Between the Lines of Faith

Between the Lines of Faith

Between the Lines of Faith

What is my problem?
Maybe it's not sin or pain or poverty
At least not in the obvious ways.
Maybe it's confusion.
A holy kind of confusion,
The kind that comes from trying to love both God and people
In a world where the two often feel like they're at odds.

They say God is love.
But I've seen His name used like a weapon.
The Bible is clear, they tell me.
But which part? On what issue?
And who decided what “clear” looks like?

Take the LGBTQ+ question.
Some verses say it's wrong, unnatural, and a sin.
Others say we should love our neighbor, judge not,
And that all are made in the image of God.
So what am I supposed to do when the Book
That's supposed to lead me to truth seems to argue with itself?

I've seen people driven out of churches for who they love,
While others are welcomed with open arms
Despite greed, pride, cruelty
All of which Jesus spoke against far more often.
It makes me wonder:
Are we protecting holiness, or just preserving comfort?

And what about women?
In one passage, Paul says they should stay silent.
In another, women preach, prophesy, and lead.
Is God speaking through culture, or above it?
Is He changing, or are we finally hearing Him clearly?

Even Jesus, who I trust more than anyone,
Said things that stretch the limits of my understanding.
If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off.
Hate your father and mother.
The first shall be the last.
I know there's depth behind the words,
But sometimes it feels like I need a degree
Just to be a decent Christian.

Meanwhile, modern life keeps raising questions
The Bible didn't directly address:
AI, climate change, systemic racism, mental health.
I know the Bible is timeless,
But sometimes I wish it were more timely.

So yes, I'm confused.
And maybe that's my real problem:
I want certainty. Neat answers. Clean categories.
But what I have is a messy world
And a God who doesn't always explain Himself.

Still… I keep coming back.
To Scripture. To prayer. To people.
Not because I've figured it all out,
But because there's something sacred in the wrestling.

Because despite everything, I still believe God is love.
Even when His followers aren't.
Even when His book confuses me.
Even when I don't know what to think anymore.

I believe God is love
Not the weak, syrupy kind,
But the fierce, uncomfortable, never-letting-go kind.
The kind that walks into complexity and stays.
The kind that can hold my confusion, my questions, my grief,
And not flinch.

So what am I looking for?

Not easy answers. Not a clean theology.
I'm looking for presence. For wisdom.
For the kind of truth that knows how to whisper
When shouting only wounds.
I'm looking for the courage to say, I don't know,
Without letting go of what I do know.

That love is still the commandment.
That justice still matters.
That grace still saves.
And that maybe God is big enough
To handle my confusion and yours too.