ONE FOR THE DITCH

When an Angel beckons... LISTEN!

“Here y’go, Barry. A water chaser with only one ice cube just like you said.”

“Thanks, Tom. You be da man.”

I needed a drink of water. I was starting to see things. Just a few minutes ago, I thought I saw an angel...clear as a bell as I glanced out the window of Duffy’s Tavern to check on my car in the near empty parking lot. Though semi-transparent, she seemed to be floating over the hood of my new Corvette, glaring at me while waving her index finger as if to say: ‘tsk tsk; no no no,' and then all of a sudden, poof! She was gone.

Good lord, I’m not ‘that’ drunk, am I? Or maybe I've been downing a bad batch of bourbon for the last four hours. Yeah, that must be it, "a bad batch,” I mumbled, and dismissed the notion as I inhaled the last of my drink followed by the water as Tom approached.

“Last call, Champ. One more for the ditch?”

“Yeah, why not… but no more of that Widow Maker stuff you had me try. Makes me see goofy things. I’m beginning to think I’m crazy, so let’s try a new one. Um, how about that fancy looking bottle? Up there, top shelf, left. Yeah, that one.”

“Ok, but just so you’ll know, amigo. Angel’s Envy is real expensive,” Tom warned. “Like forty bucks a shot.”

“Whadju call it… Angel something?”

“Yeah, Angel’s Envy. We just got it in. It’s a single batch bourbon some say is better than Pappy’s Reserve, I’ve been told.”

“Hmm.” I again glanced out the window, but saw nothing aglow except for an overhead pole light reflecting off my devil-red Vette. “I don’t care what it cost, make it a double. Straight up and cash me out.”

Tom obliged by placing a fresh glass with a generous portion of a golden nectar in front of me along with my tab. Before reaching for my wallet, I passed the glass beneath my nostrils, inviting its rich aroma into my airways.

'Angel’s Envy’ he said. “Ha, strange name for a bourbon,” I murmured to myself. But has a nice nose, so what the hell, down the hatch she goes, and slowly drew a healthy taste across my tongue and palate… savoring its sweet buttery feel with a hint of caramel.

Oh my; he was right. This had to be one of the finest, smoothest bourbon’s I have ever tasted. And I know my bourbon’s. I again chanced a peek at my car, but no visage this time either... but did recall the look she gave me. While handing my credit card to Tom, I appraised another lingering sip before asking Tom a question.

“Say, Tom. I believe you once said you live nearby, over in the Maple Leaf neighborhood I think it was. So, how do you get home after locking up if you don’t have a car here?”

“Oh, it’s a little bit of a hike perhaps, but an easy fifteen minute trek if I’m not tired and the weather's nice. Otherwise, after Beckie and I finish up in here, she usually drops me off. Why you ask?”

“Well, I’d like to show you my new car… 490 wild and crazy horsepower, 0 to 60 in 2.9 seconds, and a top end speed of a whopping one-nine-four miles per hour,” I emphasized. "And tonight,” I paused to flip him my keys, "you’re going to take it home with you after dropping me off at my place. I’ll cab it back here tomorrow and pick it up after dinner.”

“Wow! Are you nuts?” Tom said in a playful, but buoyant disbelief. That’s an awesome ride, man!” His eyes were drawn to the sleek machine, ogling its racy profile and every stylish curve and angle. “This is crazy. Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Yeppers. I’ve known you for a long time and trust you, my good man. Right now, I’m happy as a clam at high tide, so take whatever time you need to clean and lock up. Me and this delicious little angel here will just keep on getting acquainted while celebrating.”

“Celebrating? What do you mean— celebrating what?”

“Well, today my friend, I saved me a boatload on auto insurance, and… likely a damned fool's life at the same time.

“You saved someone’s life… whose? When?”

“Mine!” I winked, and raised my glass in salute of a precious golden-haired gal who seemed to be smiling at me from the top shelf, over on the left.