

There does appear to be rythmes, but there isn't a set pattern.

I especially this passage:
Just as the world around us
the seasons must go through
you and I are quickly changing
and have our seasons too.

It's a solid transition from nature's seasons to the seasons of life that has a nice even ebb and flow.

My suggestion would be to separate the poem into more visual stanzas. It might help to establish a more rhythmic beat as the reader reads the poem out loud.

Overall, there's a lot of heartfelt expression and subtle emotion that makes this poem resonate on a personal level. Well done.

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#1474097 by StephBee

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#4834138

Review of Blue

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

"Anniversary Reviews" is celebrating A QUARTER CENTURY of Writing.Com!

I'm popping into your port for an anniversary review and I saw this nonet poem and wanted to check it out. Nonet style poetry is new to me so I wanted to see what it was about and what you did with it.

The poem was about the color and how it was splashed across the world. I liked how the poem connected the color blue with nature and grew that across the globe. Well done.

A description of a nonet was a note in the poem which was nice and I learned it was 9 line poem, the first line starting with 9 syllables and then decreasing to one. Well done.

I especially liked these descriptive lines:
Scattered hues all through nature
Butterflies and bluebirds

It gave me a nice visual of nature and for me, seeing nature in it's raw environment is always uplifting.

Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it blue. It was a nice compliment to the poem.

The title and use of the video to compliment the poem were perfect accoutrements. This poem does a great job highlighting a different style of poetry. Nice expression.

My suggestion would be maybe to use punctuation to establish a rhythm or a beat, but honestly, I enjoy the poem as is.

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#4834112

Review of He, Lonely Mountain

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem was about a mountain and power behind it.

WHAT I LIKED

I thought this was a very visual description of a mountain using a good economy of words to evoke a majestic feeling.

STRUCTURE

This is a diamante poem. The rules involve having 7 seven lines, first and last line, just one word which is a noun, 2nd and 6th lines, 2 words which are adjectives, 3rd and 5th lines have 3 words which are verbs, 4th line has 4 words - nouns. Diamantes don't have to play hard by the rules, but they should take the shape of a diamond.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

DESCRIPTIONS

The words used to visually describe the mountain were spot on. The ending word, "Solitude" did a lot to describe the feelings a mountain evokes. It stands high and tall, by itself, and even if a hiker is on the mountain, the mountain is so vast it offers a feeling of solitude.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening sets the stage for what to expect from the poem. The title fit the topic of the poem. I enjoyed taking a look at nature through the mountain's perspective. Very nice expression. The poem followed the prompt and used one of the following words: mountain, beach, or forest. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Glowing Steph

8

#4834111

Review of Mountain

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem was about climbing a mountain.

WHAT I LIKED

The poem had a lot of great visuals, and put the reader in the mood to climb a mountain.

STRUCTURE

This is a diamante poem. The rules involve having 7 seven lines, first and last line, just one word which is a noun, 2nd and 6th lines, 2 words which are adjectives, 3rd and 5th lines have 3 words which are verbs, 4th line has 4 words - nouns. Diamantes don't have to play hard by the rules, but they should take the shape of a diamond.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. I liked the use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it easier to read on the eyes.

DESCRIPTIONS

The descriptions evoke the things you would do and use when climbing a mountain. The poet did a good job building the theme for the poem.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening sets the vibe to expect something having to do with a mountain. I enjoyed the active approach to the poem and could easily visually a climber on a mountain leaning into the thrill of observing the world around him or her. The poem followed the prompt and used one of the following words: mountain, beach, or forest. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Glowing Steph

9

#4834110

Review of Habitats

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem is about the inner city forest.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the author took the concept of a traditional forest, one we think of with trees and hiking paths and turned it on it's head as a city forest.

STRUCTURE

This is a diamante poem. The rules involve having 7 seven lines, first and last line, just one word which is a noun, 2nd and 6th lines, 2 words which are adjectives, 3rd and 5th lines have 3 words which are verbs, 4th line has 4 words - nouns. Diamantes don't have to play hard by the rules, but they should take the shape of a diamond.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it easier to read on WDC.

DESCRIPTIONS

The poem starts out with forest and the reader is thinking is green, but then the descriptions go a bit "darker" building out the city forest description.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening sets a broad visual for what to expect from the poem. I enjoyed the different approach to the poem. The words used in the description also do a job evoking emotion, and I got the emotional "ick" vibe as a reader. The poem followed the prompt and used one of the following words: mountain, beach, or forest. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Glowing Steph

10

#4834109

Review of Bard's Hall - August

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem was about the things you'd find and the way of life on a mountain.

WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the visual imagery of the poem. The verbs used were very dynamic and appropriate for what you would expect from a mountain.

STRUCTURE

This is a diamante poem. The rules involve having 7 seven lines, first and last line, just one word which is a noun, 2nd and 6th lines, 2 words which are adjectives, 3rd and 5th lines have 3 words which are verbs, 4th line has 4 words - nouns. Diamantes don't have to play hard by the rules, but they should take the shape of a diamond.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

DESCRIPTIONS

The words used gave a good depiction of a mountain life - snowcaps, cracking, falling, deep, and silent.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening word sets the stage for what to expect from the poem. I enjoyed the more dangerous aspect of mountain life. Good, raw visuals. The poem did not have the prompt word used in the poem, but in the title. Prompt words were: mountain, beach, or forest. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Glowing Steph

11

#4833985

Review of Gen Z: Freelancing in Tech Times

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

This prose article talks about Gen Z using AI as tool in today's modern world. I thought the article talked about a lot of issues that need to be reconciled when it comes to using AI, especially in the writing world. Where does using AI cross the line? Is using AI as a research tool, grammar checking tool, and editing tool acceptable? Is using AI to write an article acceptable? When does human creativity lose itself to AI?

These are all great questions that the author grabbles with it. I thought the article was concise, to the point, and discussed issues that were relevant in today's writing world. While are there appear to benefits to AI usage in writing, when does it cross the line?

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The topics introduced here would be good ones for an ethics class.

Honest and thought provoking.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama-Happy 25th!

12

#4833977

Review of Judge not lest ...

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE STORY

Bart thinks he's won a food package that he's going to critique, but there's always a down side to free stuff...

WHAT I LIKED

When Bart ate the caviar. He never knew what hit him.

DIALOGUE

This is written for the Dialogue 500 contest so dialogue drives the story. The story is told over a telephone conversation which was interesting.

OPENING PARAGRAPH

The opening paragraph doesn't really grab me, but it's interesting enough. I suppose that's the challenge of dialogue only, isn't it?

CHARACTERS

Sounds like Bart was a bit a @$$ back in the day and what goes around comes around. I don't think he knew what hit him.

FLOW & PACING

The beginning kind of gets off slow, but it picks up in the middle and the ending nails it. Overall, a good compact story in 500 words or less.

MECHANICS

I did not notice and spelling/punctuation mistakes. My only suggestion here, and it's minor and a matter of style - maybe increase the font a little to make it easier on the eyes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

The title hints at what is to come. The story story subtle builds suspense and then hits the reader like a freight train with the ending. And the ending proved to be a nail biter. A quickie that packs an extended ending of creepiness.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama-Happy 25th!

13

#4833953

Review of Earn the Badge Celebrates

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE WORD SEARCH

A WDC Birthday word search

WHAT I LIKED

This word search was very unique to WDC and it's celebration due to the word choices.

ENGAGING

The puzzle was a lot of fun. I'd put the difficulty around easy-med to med. The word search was compact and the words used put the puzzle taker in a great mood.

VARIETY

There were a good variety of words that captured the celebratory theme of the puzzle.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic or a birthday cake giphy in the introduction to set the tone for the puzzle, if doable. If you like word searches, you'll enjoy this one! It's upbeat and uplifting.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama-Happy 25th!

14

#4833568

Review of A Poetic Word Search

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE WORD SEARCH

A word search about different forms of poetry.

WHAT I LIKED

There were a lot of different forms of poetry! I was familiar with most of them, but there were a couple of them that I was hearing about for the first time. In that regard, I thought the puzzle was also very informative and educational.

ENGAGING

I was very engaged and I wanted to find the next word. There was a good word choice that piqued my interest. I would the difficulty of the search at about medium.

VARIETY

There were a lot different forms of poetry which offered a nice variety and compliment to the puzzle.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

PARTING THOUGHTS

I might suggest using a graphic or giphy in the introduction to set the tone for the puzzle and jazz up the excitement for the puzzle taker. Overall, this was a fun word search with a writing orientated theme.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama-Happy 25th!

15

#4833560

Review of Casper, The Friendly Cat

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (4.5)

"Anniversary Reviews" is celebrating A QUARTER CENTURY of Writing.Com!

What drew me to this story was the theme - cats. I'm a cat lover myself. I firmly believe our pets are in our lives to teach us lessons and so I wanted to find out what lesson Casper was working on.

This is a very concise written story. It's direct and to the point, but there enough personalization that lets us know what makes Cazzie so special.

Casper aka Cazzie is a bit of fat cat, literally, who gets injured and it goes unnoticed. In a quick turn of events, Cazzie, a friendly cat with a lot of positive personality, needs treatment. As he goes through the treatment, he takes in stride and this is where the lesson comes in. The last sentence of the story sums it up: He is teaching us by example not only how to enjoy each and every day but also how to face life’s challenges when they arise.

I really liked the ending because it left the reader on a positive note with hope for Cazzie that he would make it through. The story is very inspirational and written in warm tones.

My only suggestion would be maybe to add an addendum with an update as to Cazzie cat since this piece was written in 2009. Oh, on a bit of technical note, I might increase the font to make it easier to read on WDC. This story is a great example of how much our pets are a part of our family.

An Angel Army March Anniversary Review

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama-Happy 25th!

16

#4833556

Review of Should've Stayed in Bed

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

"Anniversary Reviews" is celebrating A QUARTER CENTURY of Writing.Com!

I saw this title and I knew I had to check it out. We've all had those days were we should have stayed in bed!

This is a light-hearted comedic poem about life events gone wrong in such a way you either laugh or cry and just ride out the day and start fresh tomorrow.

I liked the humor and human connection in the poem.

This is a free form poem with six 4 line stanza and a _A_A rythme scheme. There is enough of rhythm to catch the beat.

I especially loved this descriptive verse:

Run to the store for a minute,
Painting cans left close to the door.
I return to find she's painted
White paws all over the floor.

This is something we can relate to. You do an errand, think you have your bases covered and you come home to find out your dog has been up to mischief! It's a great visual and the reader lets out a collective emotional sigh when their done reading it.

The title is spot on and a good lure to draw a potential reader in.

My only suggestion would be to even out the rythme scheme maybe a ABAB CDCD to even it out and make they rhythmic beat a little bit more solid. Overall, a fun read. I'm glad I found it!

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama-Happy 25th!

17

#4833322

Review of As I Wander'd Lone through Nature

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

"Anniversary Reviews" is celebrating A QUARTER CENTURY of Writing.Com!

The title piqued my interest, but it was the description that lured me in with it's promise of "Walk Whitman-esque" style poetry.

I can most certainly feel the influence of Whitman, the rhythmic beat, the free form style, the punctuation, the depiction of Americana, the naturalistic approach to the poem.

I liked taking the journey through America, and I especially liked this description: "I admir’d the raw power of the Mississippi, glistening in the sunset,"

I visualized a massive river, the water rolling with the sunset reflecting off the gentle waves. That's nature - pure, live, and raw.

I also liked the reference links at the bottom to Whitman's poetry.

My only suggestion, and this is minor, is to include a depiction of the southwest and the desert environment of Arizona as reference perhaps because it is such a vital part of the American landscape.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama-Happy 25th!

18

#4833313

Review of Thank You Writing.Com

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E

| (5.0)

"Anniversary Reviews" is celebrating A QUARTER CENTURY of Writing.Com!

I popped into your port looking for a unique item to review and I found it in your letter. I am also thankful to Writing.com as I believe it has helped me grow for a writer.

I liked how the letter starts out with a framed picture of the author and when they joined. March of 2001 was very early in the website's history and I saw the author was last active in April of 2025 so that's a great achievement!

There have been many changes to WDC over the years and I think we're slow to pick it up or we soak it up like a sponge. Take merit badges - I'm sure they've changed and grew over the years, especially when it was opened up to Groups.

What touched me the most was the heartfelt appreciation and gratitude the author had for finding this website and growing as author, and even though the years march on and we come and we go because of our schedules, WDC is always here for us.

Good use of WDC ML on the font to make it easier on the eyes. I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

My only suggestion would be to update the letter from time to time to let us know where the author is with the changes in her life and how she's grown as well.

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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama-Happy 25th!

19

#4833312

Review of Can a Forest Be Barren?

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem was about diverse climates.

WHAT I LIKED

The poem progressed from a forest to a desert and in a way it reminded me of Southern California. When the boys were little, we took them to Mountain High to go snow tubing. It was a very woodsy (and snowy) environment, but on the top of the mountain, we could look down and see the dry desert.

STRUCTURE

This is a diamante poem. The rules involve having 7 seven lines, first and last line, just one word which is a noun, 2nd and 6th lines, 2 words which are adjectives, 3rd and 5th lines have 3 words which are verbs, 4th line has 4 words - nouns. Diamantes don't have to play hard by the rules, but they should take the shape of a diamond.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make the poem easy to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked how the descriptions were used - we have rustic, living, and thriving for a forest and wasteland, rotting, barren for the desert. The changing of the words/descriptions, almost reminds of how summer changes into a fall or fall into winter.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title sets the stage for what to expect from the poem. The poem gives the reader pause to think a little bit - about changes in the world. The poem followed the prompt and used one of the following words: mountain, beach, or forest. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Glowing Steph

20

#4833310

Review of A Mutual Relationship

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Bard's Hall Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem describes the attributes of a mountain.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the attributes connected to human nature. We can be wondering, discovering, and transformed. And sometimes when we want to get away and visit that mountain, what we discover in the winds, wildlife, granite and gravity is ourselves.

STRUCTURE

This is a diamante poem. The rules involve having 7 seven lines, first and last line, just one word which is a noun, 2nd and 6th lines, 2 words which are adjectives, 3rd and 5th lines have 3 words which are verbs, 4th line has 4 words - nouns. Diamantes don't have to play hard by the rules, but they should take the shape of a diamond.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes.

DESCRIPTIONS

I think the poet uses a good selection of words that describe what we find on a mountain and what that mountain spirit has in common with the human spirit.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The title sets the stage for what to expect from the poem - that mutual relationship between man and mountain. Well done. I enjoyed the naturalist approach to the poem. Nice expression! The poem followed the prompt and used one of the following words: mountain, beach, or forest. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Glowing Steph

21

#4832998

Review of The Beatles, Abba Music Journal, Stories

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)

A 25th WDC Anniversary review for:

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It's WDC- 25th Birthday

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7 day Challenge to celebrate 25 years of this successful writer's haven.
#2343390 by Witchy Woman

I came to your port to find something to review and happened upon your blog. I was/still am a BIG Beatles fan growing up and I also liked listening to ABBA so when I saw this blog, I just had to review to it!

What I liked right away was the introduction. It was a simple, no frill, no muss introduction to the blog with plenty of pictures. George was my favorite Beatle and I love the picture of him and Patty.

I liked how organized the entries were, with the most recent one on top. The blog looks active and has a lot of entries. I especially liked the entry that listed all the favorite Beatles songs. It's really hard to pick a #1 favorite. What I also liked is how this blog ties in music and writing. It's lighthearted and it's a lot of fun.

I loved seeing the Beatles merit badges.

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22

#4832875

Review of Waves

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

"Anniversary Reviews" is celebrating A QUARTER CENTURY of Writing.Com!

I picked this poem because of the title. The more immediate connotation of waves is water on a beach, but this poem deal with waves one feels when slammed with heavy emotion.

The poem does a wonderful job of painting the visual of waves slamming onto a beach and using that a metaphor for emotional grief. Waves of heartache and grief pummel the poet. The poem tugs at the heartstrings and connects well.

This is a free form poem that takes place in eight lines.

The poem captures raw emotional depth with the rush of a riptide.

My suggestion would be, and mind you this is minor, is maybe to pause in the middle of the poem so the reader can take a breath before diving in to finish the rest of the poem.

An Angel Army March Anniversary Review

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(ASR)
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#1188311 by iKïyå§ama-Happy 25th!

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#4832867

Review of Russia's Unkown Heroes

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (4.5)

"Anniversary Reviews" is celebrating A QUARTER CENTURY of Writing.Com!

I picked this article because I'm interested in history and I'm interested in Russian history. When I was 17, I took a Russian History class in my senior of high school. That was 1985. I have been interested in Russia and it's history ever since.

This article tells the story of two occasions when Soviet military personal could have made a decision to launch nuclear missiles. The stories are concise and to the point, but paint a dire picture and scenarios where launching nuclear missiles would have been justified. In both scenarios, cooler heads prevailed. I enjoyed reading this article and learning about these stories concerning Russian history.

I was not aware of either of these stories so you can bet I'll be researching on my own. Good call to list the references for the article.

My only suggestion would be add to bit more emotional depth to the officers who had to make the decision. Tell something personal about them. I don't need to know an indepth history, but just a little something more. Were they historians? How did they get selected for their jobs? Why were they trusted to these positions? As a reader and historian, I'm very curious about Petrov and Arkhipov. Overall, this was a very informative and educational article and I'm glad to find it.

A Bee Hive February Anniversary Review

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#1474097 by StephBee

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#4832762

Review of Vanishing act

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with Steph Bee's Bee Hive

Rated: E

| (5.0)

"Anniversary Reviews" is celebrating A QUARTER CENTURY of Writing.Com!

The title was intriguing so I picked this story to review. It's always a challenge to tell a good, solid story in 300 word so well done. In this story, two kids, Hani and Bingi go exploring, loose track of time and get lost. This scenario happens more often than you think. I thought the author did a good job setting up the scenario, building suspense, and then nailed a happy ending. I liked that the story left the reader on a more positive, upbeat note.

There's a lot of emotion in this small story, which I liked. The reader can infer the scared tone in Bingi's voice and almost gives a sigh of relief when the chariot shows up. Well done taping into the reader's emotion. The author does a great job using a good economy of words.

My only suggestion would be to do a minor re-read/edit for punctuation. The flow and pacing of this flash fiction is spot on.

A Bee Hive Review

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#1474097 by StephBee

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