Ch12 All Right Now.

Eddie calls at Benito's.

Chapter 12.

♂

I drove to Anne's house after work on Tuesday evening fully prepared for the abuse from her family. Whatever they said or did could not hurt me as much as the emptiness and depression I was feeling from the loss of the girl I adored. I felt I had to see Anne; to try to talk with her, to plead to her, to beg if I had to. She was in my mind all the time; I couldn't sleep, couldn't concentrate on anything. I must try to get her back, whatever it takes I would do it. I never felt such a deep sorrow before, made worse because I knew it was all my fault. I had been a fool, an idiot and I brought this on myself. Worst of all I knew how much I must have hurt Anne. Anne, the girl that loved, adored, and idolised me. I knew my cheating on her had devastated her and I hoped and prayed she would find it in her heart to forgive me.

         I walked to her door and knocked loudly, but there was no reply. I stood back and looked at all the windows, looking for a sign of someone, anyone. Even the Medusa monster would give me some kind of response and a response from her might lead to Anne coming out to see me. I banged on the door again, but nothing stirred. Just my bloody luck, I thought.

         The next-door neighbour looked out. "They've all gone out, something on at the school. Open day, I think."

         Oh, do you know if Anne went as well?"

         "No, I think she's gone to work. Saw her going for the bus earlier."

         I went home and sat watching television for a while, wondering whether to call at the restaurant to see her. It might annoy her, or it might not, but I had to take the chance and do something. I went to run the bath and sorted out my most expensive clothes. I had to look my very best.

         It was not long before I set off in the van, parked across from the restaurant and walked over to look through the window. My heart fluttered and a huge smile blessed my face when I saw Anne at the small bar talking to her boss. She was smiling and laughing and as usual being friendly and sociable; it was just Anne being Anne. As I walked in through the door she turned and the smile dropped from her face as she looked at me as if I were some kind of monster from a bad dream.

         I had done my best though to look smart. I was wearing the mohair three-piece suit which I had made for me by Roseman's the tailors near Mile End station. The suit she always said I looked so smart in. I was wearing the Ben Sherman shirt Anne bought for me for my birthday and a knitted tie with a gold pin she always admired. Although I felt smart and impressive, I was aware she was not going to acknowledge the fact.

         I slipped off my jacket and hung it on the back of the chair before sitting down. I just started to undo the buttons on my waistcoat when Anne walked over to me.

         "What the hell are you doing here?"

         We always see each other on a Tuesday. I was told you were working tonight and I fancied something to eat anyway, so here I am."

         And who told you I was working?"

         "Your next-door neighbour."

         "Might have known, the nosy bugger. Anyway, don't you dare go calling at my house again. You can think yourself lucky my dad wasn't in because if he was he would have punched you on the nose."

         "I can look after myself."

         "Great, you broke my heart, ruined my life, and now you want to fight with my dad as well."

         "I didn't say that; I didn't mean that."

         She took out her pad and pencil. "Are you ready to order?"

         "Anne, we have to talk."

         "Are you ready to order?"

         "Please Anne, just give me a chance."

         "Are you ready to order or would you like to speak to the manager?"

         I picked up the menu. "I'll have, I'll have spaghetti bolognese."

         "Spaghetti bolognese, on its own?"

         "Yeah."

         "Wouldn't you like chips with it?"

         "Oh, do you do chips with it?"

         "No," she said and walked off.

         I watched her walking away. The white lacy blouse, the black pencil skirt, the fishnet tights and of course the black patent strappy sandals. She always loved to wear strappy sandals. Her feet, I never really paid much attention to her feet and I suddenly realised how small, pretty and perfectly shaped her feet were and how I never noticed she always wanted to show them off. Like jewels, jewels I always overlooked. She asked me once to massage her feet. I laughed and told her to piss off. Now I regretted it. Although she laughed with me at the time it was a piece of attention she was longing for from me, but I dismissed the idea without a thought for her and she never asked me again. I looked back up along her legs, her pert bottom and slim waist, her hair neatly up in a bun. She looked gorgeous. Then she was gone, into the kitchen and out of my sight.

         She soon returned with my meal and stared at me with a false grin on her face.

         "Would you like this on the table, sir, or over your head?"

         I looked at her feeling concerned she might just do it. "Don't do that to me, Anne."

         "Don't worry, I do need this job." She put the plate down in front of me and looked over to the door. An elderly couple walked in from the street and without another word to me, she walked across to greet them. They were obviously regulars and Anne helped them to their usual table.

         I watched her. Her friendly manner was pleasing, everything about her was pleasing. I sat looking at her as she took their order and walked across to the kitchen, but to my dismay, she ignored my searching gaze. She was serving customers, taking orders and clearing tables, but not once did she bless me with a glance or a smile. I was watching her all the time, hoping for some kind of acknowledgement or even a hostile stare, but she completely ignored me as if I were not there. I finished my meal and she walked over to my table as soon as I cleared the plate, catching me unawares.

         "That was very nice," I said clumsily and almost in panic because of her sudden presence.

         "I spat in it you know," she said quietly and without a trace of humour on her face as if she really meant it.

         "I don't care if you did."

         She took her pad and pencil. "Would you like a sweet?"

         "I'll just have a coffee thanks."

         "What coffee would you like?"

         "What have you got?"

         "They're on the menu."

         I looked at the menu then dropped it back on the table. "I'll have the espresso." I looked up at her. Eye contact, for the first time that night we had continual eye contact. It was an emotional exchange as if I could see through her eyes into her mind, into her very thoughts. I could see no hate, I could see no anger, her glazed eyes just showed pain and I could see that she was hurting. She gave a swallow, a gulp almost and then turned and walked away.

         I looked down at the table. I began to sniffle and took out my handkerchief to dry my nose. My eyes were watering slightly and I gave a sigh thinking about what I had done to Anne and what I had done to myself.

         A few minutes later, Anne brought the small cup of coffee and put it down in front of me. I smiled at her. "I ordered espresso."

         "That is espresso."

         "I thought espresso was a big cup with froth on the top."

         "No, Eddie, it isn't. Wouldn't you rather be in a transport café somewhere?"

         "Only if you were there. Please sit with me, Anne, we need to talk."

         "No."

         "I won't accept no. I'll come and see you every Tuesday until we're back together again."

         "Yes, and I'll be well impressed you come to see me on the one day a week when you've got sod all else to do. Course, you’ve got better things to do on a Friday, haven't you?" Anne stormed off, this time in obvious anger.

         "Shit, shit, shit!" I muttered to myself, but my words were loud enough to turn a few heads. Tony walked over to my table. He smiled and then put the bill on the table in front of me. The clock in the restaurant chimed to signal midnight and Anne walked out from the back room with her body covered by a maxi-coat reaching down to her ankles.

         I stood up and put my jacket on ready to hurry after her. This was my chance. I would give her a lift home in the van and she would have to listen to me.

         "Your bill, pay your bill," Tony called.

         I dashed back to the table, looked at the bill and threw a five-pound note on the plate. "Keep the change," I called before rushing off again. As I dashed outside, I was alarmed to see Anne getting into a waiting taxi. I ran towards the taxi, but the taxi drove off as I reached for the door handle. Anne looked through the window at me and a terrible sense of shame overcame me because it looked as if she were crying. I walked back to the van and kicked and punched the side panel as if to let off my anger and frustration.

         I set off for home, knowing I was to have another restless night, and hoping Anne would be spared from the same nightly sleeplessness.

Ch13. All Right Now.   (18+) Anne is not too impressed with Dave after a night at the banger races. #1983576 by Bruce.