The descriptions of the instinct leaves me wanting more depth. I truly felt pulled in, but I think it could have gone further. Overall, the language is expressive, but it feels incomplete, like a draft just before the finished product.
I don't know, I think candles are often used and loved even when they may not be a neccesity. There is something precious about impermanence or rarity. Candle lit dinners used to be romantic because you're staying up late with someone because you love them, and sleep is less important. Now it's an entirely different kind of romance. it's a gesture.
This feels oddly hopeful, like a near dead whisper of a seed. A seed that could shout beyond the volume of Zeus if only it got to grow. But there's also sadness, because the seed is all that's left, and it used to be so much more. So much more than even Zeus.
This is pretty good. I don't know if it was intended, but it felt like it was raining, like heavily. The kinda day that lets you ignore everything and feel miserable even when you shouldn't. There was one moment where the wording pulled me out of the story, but outside of that moment it feelt really real.
This is an amazing challenge, though I feel that meaning is hard to abstract unless you're really careful. The poem is pretty but feels flat and a little confused itself. I feel like the third stanza is the hardest to read, and holds the least meaning. Though I also feel like all of these drawbacks are of the style of poem. It makes it hard to write anything well, though it though, you get a wonderful feeling I can't describe. it's almost lie deja-vu, but instead of memories it's a feeling. Like a heartbeat or a war drum. it adds a rhythm to the feeling itself, that I haven't quite seen before.
I think this is a great view on what prison, or really any type of incarceration should be. Far far too many people die in prison. Last year more people who were set to leave prison in less than ten years died than people on death row. I feel like places all over the world are falling into more corrupt practices by the day, and it seems like everyone who could stop it is trying to further it. I remember a quote but not who it's from. We live in a time of ate capatlism, and the ending of this book does not seem like it will be good for humanity. Your writing has a deep and good concept, though I feel like I don't know anything about this place. It feels like you don't know anything about this place. The characters feel real, but blury. I think that you could do to describe them more in their actions and thoughts, and to go more into detail about the prison as kitti goes through it.
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