Wave Mail

Pirate captain Buckler recieves mail. 300 words.

Wave Mail

Captain Buckler, the scourge of one sea so far, was scanning the skies. Not for ships full of booty, although he would have liked to catch sight of those too. He was waiting for his parrot, Swash, to return from his morning exercise flight.

“Mr. Chris, have you seen hide nor feather of my companion, Swash?” bellowed the captain.

“No sir, I seen him leave, but not since,” came the ready answer.

“That scurvy bird! He needs to get back aboard before we get too far away.”

Buckler heaved a great sigh of relief, when he spotted red and yellow feathers. Swash landed softly on his left shoulder. He dropped a bottle to the deck without smashing it, which was a feat for him.

“What’s this, mangy bird?” the captain asked as he bent to pick it up. Inside was a letter.

“Oho, a message in a bottle! Mr. Chris, come to me at once!” Buckler roared.

Mr. Chris was at his side at once.

“Read this to me, it may be important.”

Mr. Chris cleaned his glasses with a not so clean kerchief he wore around his neck. Then he cleared his throat thoroughly.

“To whom it may concern: We have been trying to reach you regarding an extended warranty on your ship... the rest is too wet to read, sir.”

“Rapscallions, dirty dogs of a sea cook, villains and the lowest forms of human life, we shall find them and teach them not to threaten a pirate with such gibberish,” Buckler cursed and swore as he stumped up and down the deck on his second-best wooden leg.

Swash joined in the general noise with squawks, whistles and curses of his own from the captain’s forearm.

“Turn back to Shipwreck Bay. I need a lawyer!” Buckler decided.