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Review Requests: FULL
1 Public Reviews Given
1 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Im happy to review most things, if it holds my interest though I will be less sloppy and more engaged.
I'm good at...
My main strength is the nuance of a story, does it flow well, does it hold the reader's interest. Things like plot and motivations. I'm fairly good at grammar and punctuation and will be happy to point out what I see.
Favorite Genres
action adventure fantasy
Least Favorite Genres
Erotica if it's just smut
Favorite Item Types
Stories with worldbuilding, involved characters, and fantasy elements. I really love post apocalyptic worlds, if you have one I'd love to read it.
Least Favorite Item Types
Erotica if it's just smut with no story, and werewolf stories
I will not review...
Erotica if it's just smut
Public Reviews
1
1
Review of Mister  Open in new Window.
Review by Xonereth Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
The passage you provided though not very long is a delightful poem of love. It is a cozy and heartwarming narrative, I can see the scene in my mind, and I could see why your friend loved it.

Here's a review focusing on its strengths and areas for potential refinement.

Overall Impression

The narrative is engaging and immersive, drawing the reader into a brief moment of time, that first impression of love, and the meeting of a soul mate.

Atmosphere

* Vivid Imagery: The descriptions of the "Walking by flower shops, smelling the flowers on the way" connotate happiness and a sense of well being, without needing extensive exposition.

Specific Suggestions for Improvement

* The last line in the first verse is rather clunky "Saw this Man from the street, I can't ignore this charming man" The use of the word man twice does not read well, and interrupts the the narratives flow. Perhaps consider varying the final word to something like..."Saw this Man from the street, I can't ignore this charming chap" or something else along those lines that reads better.

Conclusion

This is a strong and heartwarming piece of poetry. The author has a clear vision for the feeling it generates. The strengths far outweigh the areas for refinement, which are mostly about polishing and subtle enhancements rather than fundamental changes. With a careful edit, this poem could be even more impactful...Well done! Xonereth


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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