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Review Requests: ON
2,382 Public Reviews Given
2,437 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Minimalist. Focus on technical. I also look at how a work would fit into the traditional publishing landscape. I don't use a template. Warning: I am Australian, and so cultural differences may apply.
Favorite Genres
Most, really.
Least Favorite Genres
Fan-fiction
Favorite Item Types
Short stories and essays.
I will not review...
I will not review porn, fan-fiction or pro-religious/OTT-pro-USA essays. No interactives either, please.
Public Reviews
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Review of Rave  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Saw this in The Bradbury.

A sweet little tale of the worrying mother and the child exceeding expectations. We went through something similar with my son, so I can relate all too well. The thoughts of the worst happening ring all too true and the ending where the child has made a sensible choice made me nod in appreciation.

Technically, one nitpick: "She blinked at me," does not need a comma, but a full stop, as blinked is not a dialogue tag. That's it. (Yes, I am pedantic.)

Still, good story. Well done and good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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2
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

As someone with no tattoos (and at one workplace, I was literally the only one, male or female, who was a "cleanskin"), I can see where you are coming from here.

As a discussion on tattoos, I feel it is a little short. For example, why have tattoos become more acceptable? Your cons are glossed over as questions. The pros leaves out things like a sense of belonging and a means of self-identification. At 322 words, it could easily have cracked triple that with some more in-depth examination.

And it did not really have a conclusion, which things like this need to tie it all up.

Still, good start and good luck going forward.


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3
3
Review of Gray  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

An interesting tale of two youngsters doing something not good, and the consequences later on (as implied). Gray definitely comes across as the instigator, so that is well done, and the ending section just gives us enough to understand what is going on.

Now, the opening para has "his shorter, younger teen." Should this be friend? Teen does not work here at all. And then a little later, "How do you know... something." stands out because it is separated from the speakers, so it makes no sense as to who it is implied is saying the phrase.

So a good little piece of flash, just could do with a little tightening. Good luck going forward.


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Review of A fish story  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.' And, yes, I know it is quite and old piece, but it just tickled my fancy.

The idea of the youngest "annoying" sibling outdoing the rest, and the words being used not being normal ones is the sort of subversion that is subtle and harms no-one in the story, and just brings a smile to my face.

Technically, very clean.

This was a fun piece of flash fiction. Good job and good luck going forward.


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5
5
Review of Query Letter  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
This came up on Read A Newbie.

As far as a query letter goes, all this does is tell the agent about the story. While that is important, there should also be something about you in there. Previous writing credits are vital to getting an agent (or to even get traditionally published), and if you have none, then your previous writing experience - school newsletters, online, etc. In today's market, they also want all your social media details. Many agents also like to have a third person biography of around 50 words, the sort that would appear in a magazine if you were published in one. Some also like to know if you have other works written or if you are working on anything else, but that is individual to the agent you are submitting to.

It is fine that you did not include an entire summary or synopsis of events, as that is a separate document they look for. What you are trying to do here is capture the agent's attention. The final sentence where you just repeat what the story is is unnecessary. It feels like padding.

I will also say that 40k words, while technically a novel, is a hard sell in today's market. I have had 1 novel sold of that length (to Grinning Skull Press), but the rest of my novels have been much longer.

Technically, it is fine, although it does not read smoothly, but format wise, I would either indent the paragraphs or add an extra line between them.

Anyway, I hope this review helps. Good luck going forward.


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for entry "Was That So hard?" Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Nice little drabble here! Glad to see you are still using the format to write some fun stories.

And I did not see what he was going to say coming, so you surprised me, but I should have.

Brought a smile to my face.

Technically, one little thing: full stop after sarcastically, not comma, as "grinned" is not a dialogue tag. Yes, pedantic. I know.

Still, fun tale. Nice work and good luck going forward.


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Review of An Expected Visit  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

Well, this story got dark and went to a place I did not see coming! That is not a criticism; I like it when endings surprise me.

I do know some people would want a trigger warning, but I am glad you didn't; it would have ruined the ending.

I like the way you made us think it was a child, but, no, it was something darker.

Great little piece of flash; good luck going forward.


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Review of Safe Again  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

A pleasant little vignette of time marching on, but not necessarily being left in the rear vision mirror. The idea of repurposing as one gets older is something my own generation and those afterwards do not do enough of.

Technically, clean as anything.

This was a fine micro-tale. Well done and good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

Fun little tale, balancing tell v show just about right for a flash fiction tale. I say just about because you include extraneous details about the rejected moneys which word count could have been used to give Monk a little more personality or focus on the relationship between Monk and trainer.

Technically, it was clean.

Anyway, the story was still an interesting and fun little tale. Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
10
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Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Well, that went to a dark place!

While I could see the ending coming, it did feel very out of character in the manner in which it was done. This was not the Ambrose in the rest of the story, and that felt odd.

So, with that out of the way, the opening of this tale is really strong, with Ambrose the butt of jokes, and the history lesson was introduced organically, before the discovery, which also made sense. The beginning was a nice build-up. And the ending of wanting to go home felt perfect.

Technically, quite clean. Nicely done.

So, good story with one thing that stood out to me. Good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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Review of Mystery Solved  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

I love it when a story, especially a flash, does not go where I thought it was going to go, and this was done perfectly. The hints - great grandmother, the old planes - should have been enough, but they weren't, so you go me.

Good story as well, with the perfect show v tell for the flash format. And technically, it was very clean, with a couple of commas that should maybe have been semi-colons the only issue.

So, great little piece. Good luck going forward.


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Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

Interesting little tale. A lie to promote a better future. Is it a lie, or is it something else? A family myth? The story leaves it quite open as to what happens next, but you get the feeling Jayden knows the future that could befall his brother.

A strong tale with a moral ambiguity. Technically, very clean. I don't think it would have worked as well outside of the flash format, so that containment did help the story.

Really well done; good luck going forward.


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Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

Oh, yeah, as soon as you mentioned the question, I had flashbacks to our own garage sale. But my ex was ready - she had a sign she had made earlier: "Garage, $1.5 million. $2 million if you take it now." Not one person asked that question after she plastered it near the entrance to the sale.

This was a fun little vignette. Technically it was very clean, with a few places I would have put commas, but that could be a cultural difference.

Fun little piece of flash fiction. Good luck going forward.


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14
14
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

A poem of hope, of coming out of something - the "storm" - with wisdom. It might be wisdom born of pain, but it has been learnt and earned.

I read poetry out loud, and this wanted to be read slowly, but some of the longer lines felt rushed. Personally, I'd cut some of them by a couple of syllables, but I do get the personal nature of the work.

Still, strong piece, and good luck going forward.


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Review of Thanksgiving 2025  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is so sweet. Yes, sweet. I am not going to pry for details, but for him to reach out to you is great. And if the day had something to do with it, then all the better.

This is something I always considered poetry to be - an emotion put onto paper, getting it out while it is raw and fresh. And I can feel that rawness. As such, I am not going to nitpick technicals, but say this is where poetry works where other writing forms may not.

Thanks for sharing this with all of us.


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Review of Disney Dilemma  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

A simple tale with a good message - sometimes we need to live for the moment, not the schedule. It is something too many forget, and it bleeds, as in this tale, from occupation to personal life. But having him see the reason for doing something being his daughter's smile, that was perfect.

Technically, it was very clean, and as a story, it fit in well within the flash fiction format with the right amount of tell v show. In fact, i don't think this would have worked as well as a longer piece.

Great job, and good luck going forward.


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Review of Autocorrect  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

Now, first, I started to read this and almost gave up. The opening did not grab me. But then when Edward came into the story, I couldn't stop reading. Unlike many stories about this sort of thing, your means of "defeating" the AI made sense. The nonsense of reality really worked and I can see that either sending an AI loopy (so to speak), or completely off the deep end (like those teddy bears telling kids where to finds knives).

As a story, it was well done, and the use of Samantha worked well to give a more grounded reality - this was not just Nathan, this was everyone. But the opening needs to be a little more "oomph", to me.

Technically, there were a number of small errors, but nothing a good edit won't fix. It just needs a clean set of eyes, I think.

So, a really strong story. Nice job, and good luck going forward.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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18
for entry "The Animal Inside" Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Saw this in The Bradbury.

Although I knew what was coming, even without the prompt, you have done well keeping the truth hidden from those who might not be aware of tropes and the prompt, until the very end. Lots of hints, making this more a psychological horror than a true monster tale, and you do not use the gore often used in a story of this nature (as I did).

Technically, very clean.

Story-wise, okay, with some decent hints peppered throughout. But the lack of people in the prayer circle felt a little convenient. Having Daniel there early as usual would have served the same purpose; for a group as devout as this, surely the prayer circle would be their comfort?

Good tale, and good luck going forward.


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Review of Dreamers  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

Short sharp and shiny, does not overstay its welcome, and yet tells a profound truth that too many people try to deny even as their own dreams are crushed by reality.

This is a really good little poem (poemette?). Like it a lot. Good luck going forward.


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Review of book  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
You asked for someone to give you an honest assessment.

Okay, for a young adult book, maybe middle grade, the start is fine. We have a setting implied, not spelled out, in school, there are no huge info-dumps, and you are letting us see character through the use of dialogue. All of this works well for that age group.

We are clearly setting up for a meeting between two people attracted to one another, so there is no hiding the genre either. Also very good.

Now, story-wise, the opening chapter was filled with conflict between Melanie, Alek and Roscoe. I found it hard to see that they were friends, though they must have been. Melanie came across as rather unpleasant, and a younger reader is going to need a bit to think highly of her as a main character.

Eduardo, on the other hand, came across as a bland kid. While that is perfectly fine, there was just nothing about him to grab hold of. He was not dislikable, and he seemed perfectly normal, but why should we root for him?

So, these two chapters introduce the characters well enough, and so set up a teenaged romance story.

Now, technically, there are a lot of errors in direct speech punctuation. So many. You need to look at how to punctuate direct speech, and do not trust Grammarly, as it does not know direct speech at all. I can send you to a brief guide if you want here at WdC. Also, you use a lot of hyphens when em-dashes are preferred, which makes parenthetical phrases become extended words.

Format-wise, the opening word and punctuation of each chapter is lost in a mess of trying to look fancy. If you are ever going to submit this, then that is totally unnecessary.

So I hope that is what you're after. Good luck going forward.
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Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

A sweet story that I am sure many people can relate to. Waiting for that partner to get ready, growing impatient, and then seeing them and thinking the wait was simply worth it.

This was done well within the restrictions of the flash fiction format, and, honestly, I don't think it would have been as impactful if it had been longer. Being short meant it was there, and it felt more like a slice of life.

Technically, missing quotation marks at the end of the second-to-last paragraph. Yeah, picky, but it was all I saw!

Well done, and good luck going forward.


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22
Review of Hourglass  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well, I thought I'd give this a go after you mentioned it.

The hourglass shape was not just a shape for the poem, but the them of the poem as well, which worked a lot better than some shape poems I have read. The changing line length as the sands run down, and then build up with a constant rhyme scheme works well.

I read poetry our loud, and that shifting line length makes the reader speed up as we get to the middle, then slow as we reach the end - it works well.

Good work and nicely done.


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Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

I like it when I see a new poetry form, and the Clerihew actually looks like one I could do! Thanks for including the explanation in the post, and easy to understand.

Fun little poem that follows all the dictates of the form, and which, now a few years later, still holds as true as it did back then,

Not much more to say - just a good poem that holds well to the form. Good luck going forward.


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Review of Candle  Open in new Window.
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read & Review.'

An interesting use of the shape poem, ustilising a rhyming poem format in prose to fill in the shape of the candle with its melted wax base. Told from the PoV of the candle, it is a pleasant little poem, almost the antithesis of some classics of the 1960s that went very negative.

I read poetry out loud, and this was fine. A few lines were a little long, syllable-wise, but it worked in general.

A very interesting way of telling this tale and one that I think worked well. Good luck going forward.


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25
25
Review by S🤦‍♂️ Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This came up on 'Read A Newbie.'

A powerful wake up call. No power, no money for bills was hinted without being made explicit, and the realisation adults do not have all the answers. It comes to everyone eventually, but, as you say, we muddle on.

Technically, this was nice and clean. Format-wise, I'd separate the paragraphs a little better, and I don't get why the opening para was centred.

So presentation more than content things. Still, good story, and good luck going forward.


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