Upon a Star

A young woman, the night sky, and realizations

Lila contemplated the dark sky. She thought about Harry, to whom she had given her virginity Saturday night. She thought about Papa, who wouldn't care anyway. She thought about traveling so far away that the horizon and everyone riding along is edges was behind her. She thought about scratching a shallow hole, curling up, and dying.

Harry had promised to be gentle...but he didn't know how. He was almost as inexperienced as she was. He shivered, wide-eyes, when she took off her clothes; she was vaguely disappointed when he got naked himself. They laid together, and it was awkward, but they made it work. The sex had hurt more than it felt good, but giving herself to Harry had felt wonderful. At the time.

Now she wondered why she had given any part of herself away to anybody. She sat on the chill, damp grass, still aching between her legs, begging the sky to tell her something.

As if in response, a shooting star streaked overhead. She watched it brighten, dim, disappear, and then she began to cry.

She couldn't think of a single thing to wish for, and her heart broke a little more.