You story was told in such a way that helps the reader remember a time that they had to keep pushing. In remembering the pain of going through a hard time, the darkness that seemed to never end, and the determination used to make it through, we can see that there is always a way to become a "winner" on the other side of the struggle.
Thank you for sharing this with the writing.com family
Ida Matilda (Wright) Slusher
So few words to explain such big emotion. This is a well written poem that creates emotion. If you did not have the dog's picture, each person can internalize to meet how they feel. I have lost pets and loved ones that see when I read your words. Remembering that pets are family, these words carry much emotion.
I loved how you used your words to create a story in a story. Your description of how Samuel felt is amazing and skillful. It flows well from one paragraph to the next. I was surprised to see how you used the thorns and their sting to merge reality with the book.
Thank you for sharing such a great story.
Ida Matilda (Wright) Slusher
Your words paint a picture of disaster with promises of hope. It effortlessly conveys the questions that people ask in times of disaster. I could almost smell the smoke running through the forest. The words that you chose created vision for the reader. We were able to see the emotion of the story teller.
Thank you for sharing such a great story in poetry.
I love this poem. It was a smooth read, and reminded me of how I feel in the early stages of love. I still feel that way at times. I can see a couple with a head laying on a body that is reluctant to move because they don't want the minute to end. I remember not moving and watching my love's chest move with ever breath. I felt the stiffness of the morning after.
This brought back memories.
Thank you for sharing such a sweet poem.
Ida Matilda (Wright) Slusher
What a beautiful story and picture that you formed with your words. It was easy to read, complete, and emotional. I loved how you described the relationship of the girl and her great grandmother in the line about the box and ashes. I loved how you described how the girl saw a younger version of her grandmother from the past in the castle. It was a read worthy of a short film or continued into a novel.
I love the way this poem flows. It reminds me of tongue twisters and riddles that my parents used to tell me as a child. The words were well chosen to make the reader think. I read this three times. I love the line that spoke of itch or purr and the line about merry me.
This was an interesting read.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Ida Matilda (Wright) Slusher
You did a great job painting a picture of love and forgiveness. I story was easy to read and I was able to see the events as you described them in the passage. You were able to compare elements of Adam's and Evelyn's live. She would never believed that her husband would kill, and she would never have thought that she could forgive murder. Adam never thought that love could understand and forgive the unspeakable.
I am amazed at the "Alice and Wonderland" type scene that you were able to paint with your words. It was a fun read that made me feel child-like. The description that you were able to use was smooth with crazy loops of ideas like "midnight at noon". The words flowed so effortless as reflecting on a great painting. This is a work well done.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Ida Matilda (Wright) Slusher
This poem could make a love song. I love the flow, and amazed by the picture that it creates. I remember feeling this as I fell in love. The hope for a great future, and how the world seemed to be spinning around us, but the events of the world not touching or effecting our lives. After all as long as we had each other, nothing can take our joy.
Loved the message of the poem, and found the flow created an enjoyable read.
This is a beautiful poem that helps us look past situations to the promises of tomorrow. I feel that words living in my heart now. I am a mother of three, stepmother of three, and grandmother of four, and I just graduated with my CDA in 2021, AA in 2023, BS in 2025, and now taking my Masters in Early Childhood Education with Leadership. At 57 with problems deteriorating joints and spine, I am growing to do more for the generations that come behind me. I want to reach young minds like the teachers in my life touched me.
Thank you for sharing such an impactful passage.
Ida Matilda (Wright) Slusher
I loved this passage. I can truly relate to the picture. I was married for sixteen years to a man who never cussed me, hit me, or stole from me. However, he never worked, and I gave him all that I could. I married to mate for life. We had three children, and he found excitement with other women. It took prayers and God to help me forgive. Now my new husband and ex are closer than I am with him.
This was a beautifully written picture of many women today asking the same questions to seek the answers to why.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Ida Matilda (Wright) Slusher
This was a visual poem. I loved being able to see the forest as two different dainties. Or the woods as having two different moods. In the darkness of the night the area seems to be protected and surveyed by the trees, but as drums beat and the morning arrives, the area seems to be happy and content.
Thank you for sharing such a picture of past heritage.
Ida Matilda (Wright) Slusher
WOW. I am very religious. I was terrified to read this passage because of the first paragraph. However, I found that you captured the spiritual battle that each of us face on the daily. It painted a picture of the car event, I could see the Korean girl with the pastor, and the time in the air was very visual. I was holding my breath. I could feel anxiety both spiritually and physical (I'm afraid of heights) as I read your passage. I love the comedic ending. Great job.
Thank you for sharing.
Ida Matilda (Wright) Slusher
Hello, I do not get on writing.com much because of life and work situations. However, I love it here.
That being said, I love this story. You wrote the story in such a manner that I would see those lively kittens grow up. I could also feel your devotation to them.
THis was a fun read. The only suggestion for me was to have discription of the kittens' colors. The color and design of kittens can be as much fun and contribute to their personalities.
As a cat lover, this was a heart warming and relatable story.
This was a beautiful love story. It is one that gives a magical hope that death does not necessarily separate those who truly love each other. I long for that. I know that there are couples that pray that this type of idea is not true. These people pray for death to separate them so that they don't have to continue together.
This story is written so lovingly. I can picture the situation so clearly and the read is so smooth.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Ida Matilda Wright
I enjoyed this read. The story line was unusual and imaginative. It was a fun read. You painted a vivid picture for the reader. The emotions were raw, and the conversations were playful. I also like how you gave the vamp woman power to communicate through mental telepathy.
This was a fun read. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Ida Matilda Wright
I love this story. The material was well explained, and the events were painted in vivid detail with your descriptive word choices. The title caught my attention, but the flow of the story kept my attention.
I am in a literature course right now, and this piece could fit right into the course work. I saw a wonderful for the literary techniques that I learned about in class. I really feel that you have a wonderful grasp on imagery.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Ida Matilda Wright
I like the style of your poem. It was a pleasant read. The flow was easy to read. The only suggestion is only because I have such bad vision, I would enjoy the poem more if the font was larger. I am happy to say that I will re-visit your port when time permits. I go to school, work, and have a family member who just had a stroke. However, please email me to remind me to read more of your work. It was truly an enjoyable read with a good story line.
This is a smooth and fluent story. The characters were well developed. You were able to paint the events in the story with well chosen vocabulary. This was captivating from beginning to the end. IF this is what the story is like when you feel it is unfinished, what wonderful story this would like if finished.
This was a well written story. The characters seemed to have been developed with a very easy flare. This is a wonder and amusing story line. I really think that this was worth being highlighted in comedy newsletter. I found a smile coming across my face. Jimmy has nothing on me. If there is rain to come, I always get caught in it.
Thank you for sharing this with us. I found that it has a nice flow, and the message was very clear. It was cute and brought a smile to my face. I really would like to read of more of your work. I found this highlighted on the Comedy newsletter.
This is a wonderful little story. I really enjoyed it. It really did deserve being highlighted in the newsletter. The flow was smooth. THe picture was painted in a believable manner. I would love to read more of this kind of humor.
This was a fun poll, and I enjoyed to see the votes that you have so far. I really wish that I could write at doctor's offices and such. It would make time come so much faster, and it would also keep my reviews up so that I could pay for my own prem membership. I am unable to take my computer around with me because of being afraid to break it.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Ida
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