Raid at dawn

The lander lands and the assault begins. Let's see what the troops do

Chapter One -- The Assault Begins

"Why exactly should I charge down this ramp? I don't see you getting ready to run into enemy fire with me." The battle droid turned its massive squat head to look at its diminutive companion. The battle droid's head was neatly stenciled with the number zero one, and it went by the name ZeroOne.

"Because ZeroOne, you are an assault droid, and your job is to run down this ramp right before us and absorb all of the impacts from resistance forces." The smaller droid, also with a neat stencil on its head - gamma two - brightened its optic lenses as it looked up at its pod mate. The brightened lenses had the effect of making GammaTwo - as it called itself - look irritated.

"Just like it says in the book," GammaTwo continued. "And also, you have a very large ablative shield that you can use to deflect shots and energy beams. So really, you are ideal for running down ramps and into enemy fire." GammaTwo turned down the intensity of its eye lenses and leaned back on its hydraulic chassis.

ZeroOne however, continued to inquire into things, disengaging the privacy of the laser comm in favor of voice communication. The better to establish authority. "Louder is righter as they say," ZeroOne thought to itself with a mental applause.

"What now? You think that I am a bigger target and so I should just absorb impacts so that we can spare your metal hide?" ZeroOne rose on squat, thickly armored legs. It turned ponderously, the deck booming as its feet stamped about. "I do not think that is a very fair plan. You are small and fast and can easily dodge various ballistae and such. You should go first," ZeroOne leaned over GammaTwo, a cliff of metal and weapons emplacements. "And don't think to argue with me on this!" ZeroOne shouted for good measure.

"Hey, keep that kaggle down you kaggling machines!" A communication nodule joined into the discussion, shouting its opinion from across the vast chamber filled with mostly motionless war machines. "No one wants to hear your pontificating, especially from your durasteel asses, squad one. You want to roust Commander Twil from her slumber? Also, you are both going in the first wave so get yourselves ready. The nodule snickered at that last.

"You see?" GammaTwo turned its lenses back up to look at its buddy. "You have attracted the attention of group master J'ion. You are a gauche machine. I have said that before, and now we will both be tasked with all of the worst part of this assault." GammaTwo angled its lenses separately, adopting an attitude of sadness. "But that is our lot. Strange though, my internal chrono says that we were supposed to touch down twenty demi-cycles ago."

As GammaTwo finished speaking - using its laser to communicate with ZeroOne, as was standard and decorous practice - there was a terrific bump and the bay doors began to cycle open, letting in a sudden blast of air.

Both machines began to rush forwards towards the doors in preparation for a contested landing.

As the thirty assault mechanoids approached, the doors clam-shelled open completely to reveal the target area. Which was entirely empty.

A brisk wind picked up and blew some sort of plastic bag along the ground and then tossed it gaily into the air.

"There is some issue here - there are zero targets available." ZeroOne was scanning all around the landing area, assault cannon raised and tracks revving in anxious anticipation. Its shield was also already deployed and held directly in front of it. GammaTwo had tucked in just behind ZeroOne's bulk and was waving a somewhat smaller machine gun all about, searching for targets.

As the machines ran through their combat routines, a sound wafted in. "Ring, ring," followed by a cheerful melody.

ZeroOne, on heightened alert, began to lumber towards the sound. It was coming from a small, wheeled conveyance traveling along a hard packed surface that the lander had just bisected. And cratered. The rest of the battle squad followed ZeroOne as it moved towards the new target. In keeping with doctrine and hard-wired protocol, the machines all fanned out into a crescent. The collective steel and bristling weapons formed an impenetrable barricade.

ZeroOne, notional leader of the machines, stood tall in the middle of the packed substrate that the oncoming mechanism was travelling on. ZeroOne's targeting array had fastened onto some sort of bio-bod that was parasitizing the wheeled system. ZeroOne's targeting array was pulsing red and had already advised that the assault cannon as well as the ion beamer were both ready to engage.

"Stop right there, enemy!" ZeroOne thundered at the still moving conveyance. The crowd of assault machines behind ZeroOne shifted slightly at the sound, making a chaotic metal clanking sound as they did. One of the units on the far-right edge of the crescent stepped forward, stomping a few small rocks to dust. The unit, identified as Three, known by others for its punctilious nature, turned its head towards ZeroOne and sent an interrogatory laser beam.

"Permission to fire?"

No response came from ZeroOne, which was booming its commandment to the oncoming threat to "Stop!"

Three returned its attention to the wheeled mechanism and after a moment of deliberation, spun up its multi-barreled hard slug thrower. "It is permitted to be prepared to do combat." Three thought.

At that point, whatever the conveyance and its biological component was, it seemed to have noticed that there was some sort of frightful committee calling for its attention - and had stopped quite abruptly.

The bio-bod dismounted the conveyance and ambled up to ZeroOne's towering form.

"You guys are blocking the road here." The bio-bod stood, arms akimbo. "I got ice cream to deliver and it's going to melt."

"What? You must surrender immediately. You will disarm, set your weapons load of ice-cream to the side and prepare for internment." ZeroOne was somewhat familiar with subterfuge and had even seen a simulated scenario once. "You are now a prisoner of the Seventh Assault Clade," ZeroOne added a sniff. It sounded a bit metallic and non-threatening, so supplemented it with an air raid siren's hoot.

"That's not going to work at all. How exactly will the ice cream be delivered if I am detained?" The parasite had taken on an appearance of distress and was jabbing its upper limbs into the air animatedly. "This isn't one of your big outfits. If I don't deliver on time, I'm out of business! I'm calling the One-Five!" A large, curved device was produced from somewhere on the biological's body and it put the thing to its head and began talking into it.

ZeroOne began to step forward, but was preempted by GammaTwo, who, sliding forward on its built-in antigrav, muttered darkly, "leave negotiations and interrogations to those of us trained and programmed to negotiate and interrogate."

GammaTwo stopped directly in front of the parasite creature. They were only inches apart and GammaTwo being somewhat taller inclined its head to address the creature.

"Now look here, I am GammaTwo and I am second spokes-mechanism for this assault clade. You are in no position to discuss or negotiate your situation and we are taking both you and your delivery of explosives - " GammaTwo pointed its assault rifle at the three wheeled conveyance. " - to the prison camp that we shall construct over there." GammaTwo pivoted and pointed at a patch of dirt to the side of the black surface they were all standing on.

"This unit can assure you that you will not enjoy your imprisonment unless you cooperate fully." GammaTwo turned up the luminosity of its lenses and angled them steeply towards its subject. The effect was somewhat diluted by the sun being up and the whole area therefore relatively well-lit already.

The biological ignored GammaTwo and continued yammering into its device, ending with a vigorous nodding of its head and then a loud proclamation. "That is right, these oil cans are probably still running Win4. And one of them even thinks it's intelligent!" The parasite disappeared the communicator into some part of its clothing and then made a hacking sound and blew some viscous fluid through an aperture in the frontal part of its head.

The liquid splatted on GammaTwo's left pauldron and GammaTwo emitted a bloop of alarm reversing as it did.

As GammaTwo retreated slightly, it noticed that the creature was starting to remind it rather uncomfortably of one of the bio-bod controllers aboard the orbiting flagship that had dropped their lander. In fact, absent the limbs, the biological would be a very close approximation to Commander Twil Al Al.

That was a most discouraging thought and GammaTwo continued to inch back as it contemplated the possibility of admonition for having verbally assaulted a disguised Commander Twil. "Halving of electrical recharge ration for insubordinate and un-machine-like conduct!"

ZeroOne on the other hand, had no qualms or concerns and commenced firing.


 
Chapter Two -- The Assault Falters

"Cease fire! Cease Fire!" GammaTwo squawked as it surged power to its grav unit and scooted to the rear of the crescent of assault mechs.

Taking direction from ZeroOne's rain of weapons fire, all the other mechanoids had also begun to discharge their weapons into the offending tri-wheeled conveyance and its impudent biological. The crackling of energy weapons was interposed with the drumming of large caliber solid rounds. Within moments the entire area was covered by a cloud of smoke and dust, many of the mechanoids jostling for optimal firing angles. Three, was investing heavily in the effort and had raised one massive leg, placing its foot on a giant boulder to better brace itself. It was a formidable martial pose, and others of the group sought out their own boulders upon which to place one or more of their feet.

GammaTwo, arriving at the rear of the group activated its comms array and initiated a report back to the battleship in orbit. "Command, this is GammaTwo, Interrogator of the Seventh Assault Clade. We have encountered a hostile attempting to deliver weapons or explosives codenamed ice-cream to its allied units. We are in the process of neutralizing the target." The thought of Twil in disguise intruded on GammaTwo’s thoughts. "Umm, Command, how is Commander Twil today?" GammaTwo waited for a return communication.

The return message arrived very quickly, but not via GammaTwo's communication array. Instead there was a sudden bright spot of light that lanced down from orbit and crashed down into the midst of the assault clave. The orbital strike blasted and melted a score of the clave, causing ZeroOne to bellow commands of retreat, which sent the survivors lumbering and scurrying back to the lander.

Having scattered the mechanoids, the orbital laser abruptly shut off and GammaTwo's communicator clicked on of its own accord. Commander Twil's displeased face appeared in the viewer. She was saying something, but the audio was out of synch momentarily. GammaTwo made the universal sign of "I cannot hear." and Twil frowned then reached for something of screen.

After some energetic movement and struggle, Twil came back with her prize. A large metal rod, fattened at one end, and with the words "Discipline" written on it. She brandished it on the screen as she continued to speak noiselessly.

GammaTwo, recognizing that perhaps the issue was on its end, turned up the volume and suddenly Commander Twil's voice came through in mid rant.

"- I will embed this bat that you see here before you in the most unspeakable places. Do you hear me!? And as for ZeroOne and that Seventh Clade nonsense. I have had it!" Twil was clearly annoyed and was drooling just a bit. She wiped her mouth with one metallic tentacle and continued her tirade. "Yes, that stupid look on your face tells me that you understand. You know what I don't think you really do understand actually!" She looked off screen. "Fire again madame gunner. I want that clade properly chastised. No survivors!" She screamed the last part. All three of her eyes were wide open, rolling.

"Incoming!" GammaTwo trumpeted through its external address system, unsure where particularly to point its comms laser in the dust cloud that the first orbital strike had raised. "Orbital artillery strike!" GammaTwo continued at maximum volume.

It was all to no avail of course, because Twil had decided that punishment was going to be most thorough and the orbital barrage that rained down erased the lander and all the mechs that had been trundling and stomping into it. GammaTwo saw ZeroOnes severed and melted head sail past to land in a ditch to the side of the hard packed surface. The alien wheeled conveyance had been blasted into the ditch, and lay there, a twisted mess leaking various fluids and vapors. The organic being that had been negotiating with the clade was gone. Evaporated by the prodigious amount of fire from the clade.

"Aha! Well, at least we took care of that problem!" GammaTwo began to slide towards the remains to examine them and perhaps to take pictures so that it could crow about the victory later.

"Stop you damned foolish construct you!" Twil was still on the communicator and apparently had not finished her admonition and tirade. "What, by the Oil Pan of Destiny do you think you are doing!?" Twil had been angry before, but now she was positively apoplectic. Tendons were standing out in her neck and her tentacle arm was waving the bat around dangerously. "You have navigated to the wrong place." She paused to inhale deeply. Her neck and cheeks expanding visibly. Then she screamed. "Again!! Once more you went to the wrong blasted address!" She interrupted her screaming, out of breath, then finished up. "That's our own planet you just assaulted!"

GammaTwo drooped its assault rifle and closed the armored flaps over its lenses. “Quarter recharge rations for sure.”

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