"Fragmented thoughts of digital kind"- I thought that was a good line. i thought you really captured the technological part of the subject, you added enough description and detail like "blue screen of death" and "nil circuits untouched". one thing i did notice, though, is your lack of punctuation and some words just don't sound right in the poem. other than that, awesome job!
- Erika
P.S.- if you don't mind, would you be willing to review some of my items? i'm new to this site and need people's feedback. thanks!
hmmm... i don't think i fully understand your conflict in this poem. what feelings and experiences were you trying to relate to the reader? other than that spotof confusion, i enjoyed your piece! it's good to read rhymes, and you did an excellent job! please check out my items, and once again, great poem!
wow. that's quite powerful. i enjoyed it! i love the way you describe the women- how they look and their actions, and i love your word choice. it's quite vivid and fits your tone, in my opinion. overall, quite spectacular. like i said, it really strikes you at the end- the man is naught, if not an artist. i think it really opens the reader's eyes to your toleranceand persistence. nice job!
check out my stuff, please! i'm working on a sort of poetry journal, and i would love to hear some feedback about it!
That was beautifully written. It gave me chills. Were you trying to emphasize some deep metaphor or philosophical question? If you were, it was quite well done. My goodness, that was excellent! It's so interesting and, well, deep in meaning. Excellent job!
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