The writer seems to be almost at the dead end of present situation. Green indicates his hope for future, the dream he has to reach one day. Find meaning of life and settle for a peaceful existence. Now he is turning a corner and be on the next best level he could find.
"There is a purpose to my life
To free myself from the constrained"
Indeed, one should not make do with what the present offers which may not be joyous or contented.
This poem also shows the readiness to find the "green." It is a metaphor for a bright and beautiful future as one would aspire for.
Title is apt and so are the thoughts expressed in the poem.
It flows well.
A poem that ends on a note of hope.
A lonely woman's anguish is visually shown. Three kids and self do not make a happy home. A man's presence and love is what they seek, especially the lonesome woman.
To get through a working day is truly tough particularly in the morning hours which by all means, is painfully short.
"The children have no patience,
they yell at me to get them food,"
Now the day is gone but the night is young. Problem of loneliness and a cold bed and a yearning heart sing a sad song, perhaps remembering the past joy of a complete family.
"I wish to myself I had someone,
to hold me close and love me right,"
Images of a family living by themselves play on my mind.
A practical poem on the temptation of a take out. I don't think there is anyone out there, who would resist the delights served in a fast food center.
"Steamed, stir-fried, deep-fried."
Well chosen adjectives for the steaming food on the tray.
The use of "guilty pleasure" exactly describes the feeling in the consumer's mind.
There are more harmful effects of junk food than one could count. Yet who can resist its delights.
"when my belly bloats:
I'll regret this."
The state of mind on a grey day is what I understand is depicted here.
Rhyme and rhythm are the best features wherein words are chosen and used with utmost care.
"In silence flew the morning swan
A breath to bloom the face of dawn"
The beauty and serenity of a swan in the morning ring in a fresh start, a new calm?
The presence of an unseen spirit is clearly felt bringing relief to the who lost it.
"The essence wove above the land"
The mind that is in constant thoughts of the departed loved one, feels him or her just above or near. Enough to go through the rest of the journey.
Scary thoughts indeed.
This poem scrolls down with a long list of dark thoughts that play and replay in the poet's mind. Mind is such that it can change heaven into hell and vice versa.
Beware the negative constructions which wipe away calm and serenity that dwell in the same mind.
The poet did his level best in bringing out hell's angels. The soul is rent asunder with unbearable thoughts of everything that is hellish and evil.
Mind is a strange mechanism. It has layers of memory. We remember clearly what happened years ago down the past compared to the events of recent times.
Psychologists have their opinion.
Rosy reflections of the past tend to stay on mind more lastingly. Persons, places and associations that appeal to the person are recalled easily.
No doubt these memories clearly indicate the mind-set and the things that you liked at that point of time left a deeper impressions than you have ever imagined possible.
Edit-
"thou i don't always remember what happen a week ..."
(though I don't always remember what happened a week ...)
Good or bad, words have power to cut, cleave, depress or uplift, make or unmake a life.
So we know what to be said or left unsaid.
"If you ever hear someone begin:
“I probably shouldn’t say this,” STOP THEM."
I like the counsel given in the lines above.
Any sensible person would not say something he already knows as useless or unnecessary.
"Huge words" is an interesting adjectival. But bearing down on the woman and her child is a mistake. Mere crowd mentality is shown here as something irrational driven by "unknown intention".
Love this lovely metaphor of dinner plates washing with hands signaling the joy of life.
"she is at her most beautiful.
This is her nightly rhythm."
A simple thing contains beauty and joy for the woman in the poem. And it also shows the love she has for herself.
Indeed doing chores or anything else in a perfect rhythmic way shows the attention you pay to the task.
"with the grace of a woman
who has learned to love herself."
Washing dishes is no mean matter. Oh no, not at all, as some would presume. Reading this poem elevates it to new heights of love and perfection.
Each tomorrow is filled with unknown promises to brighten life. Indeed we need to welcome it with all heart.
It should not just come and go in an indifferent way. In dreaming about tomorrow's joy fills my present with benign thoughts.
Tomorrow is joy unlimited, tomorrow is love much wanted. Most of all tomorrow is hope, the light of life.
Poet has very well personified the the thought of welcoming tomorrow with perceptive lines like
"Who will hand it a hot drink,
A biscuit and a blanket?"
This free style poem looks like a long metaphor of life where we are expected to look forward to future with hope and positivity.
This is a heartfelt poem from a grandfather for his granddaughter Jenny.
Grand children are the sources of joy for those who love them unconditionally.
The form and the rhyme scheme, ABAB suit the simple and appealing expression of love and attachment.
"More precious each day
Than words can ever say'
The bond between them is shown in visual imagery.
Word choices and line endings are the key to success of this poem, besides the content of course.
It flows well.
The difference between man and God may be summed up in the saying "To err is human, to forgive is divine". (Alexander Pope in An Essay on criticism.) Yet, there is a spark of divinity in everyone. We just need to identify it and use it for the good of all.
He gives endlessly and still there is room to fill. Such is the mercy of God. So the question, “Why God do you do stuff for me?" stands small.
The writer brings out the fact that despite sinning he gets all the benefits from God, because He is the Creator and Protector as well.
This conversation ends on a note of love. God's unconditional love is for all, animate or inanimate.
Great conclusion.
"Logically, I would have given up on me a long time ago."
Could it be "Logically, you would have given up on me a long time ago."?
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on God and man.
The story of the writer's life (or anyone else's) is narrated in stages at four, seven and forty nine.
Innocence changes to experience, pure joy of discovering slowly turns to a familiar scene.
Now comes the deep change of close relationships that touch every part of life and heart with marriage and the birth of a child.
And then comes that all important inevitable question.
" Where will it end, will it evaporate and travel on the wind to see me again? "
Each person has his or her own answers to this rhetorical question.
Life is but a chain of vital moments becoming indelible memories stored in heart for future reference.
I like the way you have captured life in three stages.
I like the way you are revisiting the past writing and assessing its and merits and demerits. I think it is a fruitful lesson for all concerned. Yes, I too should go to that long-due edit or edits.
It is like a new adventure right before you on the desk or desktop. I need to make my stories more appealing and my poetry more precise in terms of poetic elements.
In the meanwhile new ideas flash on the mind urging me to put them on paper before they dissolve into oblivion.
The effort that goes into revamping the past creations is definitely admirable.
"So, to 2010 me and 2017 me, goodbye. It’s been an education, but you can get lost. I’m going to enjoy myself, and make another mess."
The anticlimax apart, it certainly is an "education." Good luck with the new beginning!
This is a wise write up on how to be individualistic in forming opinions about anything in general.
This is a proven fact in all fields of life, especially in politics.
Going by the public opinion may ditch us in the end and we find ourselves lost and bewildered.
"At the end of the day the crowd does not know the truth."
So it is advised that we should avoid jumping on the bandwagon as a short cut or a convenient means to avoid taking the trouble of expressing unique and perceptive ideas or opinions after deep thought.
"Know thy own truths before adopting someone else truths."
This article certainly makes me think of the importance of self respect, which leads to the right assessment of self and society.
We need to contemplate the facts stated in the above note.
When I am tired of walking, I would just sit in the garden looking at the green gold surrounding me. My eyes feel soothed, my mind restful and my spirit uplifting. It is a great privilege to just stand or sit and stare at the good things spread around, when I am tired of walking or living the daily grind. A singing bird wakes me up and whatever bad dreams I had the night before, just get erased. That bird tells me to rise and shine. I do. The red dawn welcomes me to just sit on the terrace, do some yoga and meditation instead of walking. Why walk when tired of it and get my feet sore and face all the threats that it poses? There are always alternatives.
Great poem! I understand walking is used here as a metaphor for life.
The happy and carefree atmosphere of March is shown well in this prose poem. March is a gentle month with soft winds and mild sunshine. flowers bloom and buds dance in anticipation in this season of spring. Men and women walk the gardens with arms locked around each other. Love is in the air.
Sports and athletics are just the activities sought after by boys and girls. The playgrounds are alive and bright with their shouts and screams as they make a goal or reach the finishing line.
"For basketball fans, it can be ecstatic. 64 collegic teams, sent around the country, to battle on the court for glory."
edit-
"collegic"
(college)
March combines many wonderful things as stated by the author. Easily the best loved month throughout the globe.
Contrary to the view that east and west cannot meet, I find it fructifying through years and across continents.
This romantic poem best expresses the depth and profundity of true love. If there is a strong will it can win the toughest of odds is what is proved by the lovers.
"Through miles of distance, we bridged the gap,
Creating a bond stronger than any map."
Unlike the tragic lovers we heard of, this particular romance ends on a note of ceaseless love.
Rhyme and rhythm take me to their worlds apart.
Word choices are simple, yet touch my hear to the core.
I only wonder if it is ever possible for them to join in wedlock and live a happy life together.
So far, the narration of a family saga sounds interesting. So what happens next? More questions are there on my mind.
The father with a history of four wives and their children now living under one roof makes an interesting read.
In my country, men marry once and that's all come rain or shine.
I realize that different cultures have different practices.
Each character is given certain characteristic features, which the author describes with verve and enthusiasm.
You talk about a secret, which is still not revealed. I do wonder about it.
Hope you will put your pen to the journal continue to write about the later events.
I wish you luck.
Language and style are certainly the best credits of this short nonfiction story.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.79 seconds at 6:48am on Apr 24, 2025 via server WEBX1.
| (4.5)
| (4.0)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
